Tougher Than The Rest
by KoalaLou
Summary: I didn't expect my weekend to consist of anything more than a family wedding…then I met Bella and my world was blown apart. Could I accept her reality, once I'd finally learned what that even was? A/H
1. Chapter 1

Tougher Than The Rest

"I didn't expect my weekend to consist of anything more than a family wedding…then I met Bella and my world was blown apart. Could I accept her reality, once I'd finally learned what that even was?"

Chapter 1: "…look at you now, all curves and legs!"

**A/N: I don't own Twilight or its characters; they belong to Stephanie Meyer. This is just what they got up to in my mind.**

**The song for this chapter is the one that partly inspired this story and certainly inspired the title. "Tougher Than The Rest" cover version by Darren Hayes. (Originally written by Bruce Springsteen). This cover can be found on YouTube, it's truly beautiful.**

"Thank you." I nodded to the burly taxi driver as I handed over the fare and exited the cab with as much dignity as possible in the dress I was wearing.

"Have a nice day," he replied as I turned to the imposing hotel building. To the side of the double door entrance was an elegant chalkboard on an easel, proclaiming that this was indeed the venue of Tanya and Eleazar's wedding.

I had been friends with Eleazar since we were little. Our families lived next door to each other growing up, and Eli and I became firm friends. When my parents' marriage ended and my mom left, Eli had been a welcome support. We were only eight at the time, but he was a great friend to me, and his parents cared for me in a way mine couldn't at that time. In the weeks following my mom's departure, Eli's mom used to pack extra in his lunches for him to take to school for me. Charlie, my dad, had thrown himself into his job as a policeman, forgetting for a few weeks that he had a young daughter to care for. When he'd come around to his new reality—a reality without his wife—he'd packed us up and moved us to a new town, stating he'd got a promotion as police chief in Forks, Washington.

It wasn't until years later that Eli and I met again, but this time, as adults, we stayed in touch, meeting for meals and nights out. He soon introduced me to his beautiful fiancée, Tanya, and they invited me to their wedding. Through conversations with the pair, it had become clear Tanya's family were paying for a no-expenses-spared event with everyone invited—from childhood friends to second-cousins-once-removed. I'd heard all about the flower arranger breaking her arm a few weeks ago, the seating plan arguments, which resulted in a chalkboard being snapped in half, and the poor little flower girl who came down with chicken pox last week. Therefore, I was looking forward to seeing how things turned out and hoping for a great day.

Walking into the hotel, I saw a coat check, where I handed over my jacket and bag for safekeeping. I could have kept my phone with me, but I knew if I was needed in an emergency, Garrett would know exactly where I was and would get a message to me. I would pop back after the meal and retrieve my phone to make the same call I made any time I was out for the evening. This wasn't often, but for now I was enjoying the sense of freedom I had. I could let my hair down tonight with no one judging me. It had been a long time since I'd done that, and given how rarely an opportunity like this came around, I was determined to make the most of it tonight.

I entered the ballroom where the wedding was taking place. I'd deliberately arrived close to the ceremony time because I didn't know many people here, so I was hoping to avoid mingling around and waiting on my own.

I was desperate to speak to Eli's parents, whom I hadn't seen since childhood. I knew, however, that as mother and father of the groom, they would be in high demand right now, so I made a mental note to seek them out later.

Coming here alone meant it was easy enough to find a seat for one in the rows either side of the aisle, so I slipped into an end spot, smiling at the elderly man next to me.

As I appraised the room, I saw a gathering on the bride's side, near the front of the aisle. There were several older couples—aunts and uncles, I assumed—but there were also a few younger guys, closer to my age. One caught my attention immediately. He had striking bronze hair, which made him hard to miss, even in a room as full and busy as this one. His suit accentuated his broad shoulders and drew my attention to his body—not that he needed much help with that. I'd have noticed his body regardless of what he was wearing, but the obviously custom-made suit was a nice bonus. I had to snap myself out of this; he was way out of my league and was no doubt married to someone from Tanya's family, probably one of her gorgeous sisters. However, as I watched him take his place in the second row of seats, he sat on the end next to an older gentleman, leaving no room for anyone to join him. I was still admiring him, his strong jaw and his large hands which were currently resting on top of his strong thighs, when I heard a shriek.

"Little Bella Marie!"

The loud voice caught the attention of most people in the room. The bronze-haired guy turned, and as I was already looking at him, our eyes met. However, I didn't have time to think about him further as the shriek had snapped me out of my daydream. I stood up, and turned to the woman who was now hurtling toward me.

"Young lady, look at you!" she added, holding me at arm's length now and appraising me. Unfortunately for me though, her voice was loud and bellowing, and most of the room was now looking at me too.

"Hello, Mrs. Denali," I greeted her fondly as she hugged me tightly to her.

"I knew it was you straight away, dear," she announced once she released me. "You have the same beautiful face, but look at you now, all curves and legs!" she continued as I blushed furiously. "Eli told me he'd found you again. I was so pleased…you had such a soft soul. I was worried about you when you moved. I thought that town would crush your spirit, but you look great! Eli says you're well?" she carried on, her voice finally lowering to a normal level as I nodded.

"Yes, I'm good. How about you?" I asked as she shook her head.

"Oh don't worry about us, dear. We're ticking on. Eli told me about Tyler. Bella, I had no idea…"

"Mom," Eli interrupted his mother, tapping her on the shoulder, prompting her to turn to him. "Tanya's ready. We're about to start. Why don't you catch up with Bella later? Dad will want to see her too," Eli added with a nervous smile.

"Oh, of course," his mom replied. "Gosh! My little boy is getting married!" she squealed as she squeezed Eli's cheeks and brushed some nonexistent lint off his shoulder.

Eli groaned, looking down at his overly shiny shoes, as his mom fussed over him. At least I wasn't the only person who was embarrassed right now.

"I'll speak to you later, dear. I'm so glad you're well," she added, turning back to me before I took my seat.

I could feel the bronze-haired guy looking over at me. I didn't know if he could hear our conversation over the general noise in the room, but just his look was enough to faze me. I couldn't make eye contact with him though. My cheeks were still flushed, and my ears were still ringing from Mrs. Denali's words. I'd forgotten how loud and jolly Eli's mom was. And I'd forgotten how much I missed her—her motherly nature—her whole family unit.

Thankfully though, the room then fell into silence as soft classical music started to play, and the ceremony commenced. The wedding was truly beautiful. Eli and Tanya looked so happy, and Tanya was stunning in a white lace wedding dress and a delicate flower bouquet. Her chicken-pox-riddled flower girl wore a sparkly dress, and her wide beaming smile could have rivaled Tanya's, were she not the bride.

Afterwards we exited the room onto a grassy area outside where I noticed drinks were being served. I grabbed a glass and watched people milling around, congratulating the bride and groom and chatting amongst themselves. I spotted a group of Eli's friends, who I'd met at a lunch for his birthday. Grateful for a few familiar faces, I headed their way and joined in the conversation. However, my thoughts were never far from the guy who had held my attention all afternoon. I saw him chatting with many other guests, but he didn't appear to be with a woman. As I looked around again, I saw him with a curly-haired blond guy and a shorter woman with cropped dark hair rocking a baby on her hip as they chatted with him. He smiled widely and laughed with the couple, taking a sip from his glass as they spoke to him. Then, with no warning at all, he turned and looked at me. His face was handsomely striking, and his gaze was intense. I wanted to run toward him and run far away from him at the same time. Instead, I did neither. I smiled, gaining a smile back from him before the guy he was with tapped his arm and regained his attention.

It had been a long time since a guy had paid me any attention, so a smile across the room was enough for my mind to wander—to his chest, his thighs, and his body under that suit. I had no skills or practice in flirting. I was out of my depth here, so I decided to let the night take me where it may. Whatever happened, I'd still be me in the morning. I'd return to my happy little life and never see most of these people again. Chances were I'd end the night tucked up safely in my bed with a hot chocolate, wishing Garrett would stop snoring long enough for me to fall asleep.

I knew we would soon be called to take our seats for dinner, so I excused myself and headed for the restroom where I gave myself a talking to. I wasn't in the business of putting myself down, but I was realistic. I doubted a guy like him would be interested in me – not in my situation. However, I didn't need a marriage proposal – I was just looking for a fun night. Most guys would like that, right?

I'd found a temporary boldness, whether it was in the alcohol I was drinking or the freedom I'd found for one night. Either way, I wanted to be reckless for once.

To live for me.

To be bold enough to put myself first.

To remember…

To forget…

ooooooOOOOOOoooooo

_Edward Cullen_. That was me, and by the looks of this seating plan I was seated at the Lily table with no one from my family to keep me company. _Thanks, Tanya_.

I sighed and walked into the well-decorated hall. I knew my cousin's wedding would be an elaborate affair—hence my designer suit—but this surpassed all my expectations. The hall was bathed in a soft light with swathes of white linen hanging from the ceiling and attached to the walls. The tables were sprinkled with rose petals and an elaborately folded origami heart in the center of them, which read; _"Sit where you wish but your place is on the dance floor."_ That was definitely Tanya's influence. As formal as this wedding was, she wanted to kick back and have a fun reception. That, coupled with the fact that seating plans were notoriously a pain in the ass to arrange, meant I was free to sit wherever I wanted at the Lily table.

I took a seat, noticing that in front of me were more glasses and cutlery than I knew what to do with. I smiled at the unfamiliar couple already seated opposite me at the table. However, before I could introduce myself, the room became occupied by many hungry guests and the noise level rose. As our table filled up, I glanced at the woman taking a seat next to me. She was the one I'd seen a few times this afternoon, mainly when that crazy loud woman accosted her and greeted her like she was her long lost daughter. What did she call her? Marie something? Something Marie? Whatever this woman's name was, it appeared she, like me, had come to the wedding alone. I was struggling to believe she didn't have a date though. She was beautiful. Not over the top, in your face stunning like my cousin Tanya but more girl next-door—understated and naturally beautiful. Maybe I didn't hate this seating plan—or lack of—quite so much now.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her smoothing out her dress and looking around nervously, so I took a deep breath and turned to her. "You came to this alone?" I inquired. As she looked at me, her eyes widened. I wished I knew what she was thinking, but she gave nothing else away when she replied.

"Err, yeah. I didn't feel right taking up another place just to save face." She was slightly shy, not quite making eye contact with me, but I felt like we already had something in common.

"Me too," I told her, pleased that I'd made her smile as we shared our pain at going stag to a wedding. "My family's all here though," I added while my arm circled the room, motioning to the other guests.

"Ah, family wedding?" she asked, brushing her sweeping bangs out of the corner of her eye. Her hair was long, chocolate brown, and curled elegantly for the occasion.

"Yeah, Tanya's my cousin." I picked up the water pitcher from the center of the table and offered her a drink.

"Thanks." She nodded, holding out her glass while I poured her a drink, then myself, and then offered the pitcher to the guy seated on the other side of me.

"I'm Edward," I introduced myself as I turned back to her. She looked up at me from under her long lashes and introduced herself as Bella.

"So, did you have to travel far?" she asked, making me smile at her desire to maintain the conversation.

We continued to chat as the appetizer was served. Bella seemed quite shy, but I was able to make her laugh a few times. As time progressed, I saw her physically relax into the evening—her shoulders lowered, and her smile widened. She was charming and intelligent which only increased her appeal. While the meal continued, our eye contact grew along with our laughs as we chatted about random things. We stuck to common interests: TV, films, music, travelling, nothing too personal. We talked to the other guests at our table but always ended up chatting, just the two of us again.

I was drawn to her, and I think she felt the same. The way she twirled her hair around her finger when she was thinking hard and the way she smiled widely when she was encouraging me to talk had me wanting this meal to last all night—especially when she moaned at how good the chocolate dessert was, only to look embarrassed and apologize. Not that that was necessary—I was replaying that moan more times than any gentleman should.

Before long, we were finishing our desserts and being shushed by the wedding party, who seemed eager to start the speeches. The head table was behind us, so we turned our chairs in order to see them clearly. I took the opportunity to stand and remove my suit jacket. I was getting hotter and hotter. I couldn't tell if it was my attraction to Bella or the fact that I was in this room full of people. Either way, after I removed my jacket, I hung it over my seat, undid my top button, and loosened my tie before I sat back down. I looked over at Bella, who was watching intently. Her gaze made me feel wanted. Her look was intense, like she wanted to do, or say, so much. But she didn't. I undid my cuff buttons and rolled my sleeves up to my elbows, revealing my forearms and silver wrist watch. Bella sighed and looked away, toward the head table, and now I was the one staring. This was the first time I'd seen the whole of her body up close. She was stunning. Her dress stopped just above her knees, which made her legs look amazing especially the way she crossed one over the other and swung it slightly. How could I not have noticed?

I swear, I tried to listen to the speeches, I really did. I think Uncle Alec was actually quite funny, despite him being emotional at giving away his youngest daughter earlier in the day. However, the woman to my left was very distracting. Every now and then, we would make eye contact and smile before she would look away. As the speeches continued, I saw her eyes drop to my chest, to the gap I'd exposed when I loosened my tie and undid the top button of my shirt. She shook her head slightly and turned away, looking embarrassed. As we sat, I tried to read her. She hadn't given much away when we'd spoken earlier, but her body language was undeniable. She liked what she saw. She liked me.

As the speeches drew to a close, I laughed along with my family and friends. We all toasted to the bride and groom before they eagerly announced that the evening reception would now commence.

Bella excused herself, presumably for the restroom, and I couldn't help but watch her as she walked away. She looked stunning in a soft red dress that sat just off her shoulders, giving her a high neckline but showing off her collarbone. The outfit was matched with a very nice pair of heels, giving her those stunning legs. I couldn't help but notice it was quite a nice fit around her ass, too. Damn, I needed to get a grip.

"Earth to Edward."

"Huh?" I spun round, embarrassed. I recognized that voice, and it was the last person I wanted to catch me ogling a woman I'd only known a couple of hours.

"Eddie boy, made a new friend, have you? Not bringing a date does have advantages after all!" My brother laughed, delighting in my embarrassment as his wife nudged him with her elbow.

"Shush, Em. You're such a jerk," she scolded him fondly.

"Rosie, he was practically drooling," Emmett replied while I rolled my eyes. "Speaking of drooling," he continued. "My wife looks stunning tonight. Seth's been picked up by a friend's Mom to stay the night with them, so we can party, but I think we're about to leave in a minute. We're going to take advantage of Seth's sleepover, if you know what I mean!" His face split into a playful grin as Rosalie smacked him on the arm gently.

"Em, the whole room knows what you mean!" I joked with him.

"Well, you have fun, little bro. We're gonna have a dance and then head off," Emmett told me as I nodded to him.

"Okay, see you at breakfast – if you manage to get up, that is."

"Oh, we'll be there. It's an all-you-can-eat buffet breakfast. All that food, dude…" His voice got fainter and trailed off as Rosalie pulled him onto the dance floor, and they disappeared into the many couples now dancing.

As Bella walked back toward our table, I was beginning to realize I wasn't the only guy in the room to notice her. She, however, seemed oblivious to this as she approached me.

"I'm heading up for a beer. Would you like a drink?"

"Oh, I left my bag at the coat check—" she started before I placed a hand on her shoulder and interrupted.

"This is the point where I could pretend to be a gentleman and buy you drinks all night, but it's an open bar, so…what do you want?"

"Oh, I didn't want to assume… anyway, I'd love a mojito, but I'll come with you," she told me as we set off for the bar together. In the back of my mind, I was actually pleased she was being so sensible about not accepting a drink from a strange man who'd just admitted he wasn't a gentleman. However, the bigger part of my brain was just pleased to be seen with her when a few other guys in the room were clearly appreciating the view she was offering.

We soon returned to the table with our drinks, but this time we were seated facing each other, our legs mingling between our chairs as we talked. I noticed Bella avoided talking about herself. She changed the subject if things got too personal, but we talked constantly, and I was having a great time. I'd expected to find my family as soon as the meal was over, but I hadn't given them much thought as Bella and I continued to chat and laugh.

I couldn't help but notice her neck and her collarbone. I was desperate to lean in and whisper in her ear, nibble at her neck, and make her moan again. I didn't know where those thoughts were coming from. Sure, I was a red-blooded male who did okay in the dating department. I'd dated pretty women before, and I definitely didn't live like a monk. But Bella, she made me think, made me feel, and I hadn't had that in a long time.

I noticed her looking at me—my hands, my arms, and my thighs. She was losing her shyness and becoming more forward with me. She leaned in and held my arm when she laughed. She tapped my thigh to scold me when I said something uncomplimentary about the Seattle Seahawks, her favorite team, and she held her breath when I finally did lean into her and whispered in her ear. Her hair smelled amazing, and I ached to kiss her neck. I'd been attracted to her as soon as I'd seen her earlier, but now, this was something else. I felt a need to know her better, to be with her, to make sure she felt this too.

As we finished our drinks, Bella turned her body toward the dance floor and watched couples dancing around. She was looking wistful as she tapped her foot to the beat of the slow song. I stood and stretched my tall frame, and before I had time to overthink my actions, I bowed down slightly in front of her and offered her my hand.

"Would you like to dance with me?" I watched her face, noticing she was clearly surprised by my words.

"I, umm, coordination isn't my strong point. I haven't danced in years. I'll probably break your toes, especially in heels," she stumbled shyly.

"Leave your shoes here," I suggested. "Come on. I can hold my own with the slow songs. I'll help you."

She stood up slowly and stepped out of her heels, losing about two inches in height as she did so. She paired her shoes together under the table and turned back to me to take my proffered hand. Her hand felt small in mine, and when we reached the center of the dance floor, I placed my other hand on the middle of her back, and realized how well she fitted under my chin. Her spare hand stretched toward my chest. I'm pretty sure she wanted to rest it there but changed her mind, and instead held onto my waist, gripping my hip just above my belt. Despite being close to the part of my body that was working overtime right now, the placement of her hand felt less intimate than if it was on my chest.

"Hop on," I said as she stared at me blankly, a pretty cute confused expression clouding her features. "My feet!" I clarified, not letting my mind think of any alternatives to my words.

"Your feet? I thought the idea of dancing was _not_ to step on your partner's toes?"

"True, but the idea is also to have fun, so hop up, and we'll be waltzing round the room in no time."

"Okay," she agreed nervously. "But tell me if I'm squashing your toes."

"You'll be fine," I assured her as she gingerly stood one foot on top of mine, followed by the other. I think it was around then we both realized how close to me she now was.

I started moving my feet slowly, but that didn't help. Her body was now rocking up and down mine with my movements. Damn! She was now very close to certain parts of me.

"So you've taken dance lessons?" she inquired, probably to ease some of the tension we were both feeling now.

"Err, yeah," I started, but coughed to clear my throat that was suddenly very dry. "My mom and dad—they're around here somewhere—they love dancing. They're always dancing around the house. It used to embarrass the hell out of me, but now that I'm older, I can see it's really great how in love they still are. Anyway, they insisted on teaching my brother and me some moves for our prom. It turned out to be real fun to learn with them. It all stuck with me. I just never forgot," I explained with a shrug.

"So did it impress your prom date?"

"Me? Not so much. I got a peck on the cheek at the end of the night, and then she started dating someone else the following week. I guess something must have worked for my brother though, 'cause he's married to his prom date." I grinned at the memory of Emmett and Rosalie at prom, and the—now very outdated—photo of the event that hung in my parents' hallway.

"Wow. High school sweethearts?"

"Yep. They should be around here somewhere too, but I'm pretty sure they've taken advantage of their son being collected and looked after by a friend, and they've escaped already."

"Right." She nodded as a slightly awkward silence followed.

"What about your prom? You must've danced then," I said as we continued to move slowly to the music.

"Not really. I dated a guy from a different school. I didn't have too many friends in high school."

"I find that hard to believe," I answered truthfully. This woman was smart, funny, and beautiful. I was having the best night I'd had in a long time.

"Well it's true," she explained with a shrug as I listened in disbelief. "When my parents split up my Mom moved away, so I had to grow up pretty fast. I didn't have much in common with my peers," she added.

"Excuse me..." I heard a voice start as a hand gripped my shoulder. Bella jumped at the sudden interruption. I think we'd both fallen into our own bubble and forgotten the rest of the room. "Can I have this dance?" the voice continued as Bella stepped back off my feet, making me miss her closeness and body heat immediately.

I looked up at the guy attached to this annoying voice. His hair was dirty blond, and he had a smirk that showed he knew exactly what he'd interrupted. I felt Bella's hand grip mine more tightly. That was all the answer I needed.

"Sorry. We're not done here," I explained.

"You don't wanna let the lady speak for herself?" the guy asked.

I looked at Bella and waited, giving her time to speak. "We're not done here," she answered, echoing my words. Now it was my turn for the smug grin.

"Fine," the guy replied. "Maybe later," he muttered as he turned and left. I watched him walk away, but it wasn't far enough for my liking.

"You want to get some fresh air?" I offered as Bella grinned up at me.

"Yeah, just let me grab my shoes," she added before she disappeared into the crowd.

I heard Bella's heels clicking before I saw her. Once she reached me, I grabbed her hand and pulled her through the—now even busier—dance floor toward the patio doors at one end. We exited onto a deck, and even though we were the only people out here, we moved down, so we weren't in front of the doors. I then released her hand and leaned on the balcony railing, looking out to the hotel grounds below. The view was more than I'd expected. The gardens were nicely landscaped with solar lights illuminating the shaped bushes, adding a soft glow to the darkening sky. The stone path was lined on either side with candles in mason jars hanging from the trees, giving a magical feel to the evening, and the cool breeze out here was a welcomed relief from the hot, slightly stuffy reception hall.

"You know that guy?" I asked her, struggling to forget his interruption.

"No," she answered with a shake of her head. "I've never spoken to him before. I don't know why he'd want to dance with me."

I raised my eyebrows. "Hmm, sure," I scoffed, slightly louder than I'd intended to. She looked at me, confused as she too leaned down, resting on the balcony rails. "Bella, you look beautiful," I told her. "A lot of guys were looking at you in there. Your legs look ten feet tall in that dress. That probably has something to do with it!" I told her as she elbowed me.

"Shut up!" She laughed.

"It's true," I insisted. And it was. Her legs were distracting, especially now that they were once again attached to those red heels.

"Well, I'm pretty sure you in that suit isn't a disgusting sight either," she told me as I barked out a laugh. It was great to laugh so much. I realized it had been too long since I'd felt this kind of connection and attraction to a woman.

"Is that your version of a compliment?" I joked with her. "I'm not disgusting? Jeez thanks. That's the best you got?" I teased. I watched her, fascinated by the blush creeping up her cheeks as I pressed her for compliments.

"Your hands are…hot," she announced, in a quieter voice now.

"Hands? Huh." That was a new one. I'm not sure I'd ever been complemented on my hands before. I looked down at them and turned them over before realizing Bella was looking too. "You're a hands girl?" I asked, still sounding amused as I raised an eyebrow in question to her.

"No. Yes. Well, I'm more of a chest girl—chest and biceps actually—but I haven't seen those, so…" She trailed off as I waggled my eyebrows at her. "You're gonna laugh at that too?" she asked as I shook my head.

"No, I'm a chest guy too!" I joked.

"So predictable!" she scoffed before we fell into silence.

"Are you staying here, at the hotel?" I asked as she shook her head.

"No. I'll grab a cab soon," she answered. "You?"

"Yeah, I have a room. My family's all staying here," I told her as she nodded but didn't reply. Her mention of going soon didn't sit right with me. I wanted to get to know her better—to see more of her. Well, more of her personality.

Who was I kidding? I wanted to see more than just her personality!

**Thanks to anyone who has read this. Please let me know what you think.**

**A huge thank you to Project Team Beta for all their beta help.**

**I can be contacted on Twitter: KoalaLouWrites**

**Until next time…**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: "I'm trying really hard not to kiss you right now."

**A/N:** **I don't own Twilight or its characters; they belong to Stephanie Meyer. This is just what they got up to in my mind.**

**The song for this chapter is "Beautiful ****Tonight" by Westlife**

I watched Bella as she admired the candles in the garden below the deck we were standing on. Her face was lit by the soft moonlight, highlighting her long eyelashes and flushed cheeks. Her hair swayed as her head nodded slightly to the beat of the song which was wafting faintly out to us from the main hall.

"I'm glad the day's gone so well for Tanya and Eleazar," she remarked still looking out to the gardens.

"Yeah. It all looks amazing in there." I remembered the elaborately laid tables. The soft pink bows tied onto the white linen chair covers, the ladies in stylish hats and the men in expensive suits and the fancy five-tiered cake which was making the table it was sat on bow slightly. The whole wedding atmosphere was in full swing, and it was definitely getting to me too.

"I love this song," Bella whispered as I straightened up and turned to her.

"You wanna go back in?" I was enjoying my time alone with her, but if she wanted to go back inside, I knew I'd follow. I didn't know much about her, but I knew I didn't want her to leave; I didn't want this night to end.

"No, no. I've done my quota of dancing for about the next five years!" she joked as I grinned. I took in her wide smile and the way her cheeks blushed as she mentioned dancing with me. Her actions were giving me confidence that she liked me, and that she wanted this night to go further.

"I don't know about that. If you're lucky there might be a conga line you can join later!"

"Really?" she asked me skeptically. "We might have to disappear before then."

I didn't miss her use of the word 'we' as I nodded.

"Don't worry. I don't think the conga is really Tanya's sort of thing. She was the kind of girl to dress up in a white dress with a net curtain on her head. When we were young she always turned her playhouse into a chapel. My brother and I preferred to dress up as superheroes, but she always told us that Superman and The Hulk would never get invited to her wedding."

"Yet here you are!" Bella grinned at me, her eyes bright with laughter.

"Yeah. I threatened to wear the Superman outfit today, but I chickened out, too much tight spandex!"

"So, if I were to undo your shirt now there wouldn't be a big 'S' on your chest?" she enquired with raised eyebrows.

"You want to find out?" I continued as Bella's grin widened. "My brother and I joked about it, but Rose would kill him if he stood with her dressed as The Hulk."

"Well I'm sure Tanya's grateful. I doubt red, blue and green would match her color scheme!" I chuckled as Bella continued. "Was your brother's wedding this fancy?"

I remembered the penguin suit I wore then and nodded. "Yeah. More so for me because I was his best man. My suit had this cravat thing I didn't know how to tie and a flower in the lapel that made me sneeze all morning. Still…Rosalie wanted the whole shebang… most girls do, right?"

"I guess." She shrugged, making me wonder what she was thinking. She looked away from me and back to the lit-up gardens as she spoke. "So your parents were okay with him marrying his high school sweetheart? They must've been young."

"Yeah. My parents are total romantics. They married a few months after my dad finally got my mom to talk to him. They're still crazy about each other now. They always told us that you don't find love, it finds you. And when it finds you, you hold on and work hard to keep it alive. As long as Emmett agreed to that, they were happy." I trailed off, noticing Bella's expression. She had turned back to me with both a surprised and amazed look on her face, perhaps at how open I'd been in my answer. "Sorry, I know you mentioned your parents split up." I wondered if I'd upset her.

"Yeah, but that's not a story to tell at a wedding."

"I guess not," I agreed. The conversation had turned heavy, and as a louder, more upbeat song travelled out to us, I knew I wanted to get back to our earlier easy conversation and banter. "You want another drink?" I offered, hoping to prolong our time alone outside.

"Sure."

"Wait here. I'll bring them out. Mojito?" I asked remembering her order from earlier in the night.

"Thanks." She nodded.

I headed for the bar and ordered both drinks. They arrived quickly, and I raced back into the cool breeze of the night air. I was eager to get back to Bella, but as I approached I realized she had company. Slimy Guy from earlier was back. I picked up my pace, but when I neared her I could hear she was holding her own.

"James, that's not going to happen," she was telling him, her voice sounding sterner than I'd heard all evening. I knew neither of them had noticed me so I stood behind Slimy Guy and coughed loudly. Bella jumped but looked relieved as she made eye contact with me.

"Fine. Goodbye…again," the man, James, told her before he spun around and deliberately knocked my arm as he walked away.

My drink sloshed out of the full glass all over my white shirt as I tried not to swear in the presence of a woman. My mom would wash my mouth out for that_—_literally_—_I still remember the soapy taste from my teenage years. I spun around to confront James but felt a hand rest on my arm.

"Leave it, Edward. He's not worth it."

I watched James retreat back inside. Bella was right. I didn't need to waste my evening fighting with him when I could spend the time with her. I willed myself to relax before I turned to face Bella. I took a deep breath, and after my shoulders lost their tension, I looked down at my shirt. I could see the liquid was turning my white shirt see-through, and I could feel it soaking slowly through to my skin, sticking the material to my body. I looked up at Bella. She was looking at my chest and staring at what she could through the wet fabric. _Maybe this wasn't so bad after all!_

"You okay?" I asked, snapping her back to reality.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Her eyes shot up to meet mine. I looked doubtfully back at her. "Edward," she continued, "my cousin's a karate black belt. He's taught me so many self-defense moves that I didn't even know which one to use first." She gave me a soft smile, but I could see the truth in her words.

"The most painful one," I answered for her.

"Yeah, but that one involved going for his nuts, and I wasn't keen on getting too close to them," she told me with a grimace on her face.

"Good. Here." I held out her drink and took a sip of what was left of mine as she thanked me. "What did he want anyway?" I asked her, pulling the wet shirt fabric off my skin and attempting to dry it slightly with my free hand.

"Just a dance."

"Sure, _just_ a dance," I repeated under my breath.

"You don't know what he was thinking." Bella challenged me. I forgot all about the wet, uncomfortable shirt in my hand as I looked up at her.

"Psh, I'm male. I saw the way he was looking at you. It was like you were the next course on that elaborate dinner menu," I told her, watching as she raised her eyebrows at me.

"Really? I knew I should have worn the other dress." She mused, more to herself than me.

I shook my head. "There's nothing wrong with that dress," I scoffed, my voice low. Bella struggled to swallow her mouthful of drink as her eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You heard me earlier, right? I think you're beautiful. And now I know that you're funny and smart and…" I trailed off, amused by the look of shock on her face. "It's true," I told her with a shrug, answering her unasked question.

"How many of those beers have you had?" Her voice was a low whisper which went straight to my groin.

"Enough to speak my mind," I answered seriously. We both knew neither of us were drunk.

"You're very open…with your thoughts…with me. I'm not used to that." She still looked surprised and unsure about believing me.

"You're not used to being told you're beautiful?" I asked, enjoying her blush as she swept her hair off her face.

"Err, no." She shrugged, her words trailing off as she looked at the rim of her glass, not at me.

"Well, you should be told every day." I stepped closer to her and closed the gap between us as I took a deep breath. "Every. Damn. Day."

I removed her drink from her hand and rested it, with mine, on a nearby table. When I returned I stood even closer to her than before. So close that my shirt touched her dress as I took her hands in mine. My fingers toyed with hers before they reached up to her soft, delicate wrists. I stroked across her pale skin and felt her pulse racing. I ran my fingertips up her bare arms, slowly, over her elbows, until I reached her shoulders.

"Bella?" I asked, seeking her permission to do this, to cross this line and do what I'd wanted to do since before our dance.

She finally looked up at me as I spoke again.

"I'm trying really hard not to kiss you right now."

"Why?"

_Oh God_. I groaned at her response. "Why? Well because…because I barely know you." My eyes scanned her face. "Because we just met." I licked my lips in anticipation of what I knew I couldn't resist. "Because my cousin will kill me if I fuck with her friend." My face inched closer to hers, and my voice lowered. "Because I don't want to mess up my chance to be with you by moving too fast. Because I know I should respect you more. Because…"

My voice trailed off. I could carry on forever with reasons, but I knew in my heart, they didn't feel valid. Yes, we had just met but this felt so good. So right. I couldn't ignore that. I knew there was no reason bigger than my desire to kiss her. I'd made the first move with many women in the past, but I'm not sure I ever cared this much before about the outcome.

My heart was beating fast as I raised my hands to her face. My thumbs stroked across her flushed cheekbones, and my fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of her neck. I looked at her plump lips then to her deep brown eyes before I leaned further into her. I felt her shiver with the gentle pressure of my thumbs tracing across her delicate skin. That was all the encouragement I needed to close the gap between our faces until our lips met.

Our kiss started softly as I gently explored her lips, the corners of her mouth and the bow of her upper lip. However, Bella was soon turning her face to try and deepen the kiss herself. I smiled against her lips before I finally settled my mouth on hers.

I knew I felt something for this woman. I knew I was going against logic with how much I wanted to kiss her, but when our kiss deepened I was rewarded for my instinct. _Fuck!_ I didn't know I could want like this. My whole body was tingling with goose bumps. My hands were itching to hold her tighter, to pull her closer, to do anything to fulfill this need I had for her.

Her lips were soft and moved slowly against mine as I moved both my hands to her back and pulled her closer to me, molding her body against mine. She released a small moan when our bodies were finally flush together. I could feel her breasts pushed against my shirt as heat and warmth shot through my body. _Christ_, she fitted so well against me. I'm pretty damn sure I'd never felt so turned on by a kiss before.

Immediately, I grew hard against her. I would have been embarrassed but it felt too good. My whole body was a live wire, wanting more, needing more. I knew when she felt me as she pulled her mouth away slightly and gasped, leaving me trying with all my willpower not to thrust against her. I gave her a second or two to adjust as my lips moved to her neck and trailed hot, wet kisses on her soft skin.

"That's what you do to me, Bella," I whispered, nibbling at her neck before I kissed her pulse point.

"Me?" she questioned, sounding surprised despite the rather hard evidence that I was providing her with.

"Just you." I pulled my head back and looked her in the eyes as I willed her to believe me.

"Edward," she breathed, biting her lip. My confirmation appeared to spur her on even further as she tugged at my shirt and pulled it free from my pants at the back. Her warm, soft hands found the flesh of my lower back where they gripped and released me urgently. I pulled her closer to me needing her body flush against mine again.

I briefly worried that my wet shirt was going to soak through to her dress but this didn't seem to concern Bella as her body willingly molded to mine.

"Damn. You feel so good," I groaned, unable to resist a small thrust against her body. I needed the friction. I was desperate to feel more of her. I resumed kissing her neck as one of my hands crept up her back into her hair before I used it to pull her dress further off her shoulders to reveal more of her creamy skin to my lips. "So damn perfect," I growled as I inhaled her scent which was wafting my way from her moving hair.

She continued to move her hands under my shirt but worked her way round to the front of my body. Her small hands squeezed in between our bodies, pulling my shirt loose as she went. _I guess she really wasn't kidding about wanting to see my chest._

As I continued to kiss and nuzzle her neck, working my way back to her lips, she surprised me by dropping her hand from its busy job of loosening my shirt and lowering it to my groin. She hit the bull's-eye immediately as her hand gripped over my pants and stroked my ridiculously hard erection.

"Jesus Christ," I exclaimed, jumping in surprise at her hand making a sudden appearance right where my body was screaming for her.

"I want you," she breathed quietly as I gasped.

_Fuck that was erotic._ "I'd repeat that, but I think it's pretty damn obvious how much I want you," I moaned as I moved my head back to look her in the eyes. They were dancing with life and lust. She looked radiant. "Bella, fuck," I groaned as she continued to move her hand up and down at the prefect speed to drive me crazy. All thoughts of remaining polite and not swearing in front of a woman were long gone. I was far too turned on to worry about my deeply ingrained manners now.

"Are you okay? You're…sticky," she asked as my eyes widened and I looked down at my pants. I knew I was extremely turned on, but I think I'd remember shooting my load like a teenager. Bella laughed as I looked back up at her questioningly.

"Your shirt," she explained as she moved her hand to pull at the large patch that was covered in my beer from earlier.

"Oh yeah that!" I smiled, relieved. "It'll wash out." I shrugged.

"You could always take it off?" she suggested as I chuckled at her. She played with the buttons on my shirt, and I half thought she was going to undo it herself.

"Not here. I have a room upstairs," I told her as she nodded slowly, making my dick harden to painful proportions at the prospect of her returning to my hotel room with me. "Don't worry, I believe you about the self-defense moves. I want you near my groin for reasons that don't involve karate chopping my balls," I joked as she grinned up at me.

"Good because I was serious. I know some moves so keep it clean, Edward," she warned me as I stroked over her exposed collar bones with my thumbs.

"I can't promise that, Bella. My thoughts are the opposite of clean right now."

"Oh yeah?" she enquired as she toyed with the fabric of my shirt. She undid the highest two buttons as we spoke before roaming her fingers over the skin of my chest this move exposed.

Now that Bella's hands were no longer on my dick, I was able to think slightly more clearly. I was aware that anyone could walk outside and see us, anyone including my family, my parents.

"Come on," I told her decisively, grabbing her hand as I turned and pulled her behind me as we headed back inside. "I'll be topless in less than a minute if we stay out here any longer," I joked as she chuckled behind me.

"More like thirty seconds!" she replied as I raced through the still thriving reception hall, praying none of my family spotted us.

Fuck knows what I looked like. My hair was a mess, my shirt was untucked and mostly unbuttoned, and I had a hard on that had only just relented enough to let me walk. Thankfully, we raced through the room and into the hallway without being accosted.

Bella paused at the coat check.

"I need to grab my stuff." She pointed to the counter and I nodded, staying where I was while she walked to the attendant and spoke to him. She returned with her jacket over her arm and her bag over her shoulder while I jabbed at the elevator call button several times as I willed it to hurry the fuck up. Bella laughed.

"Hit it another time why don't you?" she whispered next to my ear. Her mouth travelled from my jaw to meet my eager lips. She leaned into me_—_causing me to fall backwards against the wall_—m_aking my ass hit the call button again. Our kiss broke apart as we laughed at the irony.

I looked down at her. Her eyes were alive with mischief, her cheeks rosy and her lips plump. I raised my hand and brushed my thumb over her soft lips. They formed into a smile under my touch as she opened up her mouth and began to tease my thumb with her tongue, drawing it into her mouth as she sucked on it.

"Damn, Bella," I breathed as her tongue swirled around my thumb and she quietly moaned as I watched her, realizing how turned on this was making her. Bella jumped as the elevator I'd forgotten all about suddenly dinged. The doors opened, thankfully revealing it was empty. We walked quickly inside as I pressed the button for my floor.

I glanced in the elevator's mirrored surfaces and caught a look at Bella's reflection. I couldn't resist planting another kiss on her lips. She pulled me closer as she made the kiss more passionate by running her hands through my hair. I savored this feeling, this connection with her. I couldn't recall past kisses being this…strong, this all-consuming, or this uncontrollable.

I never understood how family and friends_—_my parents and Emmett in particular_—_could be so sure of their relationships. At eighteen Emmett knew he wanted to marry Rosalie. I'd never even been close to having those sorts of feelings for anyone. Being the teenager I was at the time, I'd questioned Emmett, asking him how he could be so sure he'd never want to sleep with another woman. He'd given me a wry smile and told me I'd understand one day. Well, today I was a step closer to understanding because if he felt chemistry like this_—_no wonder he couldn't make it to work on time most days. I'd do this all day everyday if I could.

As the elevator stopped the doors reopened to reveal that the corridor was empty. I took Bella's hand as we ran and stumbled to my room. Once outside the door I fished in my pants pocket for my room card, and after finding it I swiped at the electronic lock below the door handle. It bleeped red and didn't open when I tried the handle.

'Fucking thing,' I barked as I tried another time, feeling exasperated when it flashed red again. _Fuck!_ I just wanted to get Bella inside that hotel room. The door finally unlocked on my third attempt. I held it open, looking at Bella as I gestured for her to enter first.

She looked up at me, her eyes calmer and softer now as she assessed me. My dick was overcome with desire for her to walk into my room, but my head was overwhelmed at her trust for me. If my sister went back to a hotel room with a guy she'd just met, I'd be the first to rattle off the numerous dangers involved in such a situation. However, all thoughts of my sister, and anyone else on the planet, quickly left my mind as I watched Bella who had apparently found whatever answer she was looking for. Her eyes left mine and trailed down my chest, lingering on my open shirt, before she stepped over the threshold into my room.

**Thanks to anyone who has read this. Please let me know what you think.**

**A huge thank you to Project Team Beta for all their beta help.**

**I can be contacted on Twitter: KoalaLouWrites**

**Until next time…**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: _Wait...what?_ _Since when did I find a woman's toes cute?_

**A/N: I don't own Twilight or its characters; they belong to Stephanie Meyer. This is just what they got up to in my mind.**

**Ready for the next **instalment? **I hope you enjoy.**

**The song I imagine playing in this chapter is Beneath Your Beautiful by Labrinth Featuring Emeli Sande.**

As Bella entered my room, I silently prayed I'd left it in a decent state. I'd been in a hurry when I changed for the wedding this afternoon, but after a quick glance around I was satisfied she wouldn't think I was too much of an untidy pig. Besides, if I had it my way, there would be even more clothes strewn around the room in a few short minutes.

I watched her ass**—**looking fabulous in her tight fitting dress**—**until she turned around to face me. I grinned at her, knowing she'd caught me looking, as I turned and closed the door. I didn't lock it, knowing that might worry her. As much as I wanted this night to continue, I wanted her to know she was safe here with me. I dropped my wallet and phone from my pants pockets onto the nearby desk as she watched, her expression unreadable. I then placed the hotel room key in the slot by the door which made one of the bedside lamps light up the room with a soft, muted glow.

"Smooth. Did you know you'd be picking someone up this evening?" Bella asked me, a nervous laughter in her voice. I closed the gap between our bodies and smoothed her hair off her face.

"Of course not. I used the light to put in my contacts earlier," I explained. "I don't usually do..." She shushed me with her lips before I could finish my sentence. Then she pulled back suddenly and looked me in the eyes.

"So you wear glasses?" she asked with a grin on her face.

"Usually contacts, but I wear glasses late at night and on lazy Sundays," I explained. "You?"

"Nope twenty/twenty vision," she announced proudly.

"Shame. I bet you'd look pretty hot in glasses," I told her with a chaste kiss to her lips.

"Got a secret secretary or teacher fantasy going on there?" she enquired jokingly.

"Nope. I've got all the fantasy I need right in front of me," I answered seriously as I captured her lips fully and pulled her body flush to mine. Talking about evenings and lazy Sundays with her made my mind picture her with me. Her in my life after tonight. That thought was so unexpected and surprising that I threw myself into the here and now. Here is what I needed to be thinking about, her soft lips, her soothing smell, her, just her.

I had never felt this intensity before, this raw need and desire. I wanted to hold her, touch her and explore her body all at the same time, but I couldn't draw myself away from the kiss we were enjoying.

Bella's hands moved to my face where her fingers traced over my jaw, which was moving frantically under her touch, making the kiss even more real, even more intense for both of us. She pulled away with a groan as she set to work on the remainder of my shirt buttons. I then felt her trying to slip the shirt over my shoulders so I moved my hands**—**which had made their way into her hair**—**and let her peel the shirt off my body. My shirt lay on the floor as she drew a soft breath while her eyes roamed my skin, settling quickly on my tattoo.

As soon as she'd hinted at wanting to see my chest, I'd wondered what she'd make of my tattoo. I had it done when I was eighteen so a fair few women had seen it. Most liked it, some didn't pay it any attention, but judging by Bella's expression, she liked it almost as much as I did, and I fucking love that tattoo. It's a lion on a crest**—**the Cullen crest**—**but she couldn't know the significance the lion held for me.

Bella cursed and placed her hand over my tattoo and in turn over my heart. She ran her other hand softly up my chest, from my belly button, over my abs and pecs, to my shoulder. Her eyes widened with lust as I watched her in the soft light, unconsciously licking her lips. She traced her fingers back down my chest drawing an invisible pattern over my skin and fine chest hair as I sighed in pleasure.

"Sorry," she whispered, sounding embarrassed. She stilled her hands as my sigh snapped her out of her movements.

"Bella, take your time. We have all night," I whispered, afraid to speak too loudly in case she stopped. I knew she wanted this, the way she was looking at my body and the way she looked when our eyes met..._Christ!_ I'm not sure I'd ever felt this wanted. Every guy has a chest, but she made me feel like mine was special. Like I was special. Who wouldn't love that?

"All night..." she repeated with a small nod of her head, making me think this was something she hadn't considered until now. "You're ridiculously hot, you know that right?" she whispered, making me chuckle.

"You sure make me feel that way." I'm not sure anyone had ever looked at my body the way she was looking at me right now.

Bella raised herself up on her tiptoes to plant a kiss on my collar bone. She stretched up to my neck as I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation. Her hands roamed the muscles in my neck, over my Adam's apple and up to my jaw which was freshly shaven for the wedding. She then lowered her hands to my back, caressing the muscles there while she dropped from her tiptoes and kissed my chest. She continued, soft kisses, licks and nips, making me groan and thrust into her as she gasped at the sensation.

"More," she pleaded, her voice a hot breath on my skin. I moaned**—**more than happy to oblige**—**as I thrust against her again which made her hands grip my back harder. Our breathing had intensified and was made even louder being the only noise in the room. I stepped back**—o**ne step was all I could manage before I was too far from her body from my liking**—**but it gave me enough room to fumble for the opening of her dress. _Where they hell was the zip?_ This was a minefield for men. These damn invisible zips may look nice, but they did not aid my lust filled male brain when my only thought in the world was getting this damn dress on my hotel room floor.

"Under this arm," she whispered, raising her left arm in a move that reinforced that she wanted this too.

I pulled the zip down, slowly. Well, as slowly as I could manage. I was well aware that I was torturing myself with my desire to savor this moment. My hands continued to the bottom of her dress where I scooped up the skirt portion in my hands and pulled it up. She raised both arms letting me whip the dress over her head and drop it**—**rather ungracefully for such a nice dress**—**onto the floor. Turning back to Bella I gasped and was unable to stop the curse that left my lips.

"Christ, Bella. You're so damn perfect." My brain tried to process the sight before me. Bella was left in her bra and panties. Her red lacy bra and panty set which matched her**—**now discarded**—**dress and her heels which were still very much on her feet. "Damn," I exclaimed as I kissed her again, and she gasped when the bare skin of our chests touched.

I walked her backwards to the bed, kissing her as we moved before I fell with her when her knees hit the edge of the bed and she fell backwards. I braced my landing with my arms so my body weight didn't crush her. Her shoes fell off as she scooted further up the bed. I would have mourned their loss, but the sight before me was too appealing to care. I quickly scrambled after her, hovering over her body when her head rested on a pillow and her hands found my biceps as I spoke.

"Open."

She looked me in the eyes for a few seconds before her legs silently parted, one falling either side of my waist, leaving her open for me. I groaned as I lowered my groin to meet hers, and we both gasped at our most intimate contact yet. I rocked softly against her as she made a quiet noise that I wanted to hear from her over and over, all night long. Her hair was loose and splayed over my pillow, and as I took in this sight I froze, trying to memorise this picture.

"Edward?" She whispered, one of her hands gripping my bicep harder while the other dropped to cover my tattoo. I felt it, here, with her on this bed. A connection. A puzzle piece clicking together. I didn't know this woman, but I wanted to. I wanted this time to be the first of many, but as her eyes searched mine for answers to explain my silence I cleared my throat and buried my feelings.

"Ummm...I'm clean. I'm sure you're on birth control but we should..." I started, trying to shake my previous thoughts from my mind.

"Of course. You have one?" she asked as I reluctantly moved off her and over to my duffel bag. I checked an inside pocket and found what I was looking for before turning back to see her lying on my bed waiting just for me. I pulled off both my socks and flung them down before I undid my belt and whipped down my pants. My dick had been trying to escape free since our time on the balcony so losing one layer was a blessed relief. Not to mention my skin was flushed hot with desire and exertion.

With the foil packet in my hand I resumed my position in between Bella's legs as I lowered myself this time to her breasts. I kissed the skin I could reach before I pulled at the red lace and released her hard nipple. As I flicked at it with my tongue, I used my hands to undo her bra while I prayed I wouldn't fumble at the clasp like a horny teenager. The trouble was, I was feeling a lot like a horny teenager right about now. Thankfully, I regained confidence in my abilities as her clasp unclipped easily, and I pulled her bra free from her body. Her tits were everything I'd hoped for. They were soft and warm with rock solid nipples. She gasped as I moved my attention to her other side while I felt her groin rise in search of mine.

"Soon," I whispered as she whimpered and arched her back so even more of her tit was in my face. I nipped and sucked at her offering, enjoying the noises she was producing. By now I was so turned on I was having trouble making this last. "Okay, I can't wait for _soon_," I growled as my thumbs lowered to her waist. I sat back on my knees to slowly remove her last piece of clothing, those little red panties.

She moved her legs to help me but before she lowered the second leg back down I grabbed it and ran my hand up and down the soft skin as I kissed her calf and ankle, mumbling unintelligently. "Your legs...teasing me...all damn night...never a leg man, but now..." _Jeez, she sent me wild with lust and need. _I finally lowered her leg to find her tugging at my boxers. Her fingers traced the V of my skin that led down to my last item of clothing. I grinned at her eagerness as I pulled them down and kicked them free of my legs. I studied her face as she watched my erection spring free and bob about, desperate for her attention. Her eyes widened, and my ego wanted to think she was impressed with my size, but that was only a guess because she remained silent as she reached forward and touched me. Right fucking there.

"Oh god," I breathed as she smiled and made eye contact with me.

"Can I?" she questioned as she continued to stroke me.

"Yes. Hell yes," I quickly reassured her as she stroked my bare erection while we both watched. I studied her face as she touched me. I saw a crease appear between her eyebrows as she concentrated. I watched her long eyelashes flutter when she blinked. I saw her bite her lip**—**just the edge**—**as she touched me. I watched her for as long as I could until the pleasure took over and I could no longer think straight.

"Enough," I barked out when I couldn't handle it anymore. I did not want to disappoint her. The condom talk had told me how this event would finish, and I wasn't going to blow my load early when I had the chance to get my dick wet. I took her hands and pried them off me before I raised them above her head and held them there lightly with one arm. She could break my hold if she chose to, but she didn't. I ran my hands slowly down her arms, taking the time to savour her body**—**all of it. My hands continued onto her shoulders, over her soft breasts, where one hand stayed, while the other carried on, over her ribs and hips before I lowered it to her opening. I touched her gently and softly as she gasped a quick breath.

"Please, more..." She was quiet in her request. I tried to take my time, but I was so deliciously turned on that I couldn't take as much time as I wanted. I lowered my hand right to where she wanted my fingers and was rewarded with a long, soft, moan.

"Fuck, that's so good," I exclaimed as soon as I made contact. She was wet, soft and warm. _Oh and did I mention so damn wet? _Her arousal was right there for me to see, and the evidence of what I did to her, the knowledge that it was me who turned her on, that was empowering and exciting. Feelings I hadn't felt in a long time. I stroked over her folds and smiled at the moans she released as her back arched and her legs fell open impossibly wider.

"So beautiful," I murmured as my thumb found her nub, and she closed her eyes in pleasure.

"Uh uh," I lightly scolded. "Watch." She opened her eyes again and stared at me before she slowly lowered her eyes to watch my fingers and thumb tease at her entrance.

"So good," she breathed. By now my dick was bobbing furiously against her leg, and when I tore my eyes away from her entrance long enough to look at her, I saw her holding out the condom to me.

She watched in fascination as I rolled it on and positioned myself in between her legs. My knees nudged at her thighs as I encouraged her to spread her legs wide again. A second later my dick was at her entrance. I looked up to her eyes as she nodded to me. A subtle nod which would usually go unnoticed, but here**—**in a world where only the two of us existed**—**that small nod was everything. It was all the encouragement I needed. I used a hand to line myself up before I slowly eased my way in. Fuck she was tight. I knew when she felt it too because she gasped at my movement.

"Okay?" I checked as I paused part way in, concerned I was hurting her.

"Yes...more," she breathed out as I grinned and pushed in deeper. So much deeper until I couldn't go any deeper.

"So tight," I mumbled as I pulled back and thrust forward, watching her tits bounce with my movements.

"Yes...again," she told me in a light whisper as her hands gripped my biceps, and she tightened her legs around me.

"You want more?" I teased, thrusting several times, slowly in and out, while she moaned.

"Faster," she demanded, louder this time. I obeyed, willing to give her whatever she needed to tip her over the edge. I tore my eyes from her elated face to the place where our bodies joined. Fuck that was erotic, watching my dick leave her, slick with moisture, before it disappeared back inside, accompanied by a moan before I withdrew again...and again...and again...

"Can you feel me, Bella? You feel this...us?" My voice sounded husky and deep even to my ears.

My thrusting continued as my thighs and arms started to feel the burn of my exertion, but as the burn continued I concentrated on how good the rest of my body was feeling.

"Yes, close. So close" she breathed, making me look up at her and see the pleasure on her face.

"Yeah?" I picked up the pace and pistoned into her even faster, deeper, and harder.

"You're going to make me come, just you..." she whispered. I felt her legs lose their grip on me before she bent them and brought her knees up above her waist.

"Fuck yes. Oh God, Bella," I screamed as the change in angle sent me hurtling towards my release. I felt her grip my biceps tighter in anticipation of her own climax. My arms were straining, muscles coiling with the effort of holding my body up but Bella seemed to like this position. She held my arms, gripping them tightly as I continued my thrusts.

"Edward...please..." her voice was breathy and quiet, a whisper in the muted light, but her hands continued to grip my biceps solidly as I continued my thrusts.

"Me too," I grunted as I felt her tighten around me.

"Yes, yes, oh yes," she breathed out as her climax triggered my own. And right then and there, I felt it, I felt her.

I thrust forward several more times before I stilled as my body pulsed in delight.

We both remind still, glowing in our pleasure, until I felt her iron grip on my arms finally loosen. Our heavy breathing was now the only sound in the room.

"Christ. Just wow," I whispered when I'd regained my senses.

We both regulated our breathing as I looked down at her, revelling in how natural she looked and how her soft skin shone in the muted light of the room. I hadn't realized that I'd been stroking her thigh with my thumb, slowly back and forth as we both calmed down.

I knew I had to move first so I tilted slowly back on my knees, easing out, holding the condom as Bella let go of my arms. I turned and sat on the edge of the bed while she moved her legs and pulled the bed sheets up to cover her body, no doubt feeling rather self-conscious now.

"I hope...I mean, Bella, I wanted that. I..." She sat up holding the sheets**—**rather unnecessarily**—**to her chest as she leaned toward me and silenced me with a soft kiss to my shoulder.

"Edward, I wanted that too," she confirmed while I grinned at her.

"Good. I'll be right back," I told her while I stood and headed for the bathroom where I disposed of the condom and cleaned up.

On my way back into the room I found a pair of boxers and slipped them on before I looked over at the bed. Bella was still wrapped in the sheet, her hair splayed wildly on the pillow and her feet, complete with red nail polished toes, were poking out of a gap in the sheet.

Now that some of the lust had been exercised from my body, I expected to calm down and stop seeing this woman as some sort of siren calling me to her without even trying. However, looking at her in bed, I knew my feelings hadn't changed. I still wanted her, although, given I wasn't a teenager anymore I'd need more turnaround time before that was a possibility. Her hair looked as soft as I now knew it felt, and the red nail polish on her cute toes matched the red of her discarded shoes and dress.

_Wait...what?_ _Since when did I find a woman's toes cute? Err, never_. This was all new to me. I shook my head and turned from her towards the fridge located in the desk structure of the room.

"Drink?" I offered holding up a bottle of water. I sure needed the refreshment myself after our activities.

"Thanks." She watched me as I settled on the bed next to her with two bottles and handed her one. We sipped our water in awkward silence. Conversation had come so easily to us earlier, but now I was at a lost about what to say.

Bella recapped her bottle and set it on the bedside cabinet.

"I'll just..." she nodded to the bathroom as she rose, clutching the sheet to her body as she walked. Mid-way there she stopped and turned back to me, catching me staring at her. She met my eyes with a shy grin before she continued to the bathroom.

While Bella was gone, I ran my hands through my hair and tried to regain my composure. I glanced at the clock, it was really late now and tiredness from the long day**—**emotionally and physically**—**was hitting me. I closed my eyes and felt the scratch of my contacts that told me it was beyond time to take them out. As the bathroom was occupied, I used a mirror on the wall which had a strong bar light on the top and removed my contacts. They were disposable anyway so I ditched them in the trash and found my glasses on top of a book I'd unpacked earlier. I located my phone and plugged it in to charge before I sat back on the bed and sipped my water again.

I heard the bathroom door open with a click and Bella**—**wearing one of the hotel bathrobes**—**exited towards me. Her hair was smoothed down now and she seemed slightly nervous again. She glanced at me, pausing as she took in my appearance. I was still shirtless, still with chaotic hair but now wearing my black framed glasses. Her eyes roamed my chest and face, but I couldn't read her expression in the dim light. She seemed to be studying me, memorising the sight before she shook her head and clutched the robe closer to her body.

"I should..." she nodded to the door, "...go. I need a cab, and it's pretty late," she added, her eyes frantically roaming the floor for her clothes and belongings.

"You can't go now," I gasped, scaring myself with the realization of how much I didn't want her to leave.

"I can't stay," she told me as I leapt up and hunted for a clean T-shirt in my duffel bag.

"Sure you can. It's too late for a cab, besides it's not safe," I told her over my shoulder. _Fuck I had to have a clean top in here somewhere. _

"But staying in a stranger's hotel room is?" _Thank fuck._ I found a T-shirt and pulled it out of the duffel bag before I turned to her.

"I'm not a stranger. I'm Edward. Tanya's cousin. I'd say we're quite well acquainted now," I told her, trying to add some humour into our strained conversation.

"Still..." she protested weakly.

"Please Bella. There's plenty of room. You can wear this." I dropped the clean T-shirt onto the bed. "Come on, you don't want to go out at this time of night, and we know the bed is comfy!" I teased as I lay back on the very comfortable bed and crossed my arms and legs. I wanted her to stay, but I couldn't be too forceful about it.

"It is comfy," she conceded with a grin, watching when I patted the empty side. "You're sure you want me to stay?"

"Very."

"Well then...close your eyes," she told me, making me scoff.

"Why?"

"So I can get changed," she reasoned.

"Bella, I've just seen you naked. How much more can you take off?" She rolled her eyes as I stared at her, letting her know I'd be watching when that robe fell. Her following blush was adorable especially when she bit her lip while she contemplated her options.

"Fine," she huffed as she pulled the belt on her robe and it fell open which once again revealed her creamy skin to me. She slid the robe off her shoulders and let it fall to the floor while I took in the sight of her magnificent tits. From this angle, where she was stood up, they looked even more amazing. They were full and pert, and her nipples were still hard.

"Christ," I mumbled as she laughed, making me snap my eyes to hers, realizing I'd been staring.

"Have a little problem there, mister?" She joked nodding to my groin. It was then I realized I didn't need as much turnaround time as I'd previously believed. _Jesus, this woman_! I merely grinned, shrugged in response and pouted slightly when she dropped my T-shirt over her head and smoothed it over her chest. I watched it fall to her mid thighs as she retrieved her panties and slipped into them.

"I just need to..." She muttered, pulling her phone from her handbag.

"Sure." I nodded, looking at her soft skin and flushed complexion as she tapped away on her phone, presumably sending a text. She then placed it to one side while I removed my glasses and placed them on my bedside table in preparation for sleep. Bella joined me in bed, shimmying under the soft covers.

"Do you always sleep topless?"

She surprised me with her random question. "Err...yeah. Unless it's crazy cold. I don't like to be hot at night." Bella was studying me, paying a lot of attention to my answer. She nodded, apparently satisfied with my response. We fell into silence then before she rested her head on the pillow and spoke again.

"Your glasses suit you," she commented, snuggling further down in the bed while I reached over and turned off the last remaining light.

"Thanks," I scoffed, pretty sure she was just placating me. I'd never felt comfortable in my glasses, hence the contacts.

"They do. You look adorable," she added as she stifled a yawn.

"Adorable? Bella, I'm pretty sure it's illegal to call a guy adorable in the hour after sleeping with him," I joked, hearing her sleepy laugh in response to my words.

"Fine. They make you look like a macho muscle man, better?" I lay down on my pillow facing her, noticing her eyes were already closed.

"Much," I confirmed.

"You shouldn't feel bad about being adorable though, because you don't really need the glasses to look macho. The abs and tattoo do that for you," she mumbled, causing me to grin even though I knew she couldn't see me.

"Sleep, Bella," I dropped a kiss on her hair and she mumbled a soft goodnight as I too tried to sleep.

However, I needed to calm my body down first. It had been a while since I'd shared a bed with a woman, and I was torn. Part of me wanted to ravage her body and repeat our earlier activities, but the other part of me wanted to smell her hair, hold her close to me, and savor her curves and soft warm skin. In reality I didn't dare do either with Bella so I settled into the bed further as she leaned into me and rested a palm on my chest, right over my tattoo. I stroked her fingers and felt her smooth legs settle next to mine under the covers.

It was unusual for me to fall asleep with a woman like this. It wasn't that I hadn't done it before; it had just been a long time since I'd done it with any meaning and real feelings. As I grew more tired I tried not to overanalyze my feelings. I'd wake in the morning and exchange numbers with Bella and we'd take it from there. There was no need for me to decide anything right now.

I felt Bella next to me, her breathing falling into a soft rhythm which told me she was now asleep. With her rhythmic breathing and soft warm body close to mine, I too relaxed into sleep.

**Thanks to anyone who has read this. Please let me know what you think.**

**I can be contacted on Twitter: KoalaLouWrites**

**Until next time…**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: As I stepped into the elevator, I could feel my heart rate increase. I was hoping against hope that Bella would appear when the doors opened.

**A/N: I don't own Twilight or its characters; they belong to Stephanie Meyer. This is just what they got up to in my mind.**

**The song for this chapter is "Lost Without You" by Delta Goodrem**

I stirred awake, slowly blinking my eyes as I became aware of the bright light flowing into my hotel room. I smiled remembering why I hadn't got around to drawing the curtains last night. I'd slept like a log, not stirring once. Maybe that's what a good fuck will do to a guy. I was facing the middle of the bed, but when I stretched my arms and opened my eyes fully, I quickly realized the other side of the bed was empty.

I was alone.

"What the hell?" I grumbled out loud.

I squinted while my eyes adjusted to the light, and I spotted a note on the pillow previously occupied by Bella. I shot up in bed and grabbed it, seeing the outline of a kiss in red lipstick on the lined paper.

I turned the note over and saw nothing.

_What?! _

She couldn't have left...just left.

I leapt from the bed and raced to the bathroom.

Empty.

I turned back to the room, spotting my t-shirt which Bella had worn last night. It was folded neatly and placed under my glasses on the bedside table, somewhere she knew I'd find it. I sprinted to it and picked it up, shaking it furiously, hoping to find a note or something. There was nothing. I sat on the edge of the bed and ran my hands through my hair as I rehashed last night in my mind.

Had she really left? Maybe she went for coffee or some shit?

I scanned the hotel room and noticed her clothes were gone. Well, no surprise there. She wouldn't go for coffee naked, would she! The thought of coffee made me think of breakfast. Maybe she had just gone to the breakfast buffet Emmett had been banging on about yesterday. He's always thinking of food and for the first time ever I was glad of that.

I pulled on the jeans I'd left resting on a chair when I'd changed into my suit, then picked up a t-shirt and sniffed the armpits. Nope, that wouldn't do. I rummaged around some more and found a spare shirt, thankful it was quite casual and would go with my jeans. I pulled it on, knowing I should have taken a shower first, especially after last night's activities, but that would have to wait until after breakfast. Otherwise Bella could be gone before I got there.

I used the bathroom, gathered my phone, wallet and room key and buttoned up my shirt. I added my glasses to my ensemble, not risking the time it would take to sort a new pair of contacts. After a quick elevator ride, I raced into the bustling hotel dining room.

I soon spotted Emmett waving to me. I waved back, acknowledging him, but I kept looking around. There were plenty of people sitting at tables chatting or in a line for food, but as for Bella, I couldn't see her anywhere. I made my way over to Emmett, who was by now giving me a confused look.

"You okay, bro?" he asked, a loaded fork of food pausing on its way to his mouth.

"Yeah, yeah, just looking for someone," I mumbled, sitting on the empty chair opposite him and acknowledging the rest of my family. Rosalie was on one side of Emmett, Dad was on the other side with Mom next to him. Alice and Jasper were further down the table, feeding a rather grubby-looking JJ a spoonful of what looked vaguely like smushed banana.

"That hot chick friend you made last night?" Emmett mumbled through a mouthful of toast. As I looked at him, he waggled his eyebrows, and Dad looked up from buttering his toast to raise his own eyebrows at me.

"Em…" I grumbled in a warning tone.

"What?" he objected. "I saw you two together. Well, just the back of her head as she disappeared. I couldn't find you after that."

"Em. Seriously." My tone was much angrier than before.

"Are you not eating, son?" Dad asked me, no doubt trying to defuse an imminent argument between my brother and me. Raising twin boys taught him all the warning signs of confrontation, and his approach had always been to avoid it even starting.

"Umm, yeah, I guess I'll eat." I didn't feel hungry. I should after the exercise I'd had last night. However, the unwelcome emotions of this morning were making me feel more sick than anything.

"Glasses?" Emmett questioned, still irritating me.

"Yeah, Dad always says to rest your eyes, give them a few days off the contacts."

My Dad smiled up at me with a familiar softness in his eyes. "I didn't think you listened to my preaching, son?" he teased good-naturedly.

I noticed Emmett's doubtful look at me. He didn't believe that, even if Dad did.

"Yeah well, you're a doctor. You must know what you're talking about," I told him absently as I scanned the room again. There were so many people here; maybe I'd just missed her the first time I looked.

"Might not be any food left if you don't hurry," Emmett pointed out as he picked up his empty plate and stood. His words plucked me out of my thoughts. "This buffet is my nemesis. I will defeat it!" He walked toward the line of food at the back of the room and I followed.

Emmett and I both picked up fresh plates and moved along the line. He piled on a spoon of everything. I wasn't surprised given I'd yet to find any type of food he didn't like. I, however, was still scanning the room. Bella had to be here. The alternative was that she had left altogether and I wasn't ready to face that reality yet.

There were so many familiar faces from last night. There was the girl who caught the bouquet, and there was another who had been wearing a rather short and low-cut dress, not a good combination for a wedding, but no Bella. It then dawned on me that Bella would have no fresh clothes to wear to breakfast. She'd left my t-shirt in my room and was unlikely to come to breakfast in last night's dress. Therefore the chances were that she was gone.

"So did you seal the deal?" Emmett asked as I turned to him.

"Err, yeah, we…yeah," I confirmed, turning my attention to the food in front of me. I added a few items to my plate while Emmett continued.

"So where is she now?"

I shrugged, busying myself with my food so I didn't have to look at my brother.

"She did a fuck and duck?" His voice was nonchalant as he eyed the sausages in front of us.

"What? No, well...I don't know. I thought she'd be here, but...I guess not." I tried to sound and appear indifferent to this morning's events.

"Score, bro, way to avoid the awkward morning after!" He grinned at me, no doubt contemplating a high-five but not willing to let go of his plate of food long enough to do it. "Did she stay the night?"

"Kind of. She was there when we fell asleep then gone by morning."

"Sounds like a good result to me." Emmett grinned at me, looking impressed.

"What?" I asked, confused as to why he was so pleased for me.

"Come on, man. You know how much I love Rosie, but I have to live vicariously through my single brother sometimes, and this is one of those times," he explained. "So what was she like?"

"You didn't see her?"

"Nope. Just you drooling as she walked away. Fine ass, though," Emmett complimented.

"Yeah well, that isn't all that's fine about her."

Emmett barked out a laugh as I remembered my night with Bella. Her body, her moans, our moans mixed together in the soft light of the room.

"So, if you want to find her again then she must have been good, right?" We reached the end of the food line, which was just as well because I doubted Emmett could fit anything else on his plate.

"Drop it, Em. You know I'll get a speech from Mom if this gets out."

"Edward, son, when are you going to settle down? JJ and Seth need more cousins, and you know I want grandbabies from all my children," Emmett mocked in a high squeaky voice, finally getting a smile out of me.

"Yeah, that's how it goes." I rolled my eyes at the reminder. We both loved our family dearly, but we were also aware that this speech from our mother wasn't a joke to her. She really wanted us to have families of our own. That said, I was pretty sure she didn't want to hear about my love life at the breakfast table.

"Well, how did she know Tanya or Eleazar?" he asked me as we set our plates down and reached for glasses for our drinks.

"I don't know," I told him honestly.

"Well maybe call Tanya and ask who she was," Emmett suggested as he held up a jug of orange juice, questioning whether I wanted any.

"Oh sure, I'll just call my cousin, on her honeymoon, and ask how she or her new husband knows the woman I slept with at their wedding reception!" My voice was heavy with sarcasm. Emmett nodded as he poured my drink.

"Hmmm yeah, maybe call after the honeymoon! Did you get her name at least? We could look her up, Facebook and stuff?"

"Umm…there are probably a lot of Bella's on Facebook," I mumbled as we picked up our trays again.

"Bella what?"

"I don't know." Emmett's eyebrows shot up his forehead. "Hey, don't judge me."

"Dude! I didn't think you had it in you. That's a real one night stand if you didn't even get her full name!" He was strangely proud of me.

"Em, we may be twins but it's weird that you're so pleased for me about this!"

"I'm just pleased you're living a little," he told me, prompting me to roll my eyes. "You needed to get laid."

"Hey, it's easy for you. You have it on tap, us singles have to work for a bit of ass."

"Try committing to a relationship then!" Emmett advised.

"I think it's becoming increasingly obvious that she didn't want this to turn into a relationship."

"Guess so. You don't seem too happy about that though, bro," he pointed out as we finally started walking back to our table.

His words made me scoff. No, I wasn't particularly happy. Bella had been fun and beautiful, and I got the impression last night was out of the ordinary for her. I'll admit I assumed she would be there in the morning wanting my number and a date. I was confused by her absence. My ego felt bruised, but according to my brother it was a good thing I'd had a night of fun with no consequences. _Huh, why didn't it feel that way?_

I was pulled from my thoughts by my Mom's voice when I sat back down at the table.

"Did you sleep well, love?" she asked me innocently, making Emmett snort into his glass of orange juice. I rested my knife and fork on my plate while I tried to school my features into a neutral expression.

"Yeah, thanks, Mom, I did."

"Good. Not many people can sleep well in a strange bed, but you two boys..." She paused and shook her head fondly. "You could always sleep anywhere, anytime. I was always catching one of you asleep in the toy box or the empty bathtub when you were toddlers. Emmett fell asleep on the toilet one time." She laughed shaking her head. "Such sweet boys."

"Not so sweet and innocent now," Emmett mumbled around his mouthful of food, looking at me.

"Good job I have Seth and JJ then!" Mom joked.

"Hey, Mom, have Tanya and Eleazar left already?" I asked, trying to deflect any mention of the fact that I hadn't given her any grandchildren yet because I knew that dig was coming. I was hoping to sound causal, but Emmett saw straight through me and only stopped grinning manically when Rosalie elbowed him in the ribs.

"You missed them. They left pretty early for their flight." As usual my mom's voice was soft and warm when delivering news I didn't want to hear.

"There seems to be a lot of that going on this morning," Emmett teased, looking at me as I groaned, knowing Dad was watching our exchange. "What?" Emmett questioned. "I meant while my beautiful wife and I had an overnight babysitter for our son, we too chose to get up early and enjoy this wonderful day," he said, over exaggerating his words as Rosalie laughed at him.

"Sure, that's what you meant. You just got up early for the food!" I joked with him before he conceded that I was right.

Mercifully, my family started to talk about their plans for the rest of the day. All I had to do was finish breakfast, check out of my room and drive home. As this didn't involve any thought, it left my mind free to wander. The more I thought about Bella leaving, the angrier I was getting. My initial anger at waking up alone was dampened by the hope that Bella was still in the hotel. But as I continually scanned the busy room, it was becoming obvious this wasn't the case.

I knew I shouldn't be so affected by her, she had never promised me anything. I was kicking myself for letting my heart get involved so quickly, especially when it was becoming clear that Bella had decided I wasn't worth pursuing; presumably she'd received what she wanted from me and was done.

My internal brooding didn't go unnoticed by my perceptive parents, who asked me several times throughout breakfast if I was okay. I don't think my replies convinced them that I was fine, probably because I wasn't, but I couldn't talk about this yet. It was too raw. I finished my meal and said goodbye to my family. I made eye contact with Emmett who was looking at me knowingly. I knew I'd face questions from him tomorrow at the office, but for now I was leaving.

I headed back to my hotel room, taking the same route as last night, reminding me of snatched kisses, fumbling hands and quiet moans.

As I stepped into the elevator, I could feel my heart rate increase. I was hoping against hope that Bella would appear when the doors opened.

She didn't.

Hoping she would be waiting for me outside my door.

She wasn't.

Hoping that she'd slipped a note under the door for me.

She hadn't.

I threw my belongings into my duffel bag, wrestled my suit into the carrier, and scooped up my toiletries. I didn't bother to shower, shave or change. That could wait until I was home. I retrieved my sock from under the bed and last night's boxers from under the haphazard sheets, all reminders I didn't need. Being in this room was reminder enough. I grabbed the T-shirt Bella had worn and, resisting the desire to smell it, to remind myself she was real, I threw it rather unceremoniously into my duffel bag.

Once I was packed, I took one last look at the room. I was pretty sure I'd be remembering it in my mind's eye for a while yet. I checked out with no issues and started the drive home, choosing to listen to a podcast, knowing music would leave me time to think and I didn't want that right now.

The rest of my Sunday was quiet. I unpacked, did a load of laundry, avoided several calls from my brother, and prepared some papers for a work meeting the next day. I finally had a shower in the evening once I realized I'd been putting it off. Washing my skin felt like I was washing off the last traces of Bella and I wasn't ready to do that. However, a quick sniff or my armpits told me I had no choice, so I berated myself for acting so stupid and tried to enjoy the massaging qualities of the hot water on my skin.

Once in bed, I turned to the empty side. The sight had never made me feel lonely before, but now, looking at the empty half of the bed, I knew something was missing.

Someone was missing.

ooooooOOOOOOoooooo

Running a business with my twin brother sure had its advantages. We knew how the other person thought, so we were able to work like a well-oiled machine.

Emmett and I had set up our architecture firm, Cullen Brothers, shortly after graduating college. We were young, but we were driven and had a shared love of business mixed with creativity. We'd always competed over whose Lego building was the strongest, whose tree house design would actually work, and whose bedroom layout was best. Once we figured out we worked better together than competing against each other, we threw our energy into architecture degrees. We busted our balls during the first years of our business, but we eventually found our feet and were now quite well known in Seattle. We had regular customers who kept the business ticking over, as well as new clients to keep the creative sides of our brains sharp.

I loved working with Emmett. It gave me extra drive to know I was working for my family and to know the profits were going to my sister-in-law, my nephew, and my future. It also meant there was no competition for commission on winning clients, only brotherly rivalry, which our secretaries sometimes argued was worse.

However, there were also definite disadvantages to our arrangement. Seeing your brother and being unable to avoid him when you really didn't want to talk to him was one of them.

That was the situation I was in the next day when I arrived at our offices. I walked quickly past my secretary, Mrs Cope. She knew better than to bombard me with work before I'd hung up my suit jacket and poured my first cup of coffee. However, Emmett's secretary, Mrs Banner, was more fearless.

Both ladies were older than the secretary stereotype. In fact they were both friends of our Mom, which is how they came to work for us. A few young, flirty secretaries who thought it would be okay to hit on me—their boss, and Emmett—their very married boss, had caused nothing but distraction and embarrassment. When they inevitably turned their flirting to the clients, Emmett and I changed tack and hired two older women. Mrs Cope and Mrs Banner were well qualified for the job of keeping us two in line and usually did so with a nice dose of motherly love. Sylvia and Judy, as we called them when there were no clients around, were great with work matters and knew where to draw the line with gossip.

However, today Mrs Banner was clearly following Emmett's strict orders to accost me as soon as I walked in the door.

"Your brother wanted a word with you before he heads out for the Cartel meeting," she informed me as I stopped my hasty walk past her desk and turned to her. "I know, I know, you need your morning coffee first. I'm just following orders. Don't shoot the messenger please." I softened my face and managed to grin at her. "I'm only passing the message on so early because he said it was urgent. He looked quite worried, actually."

"Oh, he's worried alright. Worried he won't get any gossip out of me." I tapped her desk and turned to leave again. "He gossips more than two secretaries at an architecture firm!" I shouted as I walked down the corridor to my office, listening to the ladies laughing behind me.

Once inside, I closed my office door and clicked on my coffee machine as I moved around, opening blinds, turning on my computer and hanging up my suit jacket.

"Bro, I can hear you in there." My brother's voice boomed into the room as he opened the door.

"Good. Now you know how easy it is for me to hear you in your office when Rose visits." To his credit, he didn't even blush as he stepped into the room.

"One time, dude, you know I'm normally professional. It's just she was wearing the bra that makes her—"

"La la la. No more details please." I covered my ears in an attempt to limit my knowledge of my sister-in-law's breasts.

"You should try it. These desks are quite strong." I rolled my eyes at him as I took a seat behind my desk and he sat on the sofa which graced one wall of my office.

"Remind me never to swap furniture with you!" I joked, making him scoff.

"So, I know you don't want to talk to me, avoiding my calls last night told me that," he started as he sat forward and rested his elbows on his knees. This was a stance I knew well; it meant he was being serious now.

"But you're going to try anyway?" I raised one eyebrow at him.

"I just wondered if you'd found her, that's all."

"Do you think I'd be so chipper this morning if I had?"

"True. You are a particularly bad shade of cranky right now, so I guess that was a stupid question." Emmett conceded while I turned to my coffee maker, willing it to brew quicker.

"So, we're done here?"

"You wish, Eddie," he teased as I lowered my head and ran my hands through my hair. "Dude, I just want to help you find her."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Ed, man, you're my twin. I know you. I can tell you wanted more with her. For all my joking and assing around, I just want to see you happy."

"Em, she left," I told him as I stood and turned again to my godforsaken coffee machine. "She. Left. Me," I reiterated, louder this time as Emmett stood up too. "I'm pretty sure that speaks volumes for what she thinks of me," I shouted as my fist connected with the filing cabinet next to the coffee machine.

"Hey, calm down."

"I don't want to calm down. I want to forget this past weekend. And I want a fucking coffee," I swore as Emmett approached me and looked down at my now throbbing fist.

"Take it easy." He spoke in a calm tone. Despite his jovial, loud nature, Emmett was always able to calm me down when we were kids. He managed to maintain his cool when I lost mine. "I just thought you'd want to find her," he reiterated as I cradled my fist.

"I did. I thought we connected, but obviously not. The more I think about it, the more pissed I get. She fucking left. Plenty of people have had one night stands. We both know I'm not a saint, Em, but I've never left without talking in the morning."

"Well, there might be a reason for that."

"Yeah, like a husband."

"You think she's married?" Emmett sounded confused as his eyebrows shot up.

"I don't know what to think," I confessed as I slumped back in my chair. "I've considered all sorts of reasons. She's married, she's some sort of escaped nun, or just a fucking good actress who fooled me into thinking she was a nice person. Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter. I'll never know the truth because she left and didn't want to see me again." I watched the black coffee dripping slowly, too damn slowly, into the jug.

"Escaped nun?" Emmett guffawed as I too grinned, realizing my words were rather far-fetched.

"That's priceless, Eddie. She must have really liked you to break her nunhood or whatever it's called." He laughed while I looked at his amused expression and laughed myself.

"Nunhood! Trust you to make it dirty."

"Hey, don't call me dirty. You fucked a nun!" Emmett exclaimed as his laughter calmed down. "Seriously, bro, isn't it more likely that she just left to avoid an awkward conversation in the morning?" he suggested with a faint laugh still in his words.

"I guess so," I conceded, flexing my fist, the pain having dropped to a dull ache.

"Does she know your details? She might contact you."

I thought back to that night, the things we'd talked about and any information I'd learnt about her.

"We didn't talk about anything personal. No last names, no jobs, nothing about her family. It wasn't a conscious decision, not for me anyway. We just talked about other things, but maybe she was deliberately being vague with me."

"So Tanya and Eleazar are your only link?"

I nodded. "Yeah, but I'm not interrupting their honeymoon."

"I'm sure they'd be fine with you sending one text."

"Em, she could have left me her details. She didn't. She could contact me. She hasn't. I'm going to take the hint," I informed him as his shoulders slumped.

"Bro, there's nothing wrong with going after what you want. What have you got to lose?" The seriousness in his voice made me look over to him.

"My pride. My dignity. My self-respect," I listed off as he scoffed at me.

"Well, you enjoy sleeping next to your pride in bed. And I hope your self-respect provides you with companionship when you're old. And who knows, your dignity might well build a family with you one day," he answered me sarcastically.

"Ok, _Dad_, I get your point." I groaned as he raised his eyebrows at me.

"Do you? I'm serious. Take a risk. Love doesn't come easy."

"Love!" I'm pretty sure I was looking at Emmett like he had two heads. "I've just met her!"

"I know. I'm not saying you love her, but I've never seen you like this. If I was talking to Ben or Jared, I'd think you just want to find her because she had nice tits and put out on the first night." I scoffed as my brother continued. "But you can't hide from me. You're only angry and upset because you're hurt."

"Thanks, _Freud,_ but I'll survive. Plenty more fish in the sea and all that." Emmett sighed a heavy sigh aimed at me. He clearly didn't believe my attempt at nonchalance. "Gah! Fucking coffee. I can't wait any longer." I stood and patted my pockets to confirm I had my wallet. "Lock up, can you?" I asked as I walked out the door, giving him no choice. "Good luck with Cartel," I shouted back at him as I strode down the corridor, past the surprised faces of Judy and Sylvia, and into the lift.

When I returned with my blessed coffee, Emmett was gone and I was finally able to get down to work. He returned just after lunch to inform me Cartel were happy with our design and, bar a few tweaks, we were good to go. He didn't mention Bella or my foul mood, for which I was grateful. He did however turn up in my office mid-afternoon and throw an ice pack at my crotch, making me look at him questioningly.

"Your hand's swelling." He sounded exasperated.

"Bit late now, isn't it?"

"I don't know. Dad's the doctor, not me. Can't do any harm though," he reasoned as I placed the ice pack on my hand to appease him. He nodded at me and turned to leave, but then turned back to me.

"So, Mom's got Seth tonight. Rose and I are going for drinks with friends. That girl will be there. What's her name? Tammy? Toni?"

"Tia?" I offered helpfully, knowing exactly who he meant.

"Yeah. The one that always tries to hump your leg when she's had too much wine."

Like I needed reminding of her. She was shameless. The last time I saw her, she climbed on my lap as she tried to "see how shiny those crown jewels are." I shuddered at the memory.

"You make it sound so tempting, Em," I deadpanned as he grinned at me.

"Come on," he encouraged. "I'll ask Rosie to invite some more friends, girls you haven't met before."

"Em, my hand's sore and we've got Cartel to finalize," I said with a shake of my head. Neither was a good enough excuse to bail. He knew that too, and saw right through me.

"Sure, whatever," he conceded as he turned again and left. He was pissed but he'd get over it. We never stayed angry at each other for long.

**Thanks to anyone who has read this. Please let me know what you think. Also, thank you to those who have taken the time to write a review, your words are very much appreciated.**

**A huge thanks to The Fic Sisters. They have featured this story on their lovely website ****and generally given me a very warm welcome into the fandom.**

**Thank you to my shiny new beta Lellabeth. I'm truly honored that she would give up her time to beta this little story.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: "Err no. I'm not offering you my bucks, Eddie. I meant condoms!"

**A/N: I don't own Twilight or its characters; they belong to Stephanie Meyer. This is just what they got up to in my mind.**

The next couple of weeks passed slowly for me. They consisted of work, being teased by Emmett and the occasional (or if I'm being honest, regular) thoughts and reminders of Bella.

The smell of Rosalie's Mojito on a night out for her birthday reminded me of the taste of Bella's kisses. A client's red heels distracted me for a whole two hour meeting, and an email from an Isabella West had my heartbeat racing until I realized she was an advertising executive enquiring about one of our designs. I should have been happy for the custom, but I couldn't mask my disappointment that it wasn't _my_ Bella making contact.

Thankfully, Emmett didn't directly broach the subject of Bella again, though when I passed on nights out, he gave me a knowing look and shook his head at me. And when a client's PA asked for my number and I told her to call my secretary, Emmett apologized to her for my ignorance, slapped the back of my head and told me she'd been flirting with me all morning, and if I had my mind clear I might have noticed.

I thought I'd feel better as time passed. Bella would become a distant memory and I'd meet someone else, someone who would actually want a whole relationship with me. I reasoned that there was a good chance I'd built Bella up in my head. Was she really as captivating and attractive as I remembered?

I believed that my best option was to move the hell on and to forget all about Bella. She sure seemed to have no trouble forgetting about me.

However, that theory wasn't working so well for me. Any woman I met, I compared to Bella. When I was home alone I found myself thinking about her, about what she was doing and who she was with. I knew I was acting out of character, but it was Bella's face I saw at night when I finally fell asleep. It was memories of our night together that I dreamed of. It was her face that I searched for everywhere I went, around every street corner, in every coffee shop line and at any bar Emmett managed to drag me to.

One evening when I was particularly fed up of being unable to forget Bella, I grabbed a beer, clicked on my iPad and settled on the sofa. I gave in and searched Tanya's Facebook friends.

She was friends a lot of people. Well, she was _Facebook_ friends with a lot of people. I thought of those as two different things. I had to scroll through all her friends, as I didn't have a surname to narrow down my search. She was friends with quite a few Isabellas and Bellas and while some had pictures of themselves, there were still a lot with non-descript profile pictures and enough privacy settings that I couldn't rule them in or out. Frustrated, I trawled through Tanya's photos wondering if Bella would be there. However, there were hundreds of photos and after viewing the thumbnails of all of them, I hadn't seen Bella. I closed the Facebook app and took a long pull of my beer while I considered my next move.

I could contact Tanya and try to subtly ask her about Bella, but the thought of that conversation didn't appeal to me at all. Tanya wasn't known for her tact, and the prospect of her chewing my ass off for messing with her friends was something I'd avoid if I could.

I could contact all the Isabellas and Bellas who were possibly her, but it would be difficult and embarrassing explaining the situation to them in a message.

Besides, I was still reluctant to go down this route.

Bella could find me if she wanted. I, unlike some of these Isabellas, had a proper profile picture and I was friends with both Tanya and Eleazar on Facebook. Bella had a means to find me and hadn't used it. I was getting angry again as I thought about the whole situation. I clicked off my iPad, downed the rest of my beer and headed for bed.

My empty bed.

ooooooOOOOOOoooooo

Three weeks had passed since Tanya's wedding and it was now Monday morning. I knew Tanya and Eleazar would be back from their honeymoon by now but I was determined not to contact them. I was sticking firmly to my belief that Bella could contact me and chose not to. However, Emmett didn't seem to agree with my logic. He was currently in my office, standing in front of the door, glaring at me.

"You're such a stubborn bastard sometimes." Emmett wasn't holding back today. "Just call Tanya. If you won't, I will. I'm fed up of you moping around over this chick."

"I'm not moping," I objected as Emmett glared at me. I knew that look; he was losing his patience with me now.

"Don't lie to me, Ed, 'cause I swear I'll do this." He reached in his pocket for his cell phone.

"Em, we aren't fifteen anymore. You don't need to whisper to some girl that your brother likes her friend." I groaned.

"Call her or I'm setting you up on a date with hump girl, Tia."

Was he serious? Apparently so. He started tapping the phone's screen for our cousin's number.

"Emmett!" I growled, swiping at him as he held the phone over his head. "Seriously!" I shouted, demanding he put his phone away. However, the phone must have been on speaker because the sound of ringing filled the room. "Fuck, Em," I repeated as he grinned at me, gloating before his grin dropped as Tanya's answerphone message kicked in and I sighed in relief. That was until Emmett spoke into the phone.

"Cuz, I hope your honeymoon was bonktastic. Call me or Edward, he needs to ask you about one of your hot friends." Emmett hung up with a triumphant, over exaggerated tap on the phone's screen.

"Em, how old are you?"

"Twelve minutes older than you," he announced gleefully. "You'll thank me one day when Bella's bouncing on your balls," he said, re-pocketing his phone.

"Bro, if that ever happens, it won't be you I'll be thanking," I told him as he grinned.

"I'll leave you with that nice visual. My work here is done," he announced as he slapped me on the back, then turned and left my office.

I knew he had a meeting that afternoon so I let him go, needing to calm down, both from Emmett's interference and the thoughts his words had planted in my brain…well, my groin!

ooooooOOOOOOoooooo

"Ed, man, please tell me you're free for the next hour or so," Emmett pleaded once I'd answered my phone. It sounded like the cheeky bastard now wanted a favor from me after the stunt he pulled this morning. Good job neither of us could hold a grudge against each other for long.

"I can be. Do you need me in that meeting?" I answered, running my hands through my hair. I'd go if I had to, but Emmett's current clients were difficult. He seemed to win them over with his humor, but I wasn't in the mood for schmoozing and ass-kissing today.

"Nah, but it's overrunning. I'm so close. They're gonna sign today, I swear. I just need another thirty minutes."

"Okay, do you need me to collect Seth?" I guessed, knowing Rosalie was out of town overnight.

"Oh well, as you're offering!"

I scoffed at Emmett. "Sure. I'll keep him 'til you're done."

"Great. You haven't met Seth's teacher for this year. She won't know you so I'll call the school and let them know you're collecting him, but you'll probably have to go and speak to her to get him, okay?"

"Yep, same pick up spot though?"

"Yes, call me if there's a problem."

I agreed and hung up. Looking at the clock, I realized I'd have to go soon, so I gathered my things and headed to my car. I'd picked Seth up before but only a handful of times, and not since he'd gone up a grade. I parked as near to the school as I could and walked to the playground, navigating all the parents and kids who were milling about. Jeez, how could anyone spend all day with these kids? They were loud and so full of energy.

"That's him, that's my Uncle Edward!" I heard Seth eagerly exclaim.

I spotted him tugging on the arm of someone who I assumed was his teacher. "Uncle Edward!" Seth shouted as he slammed into my legs and I hugged him awkwardly, given that he only came up to my waist. "Miss Swan said my uncle was pickling me up. Can you get me every day Uncle Edward? Mom talks all the time and takes ages to leave. Can we go to McDonald's? Why aren't you at work with my Dad?" The questions kept coming, but by this time I had made eye contact with his teacher and was stunned.

I stared.

It was her.

I blinked.

Yep, definitely her.

It was Bella.

Miss Swan, Seth's teacher, was Bella. _My _Bella. She was actually stood in front of me.

My heart rate picked up as I heard a light gasp from her, a clear sign that she recognized me.

"Hi," I started, sounding pretty dumb even to my own ears. I'd been hoping for this moment. I'd rehearsed in my head what I'd say to Bella if I ever saw her again, but in reality that one word was all I could manage.

"Umm, hi," she replied, both of us still staring.

She looked beautiful, even more so than I remembered. She was dressed very differently to when I last saw her, more casual and with less makeup, but she was even more beautiful.

I, however, looked almost the same as last time. My work suit wasn't much different to the suit I'd worn to Tanya's wedding, although this time I'd left the jacket in my office and rolled the shirt's cuffs up to my elbows.

Bella's long chestnut hair was hanging over her shoulder, secured with a flower clip that matched the color of her top. She wore ballet style flat shoes and a skirt that finished just above her knees, just enough to remind me of our night together. Christ, those legs. I knew from experience how smooth they were. Just as my mind started to wander further down that track, I looked up to meet her eyes. She was looking at me, checking me out in the same way I'd just been doing to her. I grinned, because from her expression, she liked what she saw. I felt the same emotions from our night together wash over me. The desire to learn more about her, and to spend time with her. I felt the familiar want in her eyes which gave me confidence in my body and assured me that I wasn't crazy. She felt something for me too.

When Bella's eyes finally reached mine, she looked suitably embarrassed but managed to compose herself, as I guessed I'd have to do in front of Seth.

"Edward, hi. I got the message that you would be collecting Seth. Well, I didn't know it would be you, but Seth's dad said his brother would be here, and judging by Seth's reactions, that's you?" she babbled, looking flustered as I smiled at her.

"Yep, Edward Cullen, remember?" I tried to keep the sarcasm out of my voice and sound friendly, and just soak up the sight of her in front of me.

As my shock at seeing her again started to wear off, I realized just how thrilled I was to find her again. I was actually feeling more pleased at having found Bella than I thought I'd be, given how pissed I was that she'd left after our evening together.

She, however, looked worried as her eyes darted around the school yard, presumably checking if we had an audience to our conversation. I wondered if it was my presence that was unsettling her or more the setting of our conversation. I was thrilled to see her again, but she didn't seem to feel the same.

"Umm, I remember the Edward part. I didn't know the Cullen part. God, that sounds so bad." She wrung her hands together as she shook her head and spoke quietly. "I mean, if I knew your surname was the same as Seth's, I might have made the connection. You and your brother look alike."

"Yeah, well, we are twins."

"Really?" Her eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Yeah, non-identical obviously, but we Cullens have strong genes." I looked into her eyes, trying to read her expression, but Seth pulled at my pant leg, gaining my attention.

"You're not wearing jeans. You're wearing suit pants," he informed me as Bella and I chucked at him.

"Yeah, not those sorts of jeans, buddy. I'll explain later," I told him with a ruffle to his hair before I turned back to Bella. "So, I'm okay to collect him? I don't need to give you a secret handshake or sign in blood anywhere?"

"Nope, you're all set." She spoke with a sad edge to her voice. "Have a fun afternoon, Seth," she added to the little boy who released my leg to hike his backpack further up his shoulder. I stopped him and took his bag from him, putting it casually over my own back.

"Listen, Bella—"

"Don't, Edward. You don't have to say anything."

"I just, I wanted…God, there's so much I wanted to say to you, but now—"

"Yes, Zara, you can go." Bella waved at a woman who was approaching as the last child she was stood with skipped away. She turned back to me, looking apologetic. "Maybe…could we…I mean we don't have to, but maybe we could talk. Not here…" she added quickly, "away from the school. Do you want to grab a coffee later, or tomorrow, when you don't have Seth?" Bella looked nervously around at the other parents, teachers and pupils. "I just want to explain…" she stumbled over the words looking hugely embarrassed as her face flushed bright red.

I looked down at Seth to see his smiley face grinning up at me. I remembered the time he overheard Emmett telling me to get some pussy. Seth had then waited until the whole family was seated at the dinner table before he informed them that his Daddy told me to get a pet cat. Given they all knew I was allergic to cats, that took some explaining. Therefore, I realized Bella was right. We shouldn't talk like this in front of Seth, he was far too perceptive.

"Yeah, sure. I'd like that." My heart soared at the knowledge that I'd get to see her again, just the two of us. It was exactly what I'd wanted for the last three weeks. "Seth's Dad will only be an extra thirty minutes or so. Maybe we could meet, say around six, at that diner down the road?" I suggested.

Bella looked really nervous as if second-guessing herself, but slowly she nodded. "Okay, but I won't be able to stay long," she agreed.

"That's fine." I was just glad I was going to see her again. "Well, I'll see you there later then," I clarified, waiting for her nod of confirmation before I reluctantly turned and left with Seth.

I wanted to talk to Bella some more. I had so many questions, but they would have to wait. I turned and looked behind me as we exited the school yard, but she had already gone. I cursed under my breath, realizing I should have asked for her number. I felt like there was a possibility she wouldn't show up later. Her behavior was confusing me to be honest. The night we'd met she was more forward, but today she had been weary of me and less approachable.

Before I could analyze our meeting any more, Seth had grabbed my attention by talking about Bella.

"….Miss Swan was off for two days 'cause she was sick and we had this stinky teacher who told me off when my pencil snapped in half. I didn't mean to do it. Do you think I'm strong like my Daddy?"

"Wow, back it up there, buddy," I asked Seth as we settled in my car and he continued to talk to me as we drove off. "When was this?" I asked him, watching in the rear view mirror as he shrugged.

"Before the weekend?" he suggested without much commitment behind his words. "I heard her telling Mr Newton how the doctor did some test with a stick…" he continued as I felt my body shiver and my blood run cold.

_What. The. Fuck?_

A stick? Did that mean…no. Bella wasn't pregnant. Was she? No. She couldn't be. We'd used protection. I'd used protection. My dude was always wrapped. They were like ninety nine percent effective, right? And even if my swimmers got loose, she was probably on her own birth control.

I was well aware that my brain was running away with my thoughts and I was jumping to conclusions, but if everything was okay then what did she have to _explain_?

I couldn't think straight. Suddenly the elation of finding Bella had turned into dread and concern about what she wanted to discuss.

Seth was still chatting away in the back of the car, so I tried to focus on him and his repeated request to go to McDonald's.

"Sure, dude," I agreed, feeling in no mood for a confrontation with an eight-year-old who could nag me more that his dad did. We headed straight for the drive-thru, and after receiving our order I drove the last few blocks to his house. We parked and sat on the swing seat on his porch to eat. I desperately tried to focus on Seth and not the crazy thoughts running through my head right now. I was determined not to get wound up thinking about Bella being pregnant. It was unlikely, right? I concentrated instead on the fact that I'd found her and I'd get to see her again very soon.

Just as we were finishing our food, Emmett pulled up. I watched as Seth leaped up, ran across the lawn and jumped into his dad's arms as soon as Emmett had his car door open. There followed a wrestling match between the two, which ended with Emmett slinging Seth over his shoulder by his ankles before he deposited him, laughing and giggling, at my feet.

"Dad, Uncle Edward knows Miss Swan," Seth informed him before I could even greet my brother. "They're gonna get coffee," he added as Emmett grinned over at me.

_Yep. My nephew was definitely perceptive!_

"Well, well, well..." Emmett started as I shook my head at him, desperate to butt in and defend myself despite knowing he had more to say. "Bud, there's a Hershey's in one of the shopping bags in the trunk of my car. If you can find it, you can eat it," he told Seth in an attempt to get us alone to talk.

I balled up our food wrappers as Emmett collapsed into the seat next to me, watching Seth rummaging in the trunk of the car. "Good work, bro. One meeting and you've got a date! Please tell me this means you're finally over Bella, 'cause I've never seen you mope around like that."

"Em…she is Bella." He turned to me, his jaw actually dropping in surprise.

"Wait? What?" he exclaimed as I grinned. This was one of the few times I'd ever seen him speechless.

"Bella is Miss Swan," I clarified.

"Miss Swan? Seth's teacher? Miss Swan is Bella? No way!" he shouted as Seth looked up from rummaging in the trunk. I just nodded as Emmett lowered his voice. "Seth's teacher? Far out! She's sweet and far too nice for you, dude!" He scoffed, still in surprise. "She's pretty though…killer legs," he added as I grimaced at him and he laughed in return. "You've slept with Miss Swan. Wow!"

"Bro, stop calling her that. It's freaking me out," I confessed as he chuckled.

"So what did _Bella_ have to say?"

"Not a lot. There were other teachers, parents and kids around. Not an ideal audience for discussing our one night stand."

"Guess so. So what was it like seeing her again?"

"Good." I didn't elaborate, but Emmett saw the smile that spread across my face. "I did worry that I'd exaggerated her in my memory, but, man, she looked good. Like, really fucking good."

"I'll bet." Emmett waggled his eyebrows at me as I grinned, remembering how Bella looked. How she was certainly every bit as attractive as I'd remembered. How her smile was shyer, but her legs looked just as smooth. I remembered how her body looked under those clothes. How soft her hair felt, and how she blushed when I caught her looking at my body.

"So, you're seeing her again?" Emmett interrupted my thoughts.

"We're meeting for coffee soon, to _explain_."

"Explain what?"

"I'm not really sure." I looked down at my watch.

"Well, I hope you get some answers, bro," Emmett told me as I nodded. "Just make sure you hear her out, yeah? You wanted to see her again so don't go in all 'Cullen lion' and scare her off."

"Sure. Well I'd better be off. Oh, how did the meeting go?"

"You know me, bro, always seal the deal!" he exclaimed as I patted him on the back.

"Nice one." I congratulated him and stood up to leave.

"Bro, good luck yeah and E, you got…?" he gestured as he held up his wallet.

"Cash?" I asked confused. "Yeah," I absentmindedly tapped my pockets for confirmation.

"Err…no. I'm not offering you my bucks, Eddie. I meant condoms!" He whispered that last word with a glance to check his son wasn't listening.

"Oh." Understanding dawned on me. "Oh! No. I won't need them; I just want to talk to her."

"Oh sure!" Emmett replied, his voice heavy with sarcasm. "All this detective work. All your moaning and bitching is 'cause you want to see her again and have a real good..._talk_! Right, talk, gotcha!" He added with a nod of his head as I rolled my eyes.

"Em— "

"Whatever, little bro. Don't tell me you don't want her again 'cause I won't believe you," Emmett gave me a dismissive wave of his hand. "Just let me know how you get on, you know, if you're not too busy!"

"Bye, Em." I turned and left. I so wasn't ready for that conversation. "Bye, Seth," I added as I passed my nephew and ruffled his hair.

**A/N: I have a few people to thank:**

**Thanks to anyone who has read this. Please let me know what you think. Also, thank you to those who have taken the time to write a review, your words are very much appreciated.**

**Thank you to my beta Lellabeth. I'm truly honored that she would give up her time to beta this little story. Any mistakes are mine because I tinker with this story all the time.**

**Thanks to ****SarcasticBimbo for her pre-reading help.**

**Thanks to Mina Rivera**** for the awesome new story banners. Please check them out (links on my profile).**

**Also thanks to A Different Forest who featured this fic in their Fic Dive section in September. There is a vote for the favorite fic in the Fic Dive if anyone feels inclined to vote for this story or any of the other great entries. **


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: "Bella, what's the worst they could say? That you slept with a guy? How the hell do you think they got kids in the first place?"

**A/N: I don't own Twilight or its characters; they belong to Stephanie Meyer. This is just what they got up to in my mind.**

I approached the diner Bella and I had agreed to meet at, glancing at my watch as I walked. I was a bit early so I stopped outside and waited, jamming my hands in my pockets as I looked both ways down the street, searching for Bella.

Earlier today I'd managed to put Seth's words out of my head but now I was standing here with nothing to do but wait, think, and panic. I started to worry. What if Bella was pregnant? I barely knew her. I wasn't exactly ready for this shitstorm, and the longer I waited, the more worked up I became. Maybe she was pregnant, or maybe she was married, or maybe she just wouldn't damn well turn up. I wouldn't have been surprised if she was a no show, but given it was Bella who had suggested we meet, I was hopeful she'd appear soon.

I checked my watch again. Now that I had worries of my own to discuss with her I really needed her to hurry up.

All I could do was wait.

And wait.

Until finally she showed.

She was actually only ten minutes late, but in my agitated state I'd arrived ten minutes early so those twenty minutes felt like twenty days.

I watched as she approached. She was wearing the same clothes as earlier in the day, but this time she had added a light jacket to her outfit and was carrying a cream handbag. I had been leaning against the brick wall of the diner but I kicked off the wall, stood straighter and walked toward her. My face must have given away my worry and frustration because her step faltered at the sight of me, and her grip on her handbag tightened as I came to a stop in front of her by the entrance to an alleyway.

"Sorry I'm late..." she started, but I didn't hear her.

"I need to know, Bella, are you pregnant?" I blurted out, not waiting another second to ask her. I couldn't make small talk with her and sit and chat without knowing.

"W…what?" She gasped. Her face clouded with confusion. I clutched her arm and pulled her with me into the small alleyway to avoid a couple walking past on the narrow sidewalk, and to give us some privacy. She scowled as I realized too late she couldn't have known that anyone was approaching behind her.

"Well?" Why wasn't she answering me? I was vaguely aware that my body was close to hers in the narrow alleyway. My hand was still holding her arm, my brain only just overriding my irritation when it told me not to raise my voice any louder. I needed her to answer me. I took a step closer to her, my eyes boring into hers, our faces so close our breath was mingling in the air between us, our bodies almost flush as I realized the intimacy of our situation.

"Edward, my arm." She spoke calmly.

I sighed and released her arm. I ran my hands though my hair as I took a step back and started pacing in the alleyway. "Bella, seriously..." I asked. "Tell me you're not fucking pregnant." I growled as she looked up at me, her brown eyes wide as she took in my panic-stricken face.

"N…no," she said, stumbling over her words as I tried to read her face for any signs of a lie. "Edward, I'm not."

I shook my head to try and clear my mind. I dropped my hands to my knees and took a few deep breaths. I'm not sure I've ever been so relieved. I'd worked myself up into such a state that I'd acted appallingly. Emmett's words about being a 'Cullen lion' were bouncing around my head. It was a shame I was only remembering that now.

"Sorry," I mumbled as I let her words sink in. "Bella, I'm so sorry." I straightened up now to see her walking forward from the wall to confront me.

"Are you _fucking_ crazy, Edward?" She shoved my chest with both hands, catching me off balance and sending me stumbling. I regained my footing as I replied, trying to justify my craziness.

"It's just Seth said you had been off ill, and he mentioned a test with a stick—"

"We spend a few hours together, I get tonsillitis, and you assume that your swimmers can break through latex?"

_Note to self, Edward, now is not the time to get turned on._ The close proximity to her, the way she just cursed, and the relief running through me were all going to my head. The wrong head.

_God, she was feisty!_

"I wasn't thinking straight. You said you wanted to talk, to _explain_. So I—"

"Jumped to conclusions?" she shouted. She'd turned her upset into anger, all traces of shyness gone as she pulled her handbag up onto her shoulder, looking like she was going to leave.

"Bella, I'm sorry," I reiterated forcefully. "I could have handled that better. I was so worried —"

"You have no need to worry, Edward. You're free to walk away from this. You're not stuck with me."

We both fell into an uncomfortable silence before she took a deep breath and spoke again. "I'm going to head inside to get a coffee. If you're able to sit calmly and talk to me properly, then join me. Otherwise, if you want to forget this ever happened and walk away with no consequences, no baby and no hard feelings then you're free to do that." She settled her handbag more firmly on her shoulder and marched off in the direction of the diner.

I was mildly surprised she still wanted to sit with me, but I now knew she was used to dealing with a classroom full of energetic seven and eight-year-olds, so she could handle herself rather well.

I took a deep breath and ran my hands through my hair. Once I felt myself calm down, I was able to think more clearly. Tonsillitis! Seth had mentioned a test with a stick, probably meaning the tongue depressor doctors used to check your tonsils.

Did I want to see her again? _Hell yes!_ She was giving me an out but I didn't want it. I'd spent weeks wishing I could get to know her, and now that we had met again I couldn't walk away without knowing if we could be more than this.

More than a one night stand.

More than an afternoon of misunderstandings.

I inhaled a deep breath of fresh air and entered the diner. I spotted Bella sitting in an otherwise empty part of the room, a flustered-looking waitress approaching her. I sped up so I could add a coffee to Bella's order of a latte. I felt her eyes on me as I pulled my cell phone out, silenced it and placed it back in my pocket before I sat down opposite her.

When I met her eyes, she gave me a small smile, maybe appreciating the gesture, maybe pleased that I was here at all. I wasn't sure.

"Bella, I'm sorry about that. I can be a hothead sometimes. I just panicked, and then when you didn't answer me…" I trailed off.

I was pretty sure I'd just blown any chance I had with her.

"Edward, my dad's a police chief. I know how to handle myself." Her tone was blunt, but her eyes were softer and warmer than I expected.

"Police chief, huh? You could have told me that _before_ we spent the night together. Now I feel like I'm going to end up on _America's Most Wanted_!" I joked, trying to bring some humour and banter into our conversation.

"Like I'd tell my Dad about that! The whole situation is bad enough as it is."

"Bad?" I croaked. I must have look offended because she smiled slightly at me.

"Don't get your ego in a twist, Edward. I didn't mean it that way! That night was far from bad. It was… well, kind of amazing." A small smile played on her plump lips as she looked away, suddenly captivated by the pattern on the linoleum table.

If she hadn't been talking about sex, us having sex to be specific, I'd have zoned out and allowed myself to remember those lips on my skin, but I willed myself to listen to her and not be any more of a jerk than I'd already been this afternoon.

"Edward, it was great, but it wasn't very responsible was it? In my job I shouldn't… I can't behave like that. I've never done that before, ever, and now… I love my job. I can't risk anything…" she stumbled over her words, looking distressed.

The waitress approached our table but left as soon as she had deposited our drinks, perhaps picking up on the tense atmosphere surrounding us.

"Hey, Bella, is that what this is about? Is this why you wanted to talk? Your job?"

She nodded.

Great, I'd been shot down! She didn't want to meet me again because she liked me or because she wanted to take this further. It was because she wanted my silence.

"Yes. What did you think I wanted to explain?" She looked surprised as she took a sip of her drink.

"Our night together," I grumbled while she looked surprised.

"Edward, it was a one night stand. The definition is in the title!"

"It's just… oh hell, I don't know. I thought…it felt to me like we could have more, more than one night, but you bolted." I tried to keep my calm and not to raise my voice in the crowded diner.

"Well, I'm sorry I didn't know the correct etiquette for that situation," she answered, her voice heavy with sarcasm. "It was my first time so —"

"First time?" I gulped. Please, dear God, please tell me she wasn't a virgin. She hadn't acted like a virgin. She was easily in her twenties. I'd assumed…

"First one night stand, Edward_. Jeez_, don't have a heart attack. I'm not a virgin."

"Well, not now!" I added, making her laugh quietly.

"I wasn't before. What I meant was I have no other one night stands to compare it to. You obviously _do,_ so—"

"Hardly! Bella, if you want to have a conversation about past lovers—"

"I don't," she said flatly, abruptly ending our banter. She sipped her drink before she spoke again. "You do know that in the space of ten minutes you've accused me of being both a virgin_ and_ pregnant. How does that work?"

I chuckled slightly, realizing she was right. "You get under my skin, Bella. You make me act crazy." I shrugged, as if that would explain. The truth was I didn't know why she affected me this way, I just knew I wanted to it to continue because I'd never felt like this before.

There was a pause in which we sipped our drinks and avoided each other's eyes.

"Edward, I couldn't concentrate all afternoon because I was worrying about my job. The parents at that school, if they hear a whisper of this they won't be happy," she stated while looking down at her coffee cup, tracing the pattern with her finger as she avoided eye contact with me. I could hear the fear in her voice, a wobble in her words that told me she was genuine.

"Bella, I'm not going to tell anyone," I reassured her. "Except, well, my brother already knows," I admitted sheepishly as her eyes snapped up to mine.

"Seth's dad knows? Edward, I have to face him every week. I see him at parents' nights and school events. He's probably told Seth's mom. Oh God. Edward, she knows all the moms!"

"They won't tell anyone, I'll make sure of it. Emmett's known about us since the morning after the wedding. I wanted to see you again. He was trying to help me work out who the hell you were, so when I saw you earlier, I told him I'd met you again. I didn't think anything of it," I explained as she looked shocked.

"Well it's probably too late now. Playground gossip spreads like wildfire." She groaned, ignoring the part of my speech where I said I'd wanted to see her again.

"Bella, what's the worst they could say? That you slept with a guy? How the hell do you think they got kids in the first place?"

She groaned again and dropped her head.

Perhaps I wasn't helping.

"This is about morals, Edward. They don't want some floozy teaching their kids." She lifted her head and gave me an exasperated look.

"_Floozy_!" I laughed. _Oops_. Judging by Bella's face, I still wasn't helping. "Bella, you're far from that. You said yourself you've never had a one night stand before."

"They don't know that!" She scowled as I sighed. I could see this was really stressing her out, and I had to help. I was part of the problem after all.

"Listen, Bella, this will be fine. If it blows up, which it won't," I added quickly, cutting her off before she could talk. "I'll tell them we're together. You can't get in trouble for dating a single guy. I know I'm your pupil's uncle, but we didn't know that at the time. I will make this better, okay?" I soothed as her face crumpled in relief.

"You'd do that?" she asked quietly, looking at my hands which were gripping my coffee cup tightly. I remembered how she mentioned my hands the night we met. How did everything seem so simple then and so complicated now?

"I'd rather not pretend, but yeah," I said with a shrug.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I can't ask you to lie."

"No, I meant I'd rather it was real and no pretense was necessary."

"Oh." She paused.

I waited.

"_Oh_, really?" She looked stunned. Before I'd consciously thought about it I realized I'd reached across the table and rested my hand on top of hers. Her hand was stock still and she didn't make any move to reciprocate.

She looked down at our hands as I spoke. "Bella, you don't have to be ashamed. I'm not. We're two consenting adults, and if it makes you feel any better, I don't do that often. As I said before, I wanted to see you the next morning but you'd gone. I've been hoping to see you again," I admitted, squeezing her hand to encourage her to look at me. I needed her to see how sincere I was being.

"I had to go," she said with a shrug, finally making eye contact with me.

"Why?"

"I just… I had to, okay?"

"I need more than that Bella. How would you feel if a guy walked out on you like that?" She removed her hand from under mine and looked down at the table, embarrassment spread across her face when she looked back up at me.

"I didn't think you'd mind. You mentioned your family were all staying at the hotel. I didn't want it to be awkward for you."

Huh? I hadn't really considered what I'd have done if she had stayed. I'm not sure I'd have brought Bella to breakfast with my family...my parents, but it would have been rude to leave her and go on my own. "Still, you could have left a note or something."

"Saying what? 'Thanks for the fuck'?" Her crudeness and blunt delivery surprised me. "I had to return to reality, Edward. The reality where I need my job to keep a roof over my head."

"Or the reality where you have a boyfriend?" I blurted out as she ran her hands threw her hair.

"Jesus, Edward," she whispered, shaking her head at me.

"It's a simple enough question."

"You think I'd do that?" Bella looked insulted now, but I had to know.

"You didn't answer my question." Now I was getting worried.

"No. I don't have a boyfriend," she told me, looking at her watch.

"What about a husband, a partner?"

"What? No. I wouldn't cheat."

"Good."

We sipped at our drinks as I thought about what Bella had said. I was now thinking there was little point in pursuing the past. She hadn't left out of malice; clearly she had reasons, even if I didn't fully understand them. I needed to focus on the future and seeing her again.

With a glance at her watch Bella grabbed her handbag from the floor and started rifling through it. "I'm sorry, Edward, I have to go." She dropped some money on the table between us. "I am sorry I left you that morning. I just assumed you'd forget all about me."

"I don't want to forget you." I told her as I picked up her money. "I do want to forget that you just tried to pay for our drinks though. My mom would be appalled if I let a woman pay for coffee!" I reached forward and offered her money back.

"This is the twenty-first century, Edward. I invited you here." She didn't take the notes so I placed them back on the table. Who was paying for coffee was the least of my worries right now, especially as it looked like Bella was going to run again.

"Am I fighting a losing battle here, Bella. Are you into me at all?" Even I heard my voice crack as I questioned her. I was dumbfounded. Bella was leaving again.

Out of all the times I'd thought of tracking her down and talking to her, I don't think I'd rehearsed the possibility that she wouldn't want to see me again. I'd been quite cocky about my ability to get her on a date. The way she had acted during our night together made me sure she was into me.

Bella sighed and checked her watch again before looking up at me, studying my face for a few seconds. "Yes. You're painfully good-looking and from what I can tell, you're one of the good guys, but my life is different from yours, okay? I assumed a guy I met once wouldn't want to take on that life, so I left and got out before I could get my hopes up. Surely you can understand that." She left her bag on the table, stood up, and started to reach for her jacket. I leaped up, reached for her jacket myself, and held it open for her. She rolled her eyes at me but threaded her arms through the . I was pleased at what she'd said but confirmation that she liked me wasn't helping when she was still leaving.

I leant down and whispered close to her ear. "I don't understand at all. Why won't you give me a chance?"

Her breath hitched. I remembered kissing her neck, close to where my mouth was currently hovering, remembered how her skin had been so soft and her moans had been loud. I closed my eyes to block out the memories. She was driving me crazy with want, and I couldn't do anything about it.

"I'm just trying to save us both any hurt." Her voice was quiet and sad.

My eyes snapped open. "What if I'm already hurting?" I surprised myself with my own openness. Seeing her standing here in her coat, ready to run again, was obviously making me speak more of my mind than I usually would.

She groaned as my hot breath hit her skin. Her warm body, so close to mine, and her unexpected groan had an interesting effect on me. I took a step back, needing the space. Looking at her, I saw that she seemed shocked and slightly hurt by my words. Good. I was feeling hurt too.

"You can have any woman you want. I doubt you'll have any trouble scoring another date…" she trailed off as I felt my anger rise to the surface.

"Bella, what if it's you I want to date?" I really tried to keep my voice down but Christ, she was infuriating me. I sure as hell wanted to leave here with a date, but I wasn't going to beg her. I still had some pride left. Not much, but some.

"I like you Edward, I do, but I have to go. I can't be late." She sounded genuine which made me relent slightly.

I took a deep breath and tried to focus on what was important here. I watched Bella's face, trying to read her emotions. She looked flustered and almost reluctant to go.

I remembered how I'd been too proud to contact Tanya or properly try and find out who Bella was. If we hadn't met today, who knows if we'd have met again. I had a second chance and couldn't contemplate giving her up. I'd been forced to do it once already and I was in no rush to return to being miserable, grumpy Edward when I had a real chance at happiness. I had to take the plunge and just ask her outright. "Can we meet again when you have more time?"

Bella looked at me skeptically "Are you sure you want to do this?"

I scoffed. Yeah, I was pretty damn sure. "_Yes_." I sensed I was finally getting her to believe me.

Bella shook her head, more at herself than me, and muttered under her breath "You're crazy. _I'm_ crazy."

"Is that a yes?" I knew by the grin she was trying to suppress that she was agreeing.

She looked at my chest, finding my shirt buttons fascinating, before she answered. "I could be free, tomorrow evening…" she replied as I beamed stupidly at her.

"I could pick you up," I offered, trying not to sound too eager.

"No, that's fine. I'll meet you somewhere. What about back here?"

"Bella, a diner isn't really where I'd thought of for a—" I paused. I liked the idea of this being a date, but referring to it as such might scare her away. "It's not quite what I had in mind."

"Well we could meet here and then decide where to go? I could be here about…7:30," she suggested as I nodded. She agreed to meet me, that was the main thing. I wouldn't argue the details. I was going to book a restaurant table though, just in case.

"7:30 it is," I confirmed.

"Okay, well if you're sure?" Her voice was tentative as she asked.

"Definitely."

She gave me a small smile before she turned and picked up her handbag. She twisted back to me and studied my face as she pulled her jacket closer around her body. She then whispered goodbye and left the diner.

After watching her go, I picked up the bills she'd thrown on the table and pocketed them before downing the last of my drink and smiling at the approaching waitress. I pulled out my wallet and paid the bill myself.

ooooooOOOOOOoooooo

"Uh-oh, you're here far too soon to have had much fun with her," Emmett exclaimed as he opened his front door.

Since Rosalie was out of town, I'd headed to Emmett's. I needed the company and especially needed to follow through on my promise to Bella to speak to Emmett about the situation. I knew he'd grill me about Bella, but I didn't want to go home to an empty house when my mind was buzzing with the day's events.

Emmett had grabbed some beers from the fridge, and we were now sitting in his living room after saying goodnight to Seth. Seth was a great kid who I loved spending time with, but he didn't need to hear me discussing his teacher in the context of my love life.

"So, how'd it go? I didn't call you in case…" Emmett trailed off with a waggle of his eyebrows.

"Em, we talked," I deadpanned.

"Hmm, that sounds fun! So what happened?"

"I don't know where to start!" I raked a hand through my hair in an exasperated manner.

"Start with that." Emmett waved a beer in front of me. "Well," he continued, moving his head side to side slightly as he examined me. "It doesn't look like she slapped you!"

"Why would she slap me?" I asked with a scoff, eagerly taking the beer from him.

"Who knows what these escaped nuns are capable of?!" he joked, lightening the mood as I took a pull from my beer.

"That's your son's teacher you're talking about," I reminded him.

"Yeah, thanks for that. I'm not gonna be able to look her in the eye at parents' night." He groaned as I grimaced at him.

"Yeah, about that…Bella wanted to meet me to make sure this didn't get out to the school and the other parents."

"That's why she wanted to talk? _Ouch_! Your ego must be shattered." Emmett took a swig of his beer as I continued.

"I'm serious. She knows that you know. Just keep this to ourselves, yeah?"

"Well yeah. I don't want Seth subjected to rumors of his uncle and teacher, so that's probably best."

"But your wife—"

"Likes to gossip, I know! I'll talk to her," he assured me as he sat back in the sofa, clearly unworried by this. "So, did you find out why she left the morning after?"

"Fuck if I know. I'm more confused than ever," I confessed as I too sat back on the sofa. "She's really guarded and we didn't have much time, she had to leave again."

"Did you talk about anything else?"

"I accused her of being pregnant," I said casually as Emmett almost choked on his mouthful of beer.

"What?" He sat up in his seat and stared at me.

"She's not," I clarified. "I could blame your son for an off-the-cuff comment, but it was all me. My thoughts just ran away from me." I shrugged, not wanting to explain that whole fiasco.

"Sounds like the whole thing was a bit of a disaster."

_Thanks bro, very helpful. _"Yeah well, it didn't exactly go as I'd hoped," I stumbled as he outright laughed at me.

"I've never seen you so flustered over a chick!" _Oh, he was loving this!_

The problem was I couldn't deny it. I hadn't felt like this before and even Bella's own attempts to put me off hadn't worked. Whatever was so complicated about her life couldn't change her personality, her intelligence, her beauty, everything that drew me to her.

"Just drop it, Em." I groaned at him as he held his hands up, palms facing me in a gesture of surrender.

"I will, but you're going to see her again though, yeah?" he asked encouragingly after a long pull on his beer.

"Yes."

"Good," Emmett replied sincerely as I nodded at him.

"Well, since we've settled that, can you please turn the TV on so we can watch the game and try and get back some masculinity after all this talking about emotions and shit?" I asked.

"Sure, bro." Emmett laughed and searched for the TV remote.

**A/N: I have a few people to thank:**

**Thanks to anyone who has read this. Please let me know what you think. Also, thank you to those who have taken the time to write a review, your words are very much appreciated.**

**Thank you to my beta Lellabeth. I'm truly honored that she would give up her time to beta this little story. Any mistakes are mine because I tinker with this story all the time.**

**Thanks to ****SarcasticBimbo for her pre-reading help.**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: "I'm pretty sure you're going to break my heart."

**A/N: I don't own Twilight or its characters; they belong to Stephanie Meyer. This is just what they got up to in my mind.**

My meeting was boring as fuck. I couldn't concentrate on much because my mind kept wandering to my date with Bella tonight. I knew my head wasn't in the game, and Emmett knew it too because more than once he kicked me under the table to prompt a response from me.

After an hour or so, we took a coffee break where Emmett verbally kicked my ass and told me to concentrate and participate if we ever wanted this meeting to end. Given I now had plans for this evening, that was all the incentive I needed to wrap this up. I blamed my lack of caffeine and promised I'd do better now I'd refilled on two cups of coffee in our break.

The rest of the meeting went better, aside from when Emmett caught me looking up local restaurants on my iPad when I was meant to be updating the timeline graph. Still, I produced all the figures and information the client wanted, and shortly before six they signed on the dotted line and went on their merry way. I followed their lead and packed up, leaving quickly to avoid a conversation with Emmett.

I arrived home and immediately jumped in the shower.

My house was a large property considering it was just me living here. It was larger than I needed, but I'd bought it as a rundown, pre-loved home. A renovation project to keep me busy in my down time. I liked knowing all the effort I put into remodeling the house was for me and my future, not for a client or a contract.

I'd completed the downstairs first. I'd fitted a new kitchen with a breakfast bar, wooden flooring, a bay window with a cozy window seat and a dining corner seat rather than the traditional table and chairs. That didn't see too much use though, as I usually sat at the breakfast bar when eating alone. The deck that started at the front of the house wrapped around to the back and could be accessed from a large sliding glass door on the back wall of the kitchen.

I had started remodeling the upstairs and completed my room not long ago, including the en-suite and the new power shower which I was currently unwinding in. I still had a few bedrooms to modernize, but as I had no use for them they weren't a priority. I'd set up a nook downstairs as my office so those rooms could wait.

Usually I had to drag myself out of my luxurious shower, but this time I was keen to get going so I emerged with a towel around my waist as I decided what on earth to wear this evening. Jeans seemed a bit casual but nevertheless I decided to dress down. I didn't want to scare Bella off by dressing for a fancy date, especially when I didn't know what she was expecting from the evening. I grabbed a crisp, nearly new pair of black jeans and matched them with a checked shirt, leaving the top few buttons undone and rolling up the sleeves. I wasn't stupid. I was learning the ways in which Bella liked my body.

As I headed downstairs, I buckled my belt and snapped on my watch before I grabbed a black jacket and threaded my arms into it, leaving the zipper open. I then patted my pockets to make sure I had my phone, keys, wallet, and Bella's money from the diner yesterday. I glanced in the mirror by my front door and ran my hands through my hair to try and tame it, which was a waste of time. No matter what I did, it looked messy so I shrugged and left.

I parked across the street from the diner. As I left my car and turned back to make sure it was locked, I saw Bella exiting her car. Well, I saw her legs first. She was wearing a skirt, and while it was certainly a decent length, it made her legs look a mile long. I took in a deep breath and walked closer to her, reaching her just as she fully exited her car and locked it. Her white skirt was topped with a pink strappy top and a light cardigan, which was open due to the mild weather. As I looked down at her legs again I saw pink and white heels. Really nice pink and white heels.

"You look amazing," I complimented, only then becoming aware that she hadn't seen me coming. This was evidenced by the fact that she jumped, screamed, and dropped her car keys on the ground when I spoke. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." I bent down to get her keys, admiring her legs some more on my way up.

"I didn't see you," she told me quietly, only now taking in my appearance. Her eyes stalled as she looked at the skin exposed by my open shirt buttons. "Umm, hi," she greeted me when she finally pulled her eyes from my chest and looked at me. "You, umm, you look great too," she stuttered, looking embarrassed when she saw my amused face.

I grinned back at her, pleased I could affect her this way. I took her hand and placed her car keys on her palm. "Thanks for coming," I told her sincerely, watching while she placed her car keys in her handbag and pulled it further up onto her shoulder. "Did you have anywhere in mind? I can find a restaurant?" I offered as she bit her bottom lip slightly. That action reminded me of the night we met. That was a good sign.

"It's not far to walk to the waterfront from here. If you want to?" she suggested.

I looked down at her heels. "You're sure?" I said, my voice sounding doubtful.

"Yeah, it's beautiful there and I never get to go at this time of night," she told me as we set off in the direction of the waterfront. I knew there was a large play park there, a boating lake, and some stalls and vendors, but it wasn't somewhere I visited often.

As we walked I concentrated on the rhythmic click, click, clicking of Bella's heels. I wanted to hold her hand, but as I wasn't too sure how that move would be received, I jammed my hands in my pants pockets to occupy them instead.

I was realizing how long it had been since I'd tried to romance someone. I'd had relationships in the past few years, but no one serious. No one I'd had to chase or impress, and this new world of romance seemed littered with mines about to blow up if I took her hand too soon, or not soon enough. I took a deep breath and reminded myself not to overthink things. I was a smart guy. I had this.

"Something wrong?" Bella asked upon hearing my sigh.

"No, no. I just wanted to do this..." I told her, going for an honest reply as I stretched out my arm and held her hand, threading our fingers together. "Is this okay?" I asked as she looked shocked.

"Uh-hah," she nodded. "You have nice hands," she told me as I grinned at the compliment.

"Is that so? Good chest, good hands…" I trailed off as she gasped, apparently surprised that I'd remembered how she liked my body the one night we'd been together.

"Big head," she added.

"Big…no, I won't go there!" I joked as she raised her eyebrows at me and smiled.

"So, do you go to the waterfront much?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Not really. I know my sister takes her son here to feed the ducks but I haven't been in a while. What about you?"

"I try to come here when I can. I love the water and the park, and this one food stand does amazing hotdogs."

"Yeah? Well it would be rude not to try them," I suggested. "Unless you've already eaten?"

"No." We walked along, her shoes clicking on the pavement and my hand gripping hers as we chatted. I told her about my architecture firm and working with Emmett, and asked more about her job. I listened in fascination when she talked with such awe about the children in her class and why she loved being a teacher. Her voice was animated and her eyes were bright, making it easy to see how much her job meant to her.

As we neared the waterfront, it became obvious that it was quite busy here, mainly with families and couples. We gravitated to the small queue in front of the hotdog stand, and I purchased two hotdogs with all the trimmings as well as two cans of soda. I gave Bella a harsh look when she wanted to pay for hers, asking her instead to save a vacant bench nearby.

I joined her a few minutes later with our food and watched the scene in front of us as we ate. On the river bank there were a few older children driving remote-controlled boats, and couples and families taking a ride on paddle boats. The sunlight was beginning to dim around us and we saw families with children packing up and leaving. We chatted a little while we ate, but my main focus was trying desperately not to let my mind wander to more lascivious acts as I watched Bella eat her hot dog. I am a guy after all!

Once we'd eaten and thrown away our trash, I grabbed Bella's hand again and pulled her to the paddle boats.

"Uh, Edward, it will be getting dark soon." She sounded wary.

"Best go now then. Come on. It'll be fun," I teased. It had crossed my mind her legs would look amazing paddling one of these boats next to me, but I also wanted to have fun and to try and help her relax. I paid at the kiosk and climbed into a boat as I offered her my hand. She hesitated, no doubt wondering how to navigate into the boat in her heels, but she took my hand and climbed in, sitting beside me and stretching out her legs to reach the pedals. I was right. They looked amazing.

"So…" I started as we set off away from the shore. "How many times did you think about cancelling tonight?"

Her head shot up to look at me. "What? How? I…" she started as I just grinned at her.

"Bella, you're skittish around me. I know you're holding back from me. There's a reason I haven't given you my number. You might have cancelled if you could," I confessed as she slapped my thigh and tutted at me.

"But what if I needed to cancel?" She pouted slightly as I chuckled.

"Why would you need to cancel?"

"I might have been ill or had an accident. I'm quite a klutz." She shrugged.

"Well, I took the risk that you would remain upright until our date, and it looks like I was right."

"Upright _until _our date? Why? What happens now?" she teased as I grinned at her innuendo.

"Well, you're almost lying down already," I pointed out.

"That's true. You work fast."

"I think we've already established that." An adorable blush crept up her cheeks, making it difficult for me to look away from her. I watched as her eyes drifted again to the gap in my shirt which revealed a glimpse of my chest. I was pretty sure she was remembering that night, just like I was.

We talked some more as I asked Bella how her day had been before I remembered something important I had to tell her.

"So I talked to my brother last night. I explained that, for your sake and Seth's, we needed him and Rosalie to keep quiet about us."

"Was he okay with that?" Shy, serious Bella was back.

"Yeah. He'll talk to Rosalie when she's back today and they won't mention it at the school gates." In my mind this was totally unnecessary, but I knew how much it meant to Bella when I saw the relief cross her face and the tension from her shoulders drop slightly.

"I wouldn't want to cause Seth any trouble. He's a great kid." Her voice was sincere as I smiled at her.

"Yeah, he is. He's like a mini Emmett. I don't know how Rose copes with both of them. It must be like having two kids sometimes."

"Do you spend a lot of time with Seth?" she asked, surprising me with her question.

"Yeah. My whole family's close, so I see him most weekends. Occasionally I even collect him from school..." I grinned up at her, watching her face turn a now familiar shade of pink.

"Yeah, I noticed that! Well, thanks for talking to your brother." She looked out at the ducks floating by. We were now circling around a grass island in the water, meaning I needed to steer us away from some low-lying tree branches.

I shrugged. "We're close. We talk about most things anyway. He knew I'd been trying to find you. I looked for you on Tanya's Facebook, but you must have some stupid profile picture," I teased as she leant her arm over the side of the paddle boat to wet her fingers before she flicked cold water at me.

"My picture isn't stupid," she informed me as she tried to be serious and not laugh.

"Well, it isn't of you," I reasoned and she nodded.

"No it isn't."

I wondered if she'd elaborate. She didn't.

"I didn't want to interrupt Tanya's honeymoon and ask her about you, but in the end Emmett called Tanya himself. Actually she hasn't called me back. Huh, married life must be keeping her busy," I mused.

"Your family seem very open with each other." Bella noted as she looked up from the calm water and I noticed her eyes settle on thighs as we pedaled the boat slowly.

"Yeah, I guess we are. We all live near each other and Em and I run our company together, so I see his ugly mug even when I really don't want to!"

"So how long have Emmett and Rosalie been married?" Bella queried before I had a chance to ask her about her family.

"Nine years. Most people would think they were nutso to get married at nineteen but they just knew. Anyone who spends time with them can see it too. Seth was a bit of a surprise though. A honeymoon baby. They were twenty by the time he was born. Raising a kid at twenty wasn't what they planned on, but they had each other, and Seth's their world now."

"I can imagine," Bella whispered, looking out to the water before she shook her head to clear her thoughts. "So the prom dancing really did impress Rosalie then?" Bella joked as I laughed, pleased she remembered that part of our night together.

"Yeah. Shame it doesn't have the same effect on everyone," I whispered as she looked surprised.

"I'd say it had a pretty good effect on me, wouldn't you?"

"I can't read you, Bella. I don't know how you feel," I confessed as we neared another flock of quacking ducks.

"You confuse me too. I'm pretty sure you're going to break my heart." Her voice was serious as I looked at her stunned, wondering if I'd heard her correctly over the noisy birds. My legs stopped moving, the relief in my burning thighs flooding my body as her words flooded my brain.

"_Me?_ I…I have no intention of hurting you, Bella," I stated, dumbfounded.

"No one ever does."

"True," I conceded as my legs started working again, but my brain didn't. I was still confused. "Bella, you kind of have to care about someone before they can hurt your heart."

"I care about you, Edward," she whispered as her small hand came to rest on my thigh, moving up and down with the pedaling motions of my leg. It was the first time she had initiated any physical contact since our night together, and it felt good. "A lot," she added as I placed my hand over hers and held it. It felt good to be touching again, but it made we want more of her.

It was starting to get darker now. The families on the riverbank had lessened considerably during our boat ride so I steered us towards the nearby dock so we could disembark.

"You could have found me," I pointed out softly. "If you care so much."

"I didn't think you'd want anything beyond our one night together."

"Well I did. I do. I think about you all the time, Bella. Did you even think about me?"

"Everyday," she whispered as our boat bumped against the jetty and I steadied it before I stood slowly and stepped onto the wooden deck. I turned back to hold Bella's hand and help her out before we thanked the guy who was mooring the boat. We walked back down the jetty still holding hands.

Spending time with Bella was reminding me why I wanted to find her. Why I wanted more. In the weeks we'd been apart, I wondered if I'd built her up to be more than she was. Maybe I was overthinking our connection and the spark I'd felt. Maybe I was hoping it was there rather than remembering that it was.

However, now that she was here in front of me, telling me she cares about me—I knew that I was right to want her, to want us. Bella was all that I remembered and more. Sure, she was guarded right now, but everyone had a past. Everyone was fighting their own battles and I couldn't expect her to open up to me when we had only met a few times. Maybe if we started to date and see each other regularly, the rest would fall into place.

I stepped off the main path and headed toward a nearby tree. As I was still holding Bella's hand, she followed until I settled her against the tree trunk and looked at her intently. I brushed her hair off her face.

"You care about me?" My thumbs brushed her cheeks.

"Yes."

"You thought about me?" My fingers rubbed her neck.

"Yes."

"Every day?" My face neared hers.

"Every day." With her firm confirmation, my lips met hers. _Fuck_! They were as soft as I'd remembered. Her hair was as smooth as I remembered, and her small moan of surprise was identical to the one I'd been replaying in my mind for weeks.

"What did you think about?" I asked as I pulled back.

"Everything." I remained silent, waiting for more. "Who you were with. What car you drive. Where you work. If you really do sleep topless."

I was stunned. The thoughts she was having were similar to my own. I'd spent far too long over the last few weeks wondering about Bella and her everyday life, her family and friends, her job, even the sleeping topless part had crossed my mind far too often.

"You could know all those things if you just give us a chance." I kissed her neck, unable to resist her soft skin and the ache that was growing deep in my bones. The hope I held about us being together was now building up again, and I was helpless to stop it.

"I'm not sure I really want to know who you were with," she whispered softly as I pulled back and my eyes shot to hers.

"I'm with you," I told her definitively.

She smiled and reached for my neck. Her fingers toyed with my hair as she pulled my head back to her, kissing my lips softly.

"This is unusual for me," she started when we parted. "I don't play games, or have on-off relationships. I'm usually an all-or-nothing person." Her hands dropped to my chest, her fingers stroking the soft cotton of my shirt, venturing up to my exposed skin but never quite touching me there.

"Well I don't have all of you," I reasoned with her.

"You don't have nothing either."

We fell into silence as I stroked the soft skin behind her ears with my thumbs, just soaking up the fact that she was here in front of me.

"Do you know how much I've thought about you? How much I've wanted to do this?" I moaned, unable to stop the desperation I felt creeping into my voice.

"I thought you'd forget all about me," she whispered as I scoffed.

"I tried. I wanted to." I dropped my hands to her hips.

"You should," she whispered, even quieter now. Her palms fell flat against my chest as I leaned into her.

"Why?" I asked, kissing down to her neck now.

"Because I'm not what you want."

"Trust me, you are exactly what I want." I groaned as I returned to her lips. My thumbs had found their way under her top to brush the soft skin of her hips. I had to restrain myself though, we were in a public park and I didn't want to ravage Bella the first time we kissed after our reunion. "We need to stop or I won't be able to walk straight," I moaned as I pulled away from her and enjoyed her carefree laugh at my predicament. "It's not funny. Come on you." I grabbed her hand and we returned to the path by the riverbank.

I could have asked Bella what she meant when she said she's not what I want but she was smiling so widely at me. Her shoulders were relaxed and she was chatty, asking me more about my architecture firm. I didn't have the heart to unsettle her with more questions. I liked the relaxed, happy Bella and now that this Bella had made an appearance tonight I didn't want to chase her away. Besides, she was what I wanted. I wanted her like I'd never wanted any woman before. I could feel it in my bones, and my dick wasn't exactly objecting either.

Bella held my hand as we walked, and I relished in that simple gesture. Before I even knew I was doing it, I noticed my thumb was sweeping over her delicate wrist, my body evidently aching to touch hers in any way possible.

As we continued to wander along, we passed a Tin Can Alley carnival stool. The burly, bearded man behind the counter was shouting in a jovial manner at anyone who walked past and I saw the exact moment he set his sights on us.

"Come on sir. Win a bear for the little lady?" he suggested, gesturing to the edges of the stool on which were hooked toy animals of every color imaginable. All huge and garish.

Bella studied me and probably saw the indecision on my face. I knew these games were often rigged, but how hard could it be to knock down a few cans?

"You don't have to. Come on." She tugged at my arm.

I stood still and patted my back pocket as I withdrew some money. I held the cash up between our faces. "This is the money you tried to pay for coffee with yesterday," I informed her, taking in her look of surprise.

"Why didn't you just use it then?"

"Because I wasn't raised to let a woman I like buy her own coffee," I explained as she raised her eyebrows at me.

"But you were raised to spend money on fairground games that you can't win?"

"Can't win? Wow, you wound me, Bella!" My hand clutched at my chest as I continued. "You've laid down the challenge now!"

I handed the correct money to the now beaming, burly, bearded man behind the stall who, in turn, gave me three small, heavy balls.

"Knock down all the cans in one stack to win," he explained as I nodded. I'd figured that out when I was six and Emmett and I set up our own Tin Can Alley at the local Scouts fundraiser.

My first ball knocked off the top can.

Not bad.

For my second ball, I took a step closer to the stall and swung my arm back further before swooping it forward and releasing the ball.

All but one of the cans fell.

One can left.

One ball left.

I looked at Bella who was watching me intently with a smile on her face.

"I've already picked out my animal so make this throw a good one!"

I pulled a face at her before I cracked my neck and focused on the last remaining can. I launched the ball in the same manner as the previous throw but this time with even more force. I was rewarded with a loud thwack sound as the ball hit the can, and a satisfying crash as the tin can hit the dusty floor.

"Ha ha!" I celebrated gleefully, raising my arms in victory as I turned to Bella. Surprisingly her focus was on the skin that was now exposed by my raised shirt, but a second later her eyes met mine and she grinned. "Pick a bear m'lady." I bowed slightly in front of her and relished in her soft laugh, pleased that I could make her looked so happy.

She pointed to the top right corner of the stool, to a stuffed animal I hadn't even noticed.

"The dinosaur please," she told the stall holder as he nodded and grabbed a pole with a hook at the end to fetch the toy Bella had selected.

"A dinosaur? Really?" I was surprised by her choice.

"Yep. Thanks, Edward," she beamed as she stood on her tiptoes to plant a kiss on my cheek.

We continued on, having now completed a full circuit of the river, which meant we were on the walk back to our cars. Bella hugged the dinosaur under her arm as she shivered slightly in the breeze which had picked up over the past hour. Now the darkness was drawing further in, the evening was getting chilly.

"Here," I slipped my jacket off and held it open for her.

She smiled up at me, her eyes soft and warm. "I can't, you'll be cold," she warned me.

"Nah, wear it, please." She slid her arms in and hugged the light jacket around her front.

"Doesn't quite match my shoes."

"Hey, don't hate on the shoes. I like them." I wiggled my eyebrows, making her chuckle at me.

"Thought you might," she replied, making hope rise in my chest again. Her admission that she was wearing her heels knowing I'd like them told me that my feelings weren't as one sided as I'd feared.

As we approached our cars, we slowed down until we were stood in front of Bella's driver's side door.

I didn't know what to say. I wished, not for the first time tonight, that I was smooth and knew all the right words, but I didn't, so I just leaned into her and gently brushed her hair away from her face. Her deep brown eyes met mine as I lowered my lips to hers but started talking before they connected.

"Bella…" My voice sounded husky and strained. God, this woman drove me mad. "Do you want to come back to my place? I don't want this night to be over." The truth was I was worried about when I'd get to see her again.

"Will there be kissing involved?" she asked as my lips touched hers gently and formed into a grin.

"That's up to you," I whispered as she took in a deep breath. I felt the stubble on my chin rub against her lips as I drew my head back slowly.

"Lead the way," she told me once our eyes met again.

I didn't need telling twice. I reached into my pockets and withdrew my keys as I swung them from my index finger while Bella watched.

"It's not far," I told her as I heard her car lock disarm.

"Good." She opened her car door and I jogged hastily to my nearby car.

**A/N: I have a few people to thank:**

**Thanks to anyone who has read this. Please let me know what you think. Also, thank you to those who have taken the time to write a review, your words are very much appreciated.**

**Thank you to my beta Lellabeth. I'm truly honored that she would give up her time to beta this little story. Any mistakes are mine because I tinker with this story all the time.**

**Thanks to SarcasticBimbo for giving me her time and opinions when she pre-reads this.**

**Also this fic came in the top five Fic Dive Fic's for September over at A Different Forest. Thanks to anyone who voted.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: "Edward, take off your damn shirt." It wasn't a request, it was a demand.

**A/N: I don't own Twilight or its characters; they belong to Stephanie Meyer. This is just what they got up to in my mind.**

Ten minutes later I pulled into my driveway, followed by Bella, her car's headlights swinging over my porch and settling on the garage doors before abruptly turning off and leaving us in darkness.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to compose myself before I exited my car. I was restless with excitement as I contemplated what could happen inside. The thought of Bella in my house, and possibly in my bed, was making my dick ache already despite my brain telling me to slow down.

We met at my front door as I opened it and flicked on the hallway light. The click of Bella's heels on my wooden floor as she entered was a foreign but very welcome sound in my home.

Bella looked around my hallway, no doubt taking in the decor and layout of the house. I toed off my shoes before I lightly placed my hands on her shoulders from behind. I silently slid my jacket off her back and down her arms before I turned to hang it up.

"This place is really nice," she complimented as I turned back to her, watching while she placed her handbag on the floor next to my shoes.

"Thanks," I whispered, taking in her nervous expression. "Do you want a drink?"

"No."

"No?" I was surprised by her answer. "Well, what do you want?" My voice was deliberately suggestive as she looked me in the eyes. I watched her intently, trying to read her body language as I silently prayed it wasn't just me feeling this tension and chemistry between us. Her eyes travelled down to my jaw and down lower to my chest.

I tried to hide a smirk. She definitely felt this!

Thank fuck, because I was desperate to touch her.

"I want you to kiss me." Her quiet voice was loud in the silence of my house.

"You do, huh?" I loved that I could make her blush and even though I knew I was teasing her, I didn't feel bad. She'd teased me all night, even if she didn't do it as intentionally as I did.

"Yes." She paused. "Edward, please."

I didn't need telling twice. I took two steps in her direction until I was toe-to-toe with her, or more importantly chest-to-chest. My thumbs brushed her hair off her face before I ran them along her lips, reveling in the warmth of her soft skin. I heard her breath hitch and felt her tongue poke out of her mouth to wet my thumbs. As I watched her, I could see her eyes dancing with lust, making me gently push my body closer to hers. I then lowered my lips to hers as her hands curled round my back to grip my shirt. Our kiss started softly but soon progressed into something more hungry and forceful as I moaned at finally feeling this again.

This. Her. Us. _Fuck!_

"Ugh...Bella." My hands found her waist as I held her close to me and resisted the urge to thrust against her. I needed her. More of her. Right now.

"Ready?"

"For what?" Bella looked confused.

"This." I bent down and grabbed the back of her thighs as I lifted her up she was straddling me mid-air.

"Edward!" She laughed and slapped my chest gently as I walked with her in my arms into the kitchen. I placed her on the counter top where she stretched her back straight to make herself a similar height to me. That wasn't the only advantage to our new position.

We were now groin-to-groin as we kissed, and when Bella scooted closer to the counter's edge I knew she wanted that friction too. I ran my hands down her legs, one hand on each until I had to break contact with her lips so my hands could reach down to her feet.

"Christ, Bella, these shoes. Torturing me all damn night," I mumbled as she giggled. I found myself smiling at the noise. I was glad I could make her laugh, she was usually so serious. I realized there wasn't much I wouldn't do to hear that sound again, even if she was laughing at how uncomfortable my dick was around her in these heels.

"You? You didn't have to walk around in them!" Bella retaliated, her eyes watching my hands as I traced over the smooth skin of her bare legs.

"No, but I watched you and your legs. Fuck!" I slipped one and then the other shoe off Bella's feet and placed them on the floor while she wiggled her toes, taking advantage of their new found freedom. I ran my hands back up her soft legs as I returned to stand as close to her as I physically could.

Her fingers immediately found my shirt and undid a button.

I grinned. I'd wondered how long it would take her to start on my shirt. Her nimble fingers working on the buttons didn't disappoint as they had half my shirt undone in only a few seconds. I watched the concentration on her face as another of my shirt buttons came undone. My hands rested on her thighs, right where her open legs were pushing up her skirt. I leant into her body and kissed her neck, working my way slowly up to her pulse point as my shirt opened wider and wider still, until she had all the buttons undone and it was being forced over my shoulders.

I leaned back and looked at Bella. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes were bright and she was biting her lip.

She wanted this.

She wanted me.

And it felt fan-fucking-tastic.

After spending weeks apart, dreaming about her, trying to remember her body, her scent and her moans, she was finally here in front of me. I felt a desperate need to be close to her, to know her, to understand her. I'd waited too long for answers, maybe now I could tease them out of her.

"Talk to me," I requested as I nibbled at her ear. "Why did you have to leave yesterday?"

"Edward." Her voice sounded exasperated.

I raised my face to look at her, my shirt still halfway down my back. "I know you said you don't have a boyfriend..." I said, trying to encourage her to talk.

"I don't. I'd never do that. I'd never cheat," she breathed out, sounding indignant as I nodded, conveying that I believed her.

"Glad to hear it." My hands crept up her thighs and my thumbs stroked at her legs, just under her skirt.

"Edward, take off your damn shirt." It wasn't a request, it was a demand.

I grinned at her. Considering it was half way off anyway, that was easy enough to do. I moved my arms and let her push the material from my body as her eyes fell on my tattoo. _Damn!_ I didn't bank on how much that one move turned her on. I remembered she liked my chest before, but I hadn't remembered the force of her gaze and the way she made me feel so wanted. I felt the intensity of her look and remembered yet again why I'd been so desperate to find her, and so reluctant to let her go.

The way she made me feel was like a heady drug and I was finally getting my long-awaited fix.

"So good," she whispered as her hands traced over my pecs.

I hooked my index finger under her chin and raised her face. She reluctantly pulled her eyes from my body and looked at me. "What's holding you back?" I asked.

"I'm right here. You're the one holding back now." Her fingers stroked over my chest, running through the fine hair there and successfully distracting me with her light touch.

"Fine." I growled a noise I barely recognized as I launched myself at her neck again, feeling her soft skin under my stubbly jaw as I nipped at her. I sure as hell wasn't holding back any more, but I still wanted answers. "You gotta talk to me, baby. Did you look for me?"

Her hands travelled down my chest slowly and deliberately until she found my belt. She fumbled with the metal hook before it fell open and she started on my jeans fastenings.

She wasn't waiting to talk with me, and I wasn't strong enough to resist her, so I calculated I only had a few more minutes until she had freed my dick and the ability to reason and think rationally left my brain.

"No...oh God!" she moaned as my hands crept up under her skirt and stroked over the material covering her center. "I...ugh, I can't think straight when you're doing that." She groaned as my thumb repeated its teasing pattern so close to her delicate skin.

"Answer, or I'll stop."

"I…I didn't look for you. I didn't think you'd want more," she breathed out as her hands returned to work on my jeans, popping the button and searching for the zip.

The knowledge that she'd soon have my dick free was making my heartbeat pick up even more. While I was distracted with thoughts of Bella and my dick, she had lowered the zip and was now pushing my jeans down my butt. I knew the time for answers was running out. "What if I do want more?"

"Then you're crazy," she replied as the jeans hit thigh level and my hard dick bobbed and twitched in my boxers. He didn't care much for talking right now, and I could feel even my brain was giving up the battle for answers.

"Crazy for you," I told her, running my stubble along her jaw before kissing her chin as my thumbs continued to tease her, skimming along the edge of her panties but never dipping inside.

"Oh God!" she breathed as I grinned, knowing my teasing was tormenting her. "Guys like you aren't interested in me, Edward," she whispered.

My fingers froze. I scoffed and pulled back from her face to look her in the eyes.

_What. The. Fuck?_

"Then guys like me are stupid." I sighed. "And this guy is very interested in you, so don't talk such shit." My tone was harsher than I intended and I knew Bella was surprised when she balked slightly at my words. "You said yesterday that you're crazy. I think you are." I groaned against her skin. "Because, Baby, you don't see yourself clearly. At all. I wish I could make you see how beautiful you are. How soft your skin is. How curvy your legs are. How amazing your tits are..." I palmed over her top, trying to get close to her aforementioned tits. "You are utterly perfect, don't doubt that."

"I know I'm not hideous and I don't think I'm a horrible person. I just...you, you're...Christ, Edward, you're all man and muscle and you make me dizzy with want."

Her words surprised me. I wasn't a gym junkie by any means and I always compared myself unfavorably to Emmett's broader build, so I never considered myself muscular. The fact that Bella saw me in such a different way was flattering and made me even bolder with my words and actions. I kissed the corner of her mouth as my fingers dipped under her panties. I felt her soft, warm, wet skin and couldn't hold back my moan.

Bella wriggled under my touch as I drew back and looked at her.

"Tell me what you want." I growled, frustrated and turned on in equal measure.

"I just want you, Edward. I want you so much. I want..." she trailed off as I returned my lips to her ear and whispered.

"Just say it..." I encouraged.

"I want you to show me that you want me. If it's true, make me believe it."

_Fuck_! I wanted her like I'd never wanted any woman before in my life. I really did want her to believe that. "Ugh, Bella. I want you to believe me, so much." I removed my hands and willed her to understand I was talking about our whole relationship, not just now.

"Please, Edward." She pulled my body flush to hers and thrust, hitting my painfully hard, cloth-covered cock and making me hiss.

"I know, baby. I want you too, but I can't understand why we can't be together. What can I do to make you believe I want more? You can trust me," I assured her.

"We can be together right now if you just shut up." She moaned as she grabbed my hard-on.

"Jesus, you're not playing fair."

"Me? You're the one who's playing a round of twenty questions instead of getting naked."

I chuckled. She was trying to look angry but her face portrayed her lust and need. Her eyes again traveled to my chest as she leaned forward and kissed my overheated skin softly, successfully distracting me again. Her feather-light touch was more of a turn on than I ever would have believed. I closed my eyes in pleasure as I relished in the emotions I was feeling. When her hand ghosted over my jaw, I opened my eyes to look at her.

"I didn't remember quite how much you loved my chest." Her face reddened but she giggled as I continued. "I must have been preoccupied with something else last time. Speaking of which..." I pulled at the bottom of her top and tugged it over her head as she raised her arms to help. I groaned when I finally laid eyes on her tits, wrapped up in a lilac-hued bra. Bella thrust against me once more, prompting me to look up at her. I couldn't concentrate on anything when she was rubbing her crotch against mine.

I thrust back.

"Don't stop," she moaned.

"I won't, not until I can feel you around my dick. I remember how good it is. I've thought about this so much. This, and you...ugh. Bedroom?" I queried.

As much as I wanted her right here and now, if we were doing this I wanted to savor her. I'd waited long enough since our first night together.

"Lead the way," she grinned as I took a step back and she hopped down from her position on the counter.

I stepped out of my jeans, pulling my socks off with them before I grabbed her hand and ran with her up the stairs two at a time, as she kept up my pace.

When we entered my room I was in front, but not for long. I felt her push me against the wall, her hands roaming my chest, her lips finding mine as she hungrily sought out my tongue. My hands found her hair and traveled down, continuing over her shoulders until I found her bra clasp. I pushed and pulled at the clasp, feeling relieved when it opened easily.

Our kiss slowed down until Bella took a step back and let her bra fall from her beautiful breasts. She threaded her arms out of the straps and dropped it on my bedroom floor.

"Oh, I've missed you," I mumbled to her perfect tits. I reached out to touch them. They were so full in this position, all pert, hard nipples and creamy skin.

"Have you been—" Bella's tone of voice caught my attention as I drew my eyes reluctantly from her tits and looked at her face. "Been with anyone else…since?"

"What? No!" I assured her as she bit her lip nervously. "You?" I was really hoping for the sake of my raging hard-on that she said no. I'm not sure I'd be able to keep him up if she told me she was with someone else while I was brooding for her.

"No," she informed me, the tone of her answer making my question sound stupid.

"Thank fuck for that," I moaned as I found the waistband of her skirt. I lowered the garment down her legs before I dropped it to the floor and she stepped out of it.

"I'll just...I should...condom." I pointed to the en suite bathroom as I looked at her standing in front of me. Her chest was heaving with her rapid breaths and her skin was flushed.

"Sure," she nodded as I dashed to my bathroom cabinet and returned as quickly as I could. I removed my boxers and sat on the edge of the bed as I rolled on the condom on. When I was finished, Bella climbed on my lap, straddling my erection. I groaned, reaching for her tits, which were now right in my face.

_Fuck!_ I'd dreamed about her and fantasized about her in this very bed and now she was straddling me and rubbing her crotch against mine in the most delicious way possible.

"Do you know how damn sexy you look?" She shook her head and bit her lip. My thumbs edged under the lacy opening of her panties. "These have got to go." Her breathing increased as she stood so I could remove her underwear. Her arms remained around my neck as she stood in between my legs. Once her panties were on my bedroom floor, she sat back down on my thighs, her legs either side of mine. I ran a finger up and down her slit, moaning in unison with her at the sensations this provoked in us.

"I've thought about this…so much," I moaned, unsure if she heard me as she grabbed my hard on and scooted closer to me. She sat up a fraction, getting leverage so she could lower herself down onto me.

"Oh yes," she hissed as she was able to take me in at her own pace. I gathered her hair with my thumbs and dropped it down her back as she arched towards me, showing off her amazing chest as she looked at the place we were joined. She started a slow rhythm up and down as I hissed at the amazing sensation and groaned with the knowledge that she wanted me.

"So good, baby," I encouraged as her eyes lifted from my chest to my eyes.

She bobbed up and down on my dick, slow at first but she quickly increased the pace.

I groaned as I watched her ride me, taking me in so deeply that I hissed and swore under my breath. Her breathing increased as her movements quickened and I was so turned on by her that I knew this wouldn't last long. It had been building all night and now I was ready to make her scream my name.

As she slowed again I stood slowly, still buried deep within her, and turned to lay Bella back on the bed as I remained on my feet and I leaned over her. "I got this." I took over the thrusting. Immediately she gasped and groaned.

"Yeah? You like that?" I checked as I lowered myself to kiss her before standing straighter to gain more leverage and watch her writhe under me.

"Yes. Right there. Oh yes, you're so strong..." she groaned as I felt my balls hit her ass and savored the sight in front of me. "You're so...ugh, so hot...right there." I watched Bella moan under me and knew I wouldn't last much longer. Her hands found my biceps while I watched her tits bouncing frantically with my movements. Soon we were soon both panting with need.

"Yes, Edward, so close. How are you doing that? Jesus...ugh," she whispered, her fingers digging in harder to the muscle of my arm, giving away her body's feelings. I knew I was now sweating from the exertion but I could feel my own body singing with delight as I kept up my relentless pace.

"I'm close too, so close," I encouraged as I stood up slightly taller, changing the angle as Bella gripped my biceps harder, clinging onto me. I grasped her thighs, trying not to hold them too hard as I watched the place where we were joined.

"Yes, now, now, now...Edward." I looked up to watch her and delighted in hearing my name on her lips as she came...fuck. That was all I needed to come myself, hard.

I slowed my movements to a complete stop as she released her iron grip on my biceps and flopped her arms dramatically down on the bed, making me smile. We both regained our breathing and I released Bella's legs. I eased slowly out and sat down on the edge of the bed before I looked behind me to see her grinning.

_Fuck, she was beautiful_. Her face was flushed and her grin made her look carefree and radiant.

"So fucking hot," I grinned at her as her jaw dropped comically.

"You don't have to sweet talk me now." Her tone was jokey as she fumbled for the bed sheets to cover up with.

I stood up, realizing my legs were shaky for a few seconds, making me finally understand the expression 'weak at the knees'. I leaned over Bella, shaking my head as I hovered over her lips.

"I'm not." I kissed her, hard. "It's the truth," I added before I stood straight again. "I'm just gonna…" I pulled on my boxers and nodded to the bathroom.

"Sure," she replied. I headed towards my en suite and entered the room before I turned around to look at Bella. She was lying in my bed, looking sleepy and now covered in my sheets, her hair splayed out behind her.

"Err, don't go anywhere," I told her nervously. I was starting to learn that Bella liked a man to be a man and right now I was probably sounding weak but I had to check.

"I've got no clothes. They're littered around your house," she replied, making me grin at the memory.

"Well…good," I told her before heading for the bathroom again.

Once back in the room with Bella I tried not to stare at her but she was in my bed, right where I'd fantasized about her being. I wasn't sure what to say now but before either of us could speak my stomach rumbled.

"I guess one hotdog isn't enough for a grown man like you?" She sat up, adjusting my sheets around her body as she did so.

"Not after all that exercise," I joked. "You wanna grab some food?" I didn't particularly want to leave this room, not when she was still naked in my bed but if I was hungry, the chances were she was too.

I tugged on a pair of jeans while Bella nodded and stood up, leaving the bed sheets behind. Her naked body was not helping my attempts to leave the bedroom and when she retrieved her black panties from my bedroom floor and slipped them on over her smooth legs all I could do was stare.

Damn, she looked good.

She then turned to a chair in the corner of my room, which had some clothes on it. She grabbed a folded white shirt from the pile of clean laundry which I hadn't put away yet. She slipped her arms through the garment and started to do up the buttons.

I strode closer to her.

"You…in that…Christ. It makes me never want to leave this room," I told her as I helped her do up a button on the shirt.

"Well if I'm wearing it, you can't!" Her eyes gazed at my chest.

"You do know I have a whole closet full of shirts, right?"

"Yeah. I'm just hoping you won't wear any of them tonight," she replied, making me decide not to put one on anytime soon.

"Noted." I nodded to her as she grinned back at me. Once the shirt was done up but still revealing a decent peek of cleavage, she asked to use the bathroom.

"Of course. I'll see what I have to eat. I'll meet you downstairs." I finally left my room, giving her space to gather herself.

**A/N:**

**This chapter isn't meant to delay any answers, it was written months ago and this is just how things happened! ****Answers are coming soon, I promise :0)**

**Thanks to anyone who has read this. Please let me know what you think. Also, thank you to those who have taken the time to write a review, your words are very much appreciated.**

**Thank you to my beta Lellabeth. I'm truly honored that she would give up her time to beta this little story. Any mistakes are mine because I tinker with this story all the time.**

**Thanks to SarcasticBimbo for giving me her time and opinions when she pre-reads this.**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: "You mean spend time with a guy _after _sleeping with him?"

**A/N: I don't own Twilight or its characters; they belong to Stephanie Meyer. This is just what they got up to in my mind.**

Once I made it downstairs, I grabbed the rest of our clothes off the floor before setting them aside and checking the contents of my fridge and cupboards. Considering it was getting late and we had already eaten, I wanted to cook something light. I didn't have much bread but there was plenty of eggs and cheese. As I formulated a plan I heard soft footsteps approaching and looked up to see Bella enter. The light caught her body as she tentatively walked forward, making my white shirt almost see-through on her pale skin. She'd flattened down her hair, but it was still slightly messed from our earlier actions. Her legs looked amazing, stretching all the way up to the bottom of my shirt, looking long and lean despite her relatively small stature.

"Umm...omelet?" I suggested dumbly, caught off guard by the sight of her, here with me in my house looking, well, like that.

"Sounds nice. Do you need any help?" she asked.

"Nope. Take a seat." I gestured to the breakfast bar across from where I was stood. She climbed up on the bar stool where she could watch and talk as I cooked. "Ham and cheese?"

"Sure, thanks," she replied, looking from the clock on the wall to me.

"You okay? You gotta be somewhere?" I asked, only half joking. I could tell she wanted what had happened this evening, but now she was slightly uneasy.

"No, no, sorry. I was just thinking."

"About what?" I asked, shredding the cheese at the breakfast bar in front of her.

"Just this." She gestured between us and around the room. "It's been a long time since I've done anything like this." She reached out, grabbed a few strands of cheese and popped them in her mouth.

"Ate an omelet?" I asked rather sarcastically.

"No. This." She didn't elaborate.

"This..?"

"This..." She tugged at my shirt, which she was wearing. "This..." She gestured to my bare chest. "This..." She pointed to the food I was cooking.

"You mean spend time with a guy _after_ sleeping with him?"

My words came out harsher than I'd intended, but I let them hang in the air as I cracked an egg into the now-hot frying pan.

"Ouch!" she replied at my not-so-subtle dig.

I swirled the egg around the pan, letting my words sink in, wondering if I'd upset her. I didn't push it. I merely watched the egg cooking in the pan as I waited for her reply.

"I meant…I mean sleeping with a guy at all," she quietly added after a short silence.

"Oh," I replied rather dumbly. The surge of happiness that swelled in my chest at her admission wasn't entirely surprising to me. I knew I was falling for Bella. I just didn't want to admit, even to myself, how much I liked her. I busied myself by adding cheese and ham to the frying pan while hoping she'd elaborate on her statement.

"I just haven't been with many guys," she told me, her voice quieter now as she ran her hands through her hair. "I've been on dates," she clarified. "It's just none of them ended like this one!" She finally looked at me, no doubt trying to gauge my reaction.

I didn't know what I was more surprised about, the fact that she was opening up at all or the words she was saying.

"You make me act crazy and reckless," she added, making me pause in the middle of flipping over the omelet to see how serious she was.

"Really?"

"Yeah. You make me want you so much that I act out of character."

Huh. Well that was good to know.

"That sounds like a good thing to me," I told her, but she looked up at me doubtfully.

"Good for you and the notches on your bed post."

I sighed at her. "Bella, how do you not know by now that you're more than that to me." I slid the omelet onto the waiting plate and passed it to her before I turned off the heat, rounded the breakfast bar and swiveled her bar stool around to face me as I stood between her legs. Her hands found my chest immediately, her fingers tracing over the planes of my muscles as she spoke.

"Edward, you're ridiculously hot. How are you not out with a different supermodel every night?"

I scoffed at her remark. "Seriously? Bella, even if I was able to do that, it's not what I want." I shrugged. "Yeah, I played the field when I was younger, but now I want something more meaningful." When Bella drew her gaze away from my chest to look up at me, her face appeared slightly troubled. I wondered if my words had scared her, but they were out there now. I couldn't take them back. Her hands left my body as she turned in her seat to look at her food.

"Have you had many serious relationships?" she asked, surprising me with her question.

"Err, not really." I walked back around the breakfast bar and started on my omelet. "I've dated women I cared about, but when I compare that to my brother's relationship or my parents', they were nothing like that." I watched her take a bite of her food. "You?"

"One guy." she shrugged, trying to act nonchalant as I wondered if she'd elaborate but instead she fell silent. I had already started to form the opinion that she had been badly burned by a past relationship and this almost confirmed it.

"And he's in the past now?" I checked, trying to sound light-hearted as I watched my food cooking in the pan.

"Yes. Very past." She nodded. "This omelet's really tasty." She pointed her fork to her plate as I smiled.

"Good." Once my food was finished I sat next to her, our thighs touching on the bar stools next to each other while we talked about safer topics - foods we liked and local places we liked to visit.

I was enjoying just spending time together. She was relaxed and I was relishing the ways I could make her laugh and have fun. It didn't escape my notice that she was relaxing and smiling more now that I had stopped questioning her. As much as I wanted to know everything about her and learn about whatever was keeping her guarded around me, I was realizing that pushing her for answers was only pushing her away.

Maybe she needed support.

Maybe she needed to trust me more before she opened up to me.

Maybe, as much as it sucked, I'd just have to wait until she was ready to move this relationship forward.

Having come to that conclusion now made my next question more risky.

"Are you able to stay with me tonight?" I tried to keep my tone light while I deliberately took my last mouthful of omelet to stop myself saying anything extra.

"You want me to?" Bella asked, surprised. She'd finished her food and was now sipping at her glass of water.

"Yes. Very much." The thought of getting to hold her and fall asleep together was much more preferable than watching her leave.

"Umm, sure. Okay," she replied. I grinned at her, slipping off my stool and collecting our plates.

"Go on up if you like. I'll just lock up down here." She nodded and left the room, grabbing her handbag and heading upstairs. After loading the dishwasher and checking the house and my phone (complete with missed calls from Emmett), I headed upstairs, delighted to know Bella would be there waiting for me. As I neared my room I heard her voice talking softly, on the phone I assumed.

"I know, I just worry. Okay. I will. You too. Yep, bye." Bella was then silent so I pushed my door further open as I entered the room. She had drawn the curtains and turned on my bedside lamp and was now sat on my bed, still wearing my shirt, her long legs drawing my attention immediately.

It didn't strike me as odd that she would check in with someone to tell them where she was or that she wouldn't be home, after all it was the sensible thing to do. I wanted to ask her about her call, but that would mean admitting I'd been listening at the door, so instead I settled for a generic question.

"Everything okay?" I stood at the side of the bed as she knelt up on her knees to reach my chest.

"Yep, everything's perfect," she replied, looking at my tattoo and drawing the outline with her fingers, making me forget all about phone calls, secrets, and feelings I couldn't control. My breathing was shallow as I watched her fingertips, complete with pale pink nail varnish, skimming over my tattoo, spreading warmth to my body. I took in the sight of her dressed only in my shirt, her slightly ruffled hair acting as a reminder of what we did earlier. My hands found her waist, clutching at the top of her ass as I concentrated on her teasing fingers and tried really hard not to lower my own hands.

_Fuck!_ I needed to calm myself down. I didn't invite her to stay so we could go another round together. I genuinely just wanted to spend more time together and I didn't want to be a jerk and turf her out as soon as we'd slept together. She had already questioned if I only wanted her for hook-ups so I wanted to prove to her that wasn't the case.

"What's this mean?" she whispered, her eyes transfixed on my tattoo.

"It's my family crest. The Cullen crest," I clarified. "Emmett has one too; we got them together when we were eighteen."

"It's really…" she paused and I waited to hear what she was going to say. "It suits you. A lion, I mean."

"Yeah?" I was pleased by her comment.

"Yeah. You're fierce and love your pack, your family," she whispered, her fingers tracing lightly over my skin. "And you have crazy hair."

I chuckled. "I guess I do."

We were silent as Bella continued her exploration of my skin, but when she glanced up at me a few moments later she shook her head and spoke.

"Sorry…" she sank down on her knees. "You probably want to get ready for bed." She scooted to the pillows and lay down as I watched, mesmerized by the sight of her. I'd fantasized about her being in my bed and I was having trouble believing she was really here.

I noticed I'd been staring at her when she spoke and sounded confused. "Sorry, am I on your side or something?" She sat up and started to move as I shook my head.

"No, no, stop apologizing. Stay there. I'll be right back." I did my business in the en suite, removed my contacts, and changed my jeans for pajama pants before I turned off the bedside lamp and joined Bella in my bed. After I'd lay down I lifted up my arm, gesturing for her to come closer to me. She rested her head on my chest and stroked up and down my arm, over my bicep and down to the tips of my fingers before she repeated that same route as we both laid in silence.

"Bella, I love what happened earlier, but I didn't invite you out for that." I needed her to know she was more than a hook up to me.

"I know. I told myself I wouldn't sleep with you again, but that resolution went out the window the minute I saw you." She laughed softly as we laid in silence again. My thumb found the top of her thigh and I softly rubbed her warm skin. I mulled over her words, felling pretty damn pleased with myself. It was comforting to know she seemed to be as attracted to me as I was to her.

"Don't I get to see your glasses again?" Her voice was a soft whisper in the darkening room.

I chuckled. "I don't really need them to sleep, sweetheart."

"Shame." I saw her lips pucker into a small pout in the dark as I lifted my head and kissed her forehead. I shook my head at the emotions brewing inside of me. Despite not even trying, I was falling for Bella. Big time. She elicited emotions in me that I had never felt before, and now she was making me love the parts of me that I previously didn't even like.

I wondered if I'd ever be able to do the same for her.

As I let my mind wander I closed my eyes, and in the few minutes that passed I grew drowsy with sleep.

"Edward."

"Mmm," I mumbled, my eyelids too heavy to open.

"Can we...can I see you again?" The uneasiness in her whisper caught my attention.

Despite my lethargy, I chuckled. "I damn well hope so!" I opened my eyes and felt Bella's fingers stall on my arm as she paused her movements.

"I want to talk to you...properly." Her voice was hesitant and I didn't even breathe for fear of saying or doing anything that would make her stop talking. "Not now, it's late and I want to enjoy this," she added. "But soon...when we have more time."

I grinned over at her in the dark. I could hear the hesitation in her voice and knew she'd just taken a leap of faith with me. "Sure, sweetheart. I'm listening whenever you're ready." My chest leaped with hope, knowing Bella was starting to trust me. Of course I wondered what she wanted to talk about, but lying with her like this in my bed, I doubted there was much that could change the way I felt about her. It felt right to be lying here with her and it felt right when she kissed my bicep and settled her head on her pillow, and it felt right when she resumed her actions, running her fingertips lightly over my torso and arm as my drowsiness retuned.

I'd forgotten how nice it was lying with someone, for companionship as well as romance. I was so warm and content lying there with Bella that it didn't take me long to drift off to sleep.

ooooooOOOOOOoooooo

I pride myself on being a morning person. At first, the motivation of starting and running my own business got me out of bed early in the mornings, but now it was habit. I liked the quiet time at the start of the day when the world was just waking up, but even a morning person needs a few minutes to wake slowly. However, with Bella, that's not what happened.

I was woken with a start as I felt her moving next to me. The room was still dark, but I could hear that she was breathing fast, and I could feel her moving about in the bed. As I rubbed my eyes to help them adjusted to the darkness, I felt her wriggling turn into kicks against my legs. She started to thrash around and become entwined in the bed sheets which only added to her discomfort.

I was immediately awake, but Bella wasn't. It became apparent to me that she was having some sort of nightmare.

As she moved she mumbled but I couldn't catch all of her words. She was holding my arm, my bicep, and really gripping it tightly. She was feisty—that shit actually hurt. However, that wasn't my main concern right now. Bella was clearly distressed and I didn't know what to do. I'd never faced this before.

"Bella..." My voice didn't seem to reach her even though I was right next to her. I propped myself up on my elbow and leaned over her as she mumbled again and shook her head.

"I can't do this alone."

"Wake up Bella. You aren't alone," I told her as I shook at her shoulder slightly.

"Don't leave—" she mumbled before she shot up suddenly, sitting straight up in bed with a gasp. She looked around wide-eyed as her breathing remained deep and heavy. I sat up behind her, cautiously watching as she breathed rapidly in and out.

"Bel—" As I spoke her name and placed a hand on her shoulder, she jumped and flinched away from me. She brushed her hair off her face with shaky hands as her eyes circled the room, flitting around before she turned her head over her shoulder and finally looked at me. Her expression was confused and stunned, and maybe a bit scared. I hated to see her like this, especially when I didn't know how to help her.

"You stayed here last night, remember?" I queried quietly, noticing her breathing was finally returning to normal.

"Ah-huh." She nodded, but didn't elaborate. She pulled her hair off her neck, holding it up, and pulled at my shirt on her body, which made me think she was hot and trying to cool down.

"Do you need a drink?" I offered as she nodded again but still didn't say anything. She concentrated instead on untangling her legs from under the sheets.

I ran my hands through my hair. I didn't want to leave her like this, but getting her a drink seemed the only way I could help her. "I'm gonna go downstairs and get some water. I'll be right back." I stretched out to her. I was about to rub her shoulder, to offer her some comfort, but I remembered the way she'd recoiled away from me only seconds earlier. I withdrew my hand as I spoke again. "I'll be quick."

I jumped out of bed and raced downstairs, grabbing two glasses of water and glancing at the illuminated clock on my oven which told me it was 03:03am. When I returned to my bedroom Bella was still sat upright, her legs stretching out in front of her as she hugged her knees. I tried not to look at her legs which, only hours earlier, had been wrapped round my waist. Instead I sat on the edge of the bed and offered her one of the glasses in my hand.

"Thanks," she whispered before she eagerly drank most of the water while I just sipped mine.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I offered, already knowing what her answer would be.

"I'm fine," she replied, not directly rejecting my offer. "I just...I thought they'd stopped," she added, sounding embarrassed.

"This happens a lot?" I asked, alarmed at that thought.

"Not so much now, just...sometimes," she informed me with a helpless shrug. She'd finished her water so I took the glass from her and placed it, along with mine, on my bedside table. "I'm sorry for waking you," she whispered but it sounded loud in the quiet dark of the house.

"Don't be silly. Lie with me. You're safe here." She gave me a half smile as I lay back down and patted the other pillow. She looked down at me, her eyes wordlessly roaming my chest for a long time before she too settled back into bed.

This time though, there was no touching. In the darkness of the room I could just about see that she was awake, but her face was blank, her mind distant and somewhere far away.

"Wake me if you need to."

I watched as her distant gaze fell on my face for a second while she nodded before she closed her eyes.

I sighed.

We both knew she wouldn't wake me. She may still be in my bed, but the distance between us was now just as great as when we'd spent weeks apart.

That's why I wasn't surprised when I woke in the morning and I was alone.

Again.

Except this time I had a note.

_'I'm sorry for waking you earlier, I still want to talk if you do? As you haven't given me your number, here's mine...Bella x'_

**A/N:**

**Please don't hate Bella too much! Answers are in the next chapter…**

**Thanks to anyone who has read this. Please let me know what you think. Also, thank you to those who have taken the time to write a review, your words are very much appreciated.**

**Thank you to my beta Lellabeth. I'm truly honored that she would give up her time to beta this little story. Any mistakes are mine because I tinker with this story all the time.**

**Thanks to SarcasticBimbo for giving me her time and opinions when she pre-reads this.**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: "We all have some crap in our past, Ed. She's not gonna go spilling her life story to you after a few fucks."

**A/N: I don't own Twilight or its characters; they belong to Stephanie Meyer. This is just what they got up to in my mind.**

Coffee. I couldn't do anything without coffee, and this morning I needed the good stuff. I called in to the coffee shop on the ground floor of our office building and ordered a large take-out coffee. None of this fancy-schmancy coffee shop stuff, just good, old-fashioned coffee was all that could help me now.

Next stop was Emmett's office. I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything until I'd spoken to him. His door was open, unfortunately for me, because it meant I got an eyeful of him groping Rosalie's ass as he whispered in her ear.

"Bro, do you need me to resend you that email on office PDA?" I interrupted as he looked up and grinned at me. I strolled into his office, unperturbed by his visitor. Rosalie was dressed in her gym gear, indicating she wouldn't be here long. I assumed she had driven in with Emmett and was now going to use the building's employee gym.

"Good trip?" I asked Rosalie.

"Yeah. Seems like there was more happening back here though." She grinned at me as I collapsed down on Emmett's sofa. "I hear you're now available to collect Seth any time we need." Rosalie was enjoying riling me up, no wonder she and Emmett made such a good pair.

"I've always helped." I defended myself.

"I know," she relented as she turned back to Emmett and I tried not to watch as they said a mushy goodbye to each other, which involved more groping than I wanted to see, before Rosalie waved goodbye and left.

Emmett sat behind his desk and started up his computer, turning his attention to me once it was booting up.

"So what's happened to you that's worth interrupting my fine morning? That's a big old coffee, even for you."

"Well this morning pretty much sucks ass. But as much as I love to relive my heartache and failures with you, I was just wondering if you dropped Seth at school this morning?" I was trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, but judging by Emmett's now-grinning face, I failed.

"Hmm, little bro, that's so considerate of you to worry about my son's education. Why, pray tell, are you showing such an interest all of a sudden?" He grinned. A big, satisfied grin which filled half his face. He was loving this too much for my liking.

"Fine. Yeah, so…I wondered if Bella was there this morning," I mumbled.

"Why would you be so interested in that?" he asked, spinning back to his computer, logging in and then turning back to me.

"Em," I warned him. His humour about this situation was annoying me now.

"Okay, okay," he answered, taking pity on me as he finally set about answering my question. "Luckily for you my darling son spilt half a carton of OJ down his shirt this morning, Bro, that stuff is sticky. We practically had to get him in the shower to get him clean, so we were running all kinds of late and he missed the bus. Rose and I drove him to school, but I had to run him into class 'cause he was worried he'd get in trouble for being late. Apparently your little Miss Swan can be quite the authoritarian when needed, but maybe you know that already?" he asked me with an eyebrow wiggle.

I kept a straight face as he continued.

"Too soon for sex jokes? Okay, so anyway, I walked, well ran, Seth to class and yes, she was there. Happy now?" he finished.

"Yeah, I guess." I moved to stand but Emmett walked over to me, pushed me back down and sat next to me on the sofa.

"She looked a bit nervous to see me," he added more seriously. "Would that have anything to do with my little brother?"

I groaned. How did he always get me to talk to him like this?

"What happened?" he asked more seriously.

"She fucking bailed again, that's what happened." I ran my hand through my hair, my longed-for-coffee feeling useless in my other hand.

"She didn't show?" Emmett queried, making me shake my head.

"No, she was there. And then in my house. And then in my bed."

"You slept with her again?" He sounded more surprised than was good for my ego.

"Yes," I confirmed. "And she left. Again. It's like that bloody runaway bride film. Seriously, what's her problem?" I grumbled, angry at Bella for her actions and angry at myself. I hadn't planned on talking to Emmett about this and now I was telling him everything. However, given Emmett was my twin brother and my best friend, we had always been close. If I couldn't be honest with him then I had no one, and maybe I actually did need his help and opinion because I was pretty damn confused.

"Err, she had work?" he suggested as I shrugged.

"I guess. She could have woken me though. Damn it!" I exclaimed as I stood up, throwing what was left of my coffee into Emmett's trash can with way more force than necessary. The loud, metallic clanging noise that it made actually caused Emmett to jump slightly as I turned to him. "I thought we'd had a good night, I thought we had fun and got past this shit, but no. Apparently not. I was going to make her a quick breakfast..." I shrugged, letting my sentence trail off.

"Cullen omelet special?" Emmett teased.

Mom loved cooking for our family, so much so that she hadn't been great at teaching us to cook for ourselves. I'd actually learnt a lot living on my own, but Emmett went from living with mom and dad to living with Rosalie, so we both knew he would still survive on nothing but omelets whenever she was away.

"No, I already cooked that for her actually." I knew I was looking smug, but instead of looking impressed Emmett scoffed at me.

"Dude, if you had a date with her and cooked an omelet, no wonder she left!" He laughed as I scowled at him.

"No, we ate out. The omelet was a snack after...just after," I stumbled over my words, his face splitting into a grin as he waggled his eyebrows at me. "Oh God, I'm shutting up now," I mumbled, my hands running through my hair.

"No, no, you've started now. So you had a date?"

"Yeah, no. I don't know what she'd call it but it sure felt like a date to me."

"And ended like one! At least that explains why you were doing a great impression of a breathing zombie in the Harrison meeting yesterday. I knew your mind was elsewhere."

"Whatever. We got the deal, didn't we?" I snapped, making him realize I was taking this seriously and his joking wasn't helping. "There's more to this and I'm going to find out what," I told him, a new resolve settling in my mind.

"She did another fuck and duck. Is there anything else to know?"

"This time was different. We talked all evening. We got on really well, and she was ready to open up to me—"

Emmett scoffed loudly and waggled his eyebrows at me. "She opened up to you alright."

I threw my hands in the air and glared at him. "Seriously, Emmett, can you get your brain out of the gutter long enough to have an adult conversation?"

"Apparently not! I'm sorry, carry on." I remained silent as he sighed. "Honestly, I'm sorry, Ed."

He looked suitably apologetic as I took a deep breath and continued. "She was ready to _talk _to me, but then she woke in the night and had this weird nightmare or something."

I hadn't mentioned this until now as I didn't want to break Bella's confidence, but I realized Emmett wouldn't understand how I felt without the full story. Besides, I trusted him implicitly. I knew the details of this conversation would stay between us. This was a good thing, because I needed to talk to someone about this and Emmett, under all his goofy and crass exterior, was surprisingly relationship-savvy. He had been married nine years and counting; he must be doing something right.

"About what?" He looked confused and slightly concerned as I continued.

"I don't know. She was shouting and screaming about being left, being alone, she was shaking and shit."

"Did you ask her about it?"

"Em, it was 3am. She was pretty distressed and wasn't exactly in a chatty mood." I knew I was being grumpy, but I was out of my depth here.

"We all have some crap in our past, Ed. She's not gonna go spilling her life story to you after a few fucks."

_Huh_. Well, despite Emmett's rather blunt delivery, I had to admit he had a point.

We remained silent as I thought about his words.

"It's not like all we've done is sleep together. We have talked…a bit."

"You told her about our past?" he asked quietly as my head whipped round to look him dead in the eyes.

He never mentioned that.

Never.

He just stared me down.

"No." I whispered my reply.

He waited for me to elaborate.

"I really like her. It scares me how much I like her, but I'm still getting to know her." I didn't have to justify this to Emmett. He understood implicitly and felt the same as me. I didn't know why he'd brought this up.

"Precisely. She probably feels the same about revealing her past to you," he pointed out as I stood and started pacing the width of the room.

"Yeah, I guess," I conceded as a short silence followed.

"Bro, you seem to have a kind of 'friends with benefits' situation going on. Are you sure you wanna knock that?"

"Friends!" I scoffed. "Right now I'm not too sure how much she even likes me!"

"Well there's one part of you she certainly likes!" Emmett teased.

I knew full well what part of me Emmett was referring to, but instead I couldn't help remembering the way Bella wanted my shirt off, the way she admired my chest, the way she'd spent ages tracing the lines of my muscles and my tattoo. I'd never felt that wanted or that needed before. She was frantic about my body, more so this last night than the first time.

Still, the end result was the same. Both times she'd left and both times I had wanted more.

I didn't want to want her. I wanted to chalk this up to a two night stand, if that was even a thing, or a 'friends with benefits' arrangement as Emmett was suggesting, but I knew I couldn't.

Maybe years ago I would have, or maybe with a different woman I could have, but with Bella I knew I wanted more.

"Bro, I like Bella," Emmett started. "From what I know of her as Seth's teacher, she's great. She's made him understand fractions which is something I could never achieve but...I might be out of line here, but is she worth it? Is she worth all this hassle? She seems pretty hostile toward you—"

"She's not hostile."

"Well, this relationship seems like hard work. I know you're picky as fuck and want the whole romance and white picket fence but, dude, you shouldn't have to persuade someone to be with you. You deserve better than that." Emmett slapped my back as I contemplated his words.

"I know that's how it looks, but sometimes, at Tanya's wedding and last night, when she relaxes and lets her guard down—"

"—and sleeps with you," he interrupted.

"No, I mean before that. We have this connection. I can't just ignore that. I know there's something there, I just need to find out what her issues are."

"Fair enough." Emmett answered with a shrug. "How do you plan on doing that?"

"I need to talk to her. She left me her phone number but I want to do this face-to-face. At least this time I know where to find her."

"Ed, all you know is that she's at work, teaching my kid, and twenty or so other equally demanding kids. I'm pretty sure her email about PDA in the workplace would be a lot more stringent than ours!" he joked as I rolled my eyes.

I did contemplate calling her or texting now that I had her number but I guessed it was unlikely she'd have her phone with her in the classroom.

"What time does school finish again?" Sure I'd picked Seth up before but I needed a reminder. Good thing I wasn't in contention for any uncle of the year award. I'd probably already lost that when I slept with my nephew's teacher. Twice. No kid would like that!

"School's out at three, but you have that Anderson meeting at eleven remember?" my brother helpfully reminded me.

"No problem," I replied, unfazed. Emmett however looked rather concerned. "It's fine. I'll prep now. I know he's a big client. I'll be there," I assured him as I turned to leave his office.

"I need your brain in the game, bro, it's no good just turning up—"

"I know Em, trust me. I got this," I snapped at my brother who looked at me with skepticism but nodded.

"Well then, good luck." He threw the comment out, not clarifying which part of today he was referring to, as I left his office to try and concentrate enough to prepare for my meeting.

Back at my desk I pulled my phone out of my pocket while my computer booted up. I'd added Bella's number to my contacts this morning and now I just stared at her name and number, remembering our night together.

The concern I had for her after her nightmare was dulling my anger at her leaving again. At least she'd left me a note. She'd said she wanted to talk to me properly and she'd left me her number so she must want to see me again, which was a good thing because I was more eager than ever to talk to her now.

Judging by that nightmare and the state she was in last night, I'd clearly underestimated her past or what she wanted to talk to me about. All this realization did was make me even more fed up with tip-toeing around her. It was time to rip the band-aid off, however painful that may be.

The trouble was, I didn't know who it would be most painful for, me or her.

ooooooOOOOOOoooooo

After my meeting wrapped up I was ready for lunch. The client's building was down the block from my dad's medical practice. I knew he'd be there today so I thought I'd be a good son and see if he was available for a quick bite to eat. I didn't want to eat lunch alone and dwell on Bella, either what had already happened, or what might happen if I managed to talk to her this afternoon.

I texted my dad, not wanting to call in case he was busy. I got a prompt reply that he was just about to see his last patient before lunch, but he should be done by the time I reached him.

I dropped my work files in my car before I navigated my way to my dad's building. Once inside, I took the familiar route to his office where I heard the friendly voice of his secretary, Heidi. She had worked there almost as long as my dad, so she knew me on sight. She greeted me with her usual perky smile as I walked past, going straight to my dad's office after I replied with a friendly greeting of my own. As I turned the corner to his room, the door was open and he was showing a patient out. I hung back, not wanting to interrupt, but as I looked again I realized who exactly it was that my father was talking to.

Bella.

She looked down the corridor and I could see the moment she recognized me. Her eyes widened in shock, but also worry and what looked to me like fear, but from this distance I was struggling to read what it was that she was feeling.

I remembered how I'd seen her last night. All of her. In my bed, which was so much more personal than the first time in a hotel room.

I remebered her look of distress and embarrassment when she woke in the early hours of this morning and I'd worried like hell about what on earth had happened to her to prompt that nightmare.

I remembered waking up alone and being fucking angry that she'd left.

I remembered finding her note on the pillow and not knowing whether to be happy she'd left a note and wanted to see me again, angry that she'd left, or concerned because whatever she wanted to talk about was clearly a bigger issue than I'd previously believed.

And I remembered my resolve to get some answers to this whole damn situation.

I gathered my thoughts and walked closer to her as my father continued to talk, his voice professional and courteous. However, when he noticed Bella was no longer paying attention he followed her gaze down the hallway…to me.

"Oh, this is my son Edward. He's just here to meet me for lunch," he informed Bella before turning to me. "Edward, I'll be with you in a minute."

"Okay, Dad," I answered robotically. I was about to turn and wait back in the reception area for Bella so we could have a conversation away from my dad's earshot, but before I got that far I saw a sight that I'd remember for the rest of my life.

A small boy, older than a toddler but younger than Seth, walked from the room and stood next to Bella. She reached her hand out and ruffled his hair in a move that looked subconscious, more for her benefit and reassurance than the child's.

"So, yeah, Tyler, you'll be just fine," my dad told the boy as Bella thanked him yet again before her eyes and my dad's drifted over to me. I could see the state of confusion on my dad's features, no doubt he was wondering why my presence was unsettling Bella. She however, looked at me in silence, waiting for questions that I couldn't seem to voice.

"Mama, you said I could have a sticker after seeing the doctor," the little boy said, seemingly oblivious to the tension building around him.

"Okay, baby, sure. I'll get you a sticker later after daycare," Bella spoke calmly to the small boy by her side. She then closed her eyes, her face wearing a slight grimace as she took a deep breath before opening them again. She met my wide, startled eyes with a look of worry before she peeled away the two tiny hands that were now gripping her pant leg. She crouched down and returned to full height a second later, this time with the small child on her hip.

Did he just say _Mama_?

**A/N:**

**Sorry for the cliffhanger, it actually wasn't intentional . As you can imagine these two have a lot to say to each other so I needed to split this beast of a scene up somewhere. The next chapter is all dialogue, but for now I think that's the biggest question answered.**

**The TwiFic Fandom Awards are currently happening. Amazingly someone has nominated me in the 'Newbie Author' category. Please pop along and vote for as many categories as you can. It seams to me that a lot of hard work goes into these awards so lets support the whole fan fic community and get voting!**

**Thanks to anyone who has read this. Please let me know what you think. Also, thank you to those who have taken the time to write a review, your words are very much appreciated.**

**Thank you to my beta Lellabeth. I'm truly honored that she would give up her time to beta this little story. Any mistakes are mine because I tinker with this story all the time.**

**Thanks to SarcasticBimbo for giving me her time and opinions when she pre-reads this.**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: She was studying my face, memorizing it as if she was afraid she wouldn't see me again.

**A/N: I don't own Twilight or its characters; they belong to Stephanie Meyer. This is just what they got up to in my mind.**

"Bella..." I choked out, vaguely aware that I had stopped pulling at my hair long enough to stroke the day old stubble on my chin. "What? Who?" I stumbled over my words as I walked towards her. I would have cursed myself for my continued lack of eloquence, but given the scene unfolding in front of me I let this one pass without really acknowledging it.

"Edward, this is my son, Tyler," Bella told me, finally looking me in the eyes as she delivered one of the biggest shocks I'd ever received.

"Son? Your son. Right," I bumbled with a nod of my head.

I felt so stupid.

I didn't even know this woman. All these emotions that I'd built up for her and with one sentence I realized how little I actually knew her.

I searched my memories of our time together for any hint of this that I'd missed; any mention of her everyday life, but I drew a blank. Nope. A child. I'd definitely have remembered that. No matter how lust filled my brain was, I'd have picked up on any hint of this.

"Mama, who's dis?" the little boy in her arms asked, drawing my attention to him fully. His cheeks, still slightly chubby from his baby years, were flushed red; his eyes were a dark brown, outlined with long lashes that added to his innocence. His little button nose, identical to Bella's, was slightly wrinkled in confusion as he stared back at me; his straight dark brown hair a ruffled mess on top of his head.

"This is Edward," Bella told him. I drew my eyes away from the boy to look at Bella. Her face was turning red, and her expression was worried.

"You two know each other?" my dad asked. Shit! I'd forgotten he was even there. Bella was still staring at me as I turned my head to nod at him. He was studying my face, but I doubted he could read my expression because I didn't know myself what I was thinking.

One minute I was mentally deciding what to have for lunch, then the next minute the woman I was falling in love with was introducing me to her son. Yeah, I was falling in love with Bella. I hadn't admitted it, even to myself, but it was happening, whether I wanted it to or not. And right now I was thinking falling in love with Bella might not be such a good thing.

A silence had fallen over us all as I ran my hands through my hair and paced the small hallway.

"Fu..." I started before I bit my tongue. I couldn't swear because there was a kid looking at me. A kid who's mere existence was threatening to change my whole life. In an effort to stop pacing the hallway I leaned my palms on the wall and dropped my head.

"Okay?" My dad's concerned voice broke through the hundreds of thoughts which were competing to be heard in the muddle of my mind. His hand rested on my back as I lifted my head and gave him a small nod.

He turned back to Bella and her son. "I'm pretty sure I have some stickers in my office. Is it okay if Tyler helps me find them?" my dad asked Bella as she nodded.

"Sure, thanks," she told my dad as she put the boy down. "Baby, why don't you look in Doctor Cullen's office for a sticker? I'll be right here."

"Has he got a dinosaur sticker?" the boy asked, making me inwardly scoff slightly at his random question.

"I don't know. Go and see."

"Can we still get more stickers later?"

Bella smiled down at him. "Yes, sure. Just help Doctor Cullen for a minute, okay?"

I watched with fascination as her whole tone and expression changed now that she was talking to her son. Her voice was smooth, soft and loving.

The boy nodded and took my dad's outstretched hand as they both disappeared into his office. My dad pushed the door, but didn't close it fully as Bella watched them.

"Edward, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'd understand if you want out," she whispered once she had turned her attention back to me.

"Out?"

"Out. You can walk away from this, from us. I'd understand."

_Wow_. I was stunned. Despite my overloaded brain, the irony of this situation didn't pass me by. There were women in my past who I'd have begged for an out like this, a walk away. A no consequences fling used to be just what I needed on occasion, but with Bella, it was different. I didn't want an out. I didn't want her to tell me that our time together didn't matter to her because it sure as hell mattered to me.

"Don't decide for me how I'm feeling," I pleaded, trying to keep my voice low as I glanced through the open door to the child talking to my dad.

"Edward, your face tells me exactly how you're feeling," Bella responded in a low hiss, the effort of controlling her emotions evident on her face.

"I'm surprised. Just give me a minute. I can't think." I knew I sounded agitated but I couldn't help it. _What on earth was happening right now?_

"I have to take Tyler back to day-care and get back to work before my lunch break is over. You have lunch with your dad—" she started.

"How can you just expect me to watch you leave? I have a few hundred questions right now."

"Yeah well, I have a kid so unless you want to deal with that…" she told me, her voice cracking slightly as I stepped closer to her and accidentally inhaled her scent. With it came a deluge of memories. Last night, her pale skin, the way her hair fell around her face, her fingers tracing a path down my chest. "I can tell from your face this is an unwelcome surprise," she continued as my eyes snapped to hers.

"Surprise?! Of course this is a surprise. I had no idea!" I was aware I needed to lower my voice, but my rapid heart rate and confused thoughts meant I was fighting a losing battle with that.

"Stretch marks not enough of a clue for you?" she replied sarcastically as I frowned, confused.

"Stretch..? What stretch marks? What are you talking about?"

"The stretch marks on my body. You can't have missed them. Where else would they come from?" she mumbled.

"I didn't see any stretch marks."

"You must have noticed, Edward." Her voice was quieter now, almost embarrassed.

"No, I didn't notice. I shouldn't have to guess at this or pick up on any hints." I told her, trying not to get irritated that she was implying I was stupid for not working this out earlier.

"I wanted to tell you. I said last night that we should talk properly."

I sighed and tried to relax slightly. She had mentioned that last night. "This is what you were going to talk about?"

"Yes. I know you deserve the truth, I just needed to know this relationship was going somewhere first…" she trailed off, her voice rather shaky.

I kept my tone light as I replied. "Well, when you told me you'd thought about me every day for weeks, I thought it was going somewhere. And when you said you wanted to see me again, I thought it was going somewhere. And when you slept in my bed next to me last night, I thought it was going somewhere then, too."

Bella remained quiet, looking at my shirt, not making eye contact with me. Presumably she was considering my words.

"I didn't know you felt that strongly," she defended herself as I scoffed.

"I told you plenty of times that this was more than sex to me. I even told you again last night. Why can't you believe me?"

"I never believed you because you didn't know about Tyler. Anything you've said about us having a relationship counts for shit because you didn't know."

"Well, that isn't _my_ fault!" I could feel my body pumping with adrenaline and my heartbeat racing. I paced the small hallway before I came to a stop in front of her. "You made me fall for you. You made me want a future with you and now…I can't believe this. You've got a damn kid and you didn't think to mention him?"

Bella was stock still, staring at me as she maintained a stunned silence.

She didn't talk.

She didn't move.

She didn't even blink.

After what felt like an eternity, but was probably not much more than fifteen seconds, she bit her lip and nodded her head several times.

"I'm sorry if you're hurt, Edward, but you don't get to speak about my son like that. If you'll please excuse me, me and my _damn kid_ are going to leave now." She side-stepped me and headed for my dad's office.

Instinctively I lunged to the side, stopping her from getting past and shutting me out like she had done ever since we'd met.

"Bella, shit. Don't leave like this. I shouldn't have said that…" Bella approached my dad's office as the door opened wider and my dad and Tyler stepped out. My dad took one look at Bella's face and then turned to me with a rather surprised expression.

"Ty, baby, we're going now," she announced rather abruptly.

"Bella, wait, please." My voice was loud in the quiet corridor as I watched her prepare to leave me, again.

"Edward?" my dad asked with a hint of warning in his tone. "Calm down," he added, making me notice how loudly I'd been talking. I ran my hands through my hair before I jammed them in my pockets to hide my annoyance. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down as my dad suggested. I knew he wouldn't appreciate me having a loud conversation at his place of work.

"Say thank you to Doctor Cullen, Ty." Bella ruffled her sons hair as she spoke.

"But Mama, I have to get stickers," Tyler protested.

"We'll get stickers on the way home this afternoon, baby, please." Bella's voice cracked slightly on the last word as I saw her shoulders slump when he continued to protest.

"But Doctor Cullen has some good dinosaur stickers, Mama. What one do you want? Do you want a brontosaurus cause they is your favorite? What's Ewood's favorite?" I couldn't help but inwardly snort at the little boy's random question.

"What, baby?" Bella asked softly, confused by his questions when she seemed determined to leave as quickly as possible. Unfortunately for her though, this little guy wouldn't be deterred.

"Ewood." Tyler confirmed. "You always says I should share, so what's his favorite dinosaur? I only gotta few left so if he wants a good sticker I gotsta save him one."

"Umm, I don't think Edward…" Bella started before I heard myself speak.

"T-Rex," I blurted out.

Bella looked up in confusion as I shrugged, that was as good an answer as any right? Well that's what I thought until Bella scoffed.

"Alpha male, figures!" she grumbled under her breath as I smiled at her sarcasm and heard my dad's quiet chuckle. This exchange seemed to break the tension slightly as Bella's son continued to talk.

"Really?" he asked me, his eyes wide with hope. "T-Rex's are so the bestest," he confirmed matter-of-factly. "You want the one eating a bone or the one that's asleep?" he asked me eagerly.

"The eating one definitely," I told him as he nodded.

"Be quick, Ty." Bella called after him as he and headed back to the office with my dad following behind him.

My dad turned and looked at me over his shoulder, giving me a stern look as I met his eyes. I didn't have any room in my overloaded brain to decipher the message he was conveying with that look, so I looked away and took a deep breath to compose myself.

Bella still had her back to me as we stood in silence, waiting until Tyler was out of earshot again.

"Bella, why didn't you just tell me sooner?"

She turned around slowly and looked up at me from under her long lashes looking vulnerable for the first time today. "Because…because you looked at me like I was special. You made me feel wanted and you kept saying you were after more. I knew that would change when I told you."

"How could you possibly know that?"

"Well you freaked the hell out when you thought I was pregnant, that gave me a hint!"

_Fuck!_ I couldn't deny that and I couldn't reassure her that I wasn't looking at her differently now, because I was.

I ran my hands through my hair again while I tried to think.

I realized I still didn't know anything about her situation. "Bella, you promised me you're single..." I trailed off as her eyes shot up to mine.

"I am."

"It takes two to make a baby."

"Thanks, Edward. Just 'cause your dad's a doctor doesn't mean I need a biology lesson from you." Her voice was heavy with sarcasm as I tried to explain myself better.

"Sorry. I just meant...I don't want to come between a family."

Bella looked behind her, through the slightly open office door, checking her son was occupied before she whispered quietly at me. "My son has never met his father and he never will."

Well, that stunned me into silence. Her situation was obviously more complicated than I'd ever imagined. I ran my thumb and fingers over my jaw and sighed at this new information, trying to process it as Bella continued to talk.

"I've told you I like you, Edward. I wouldn't leave my son to go on a date with you if I didn't feel strongly for you. If you walk away from me I'll be utterly crushed, but I have a son! A real life, living and breathing child. He doesn't go to his dad's on the weekend. I have no doting grandparents close by to have him while I go out. I have one person I trust to look after him and he's had him twice recently, you can probably guess what nights those were! I don't begrudge any of that, I love Tyler more than you can possibly understand, but he is with me 24/7. I don't expect you to fit into that kind of life."

"You're so determined to push me away," I muttered as she sighed. "You left me again this morning." I pointed out as her face flushed red.

"I was embarrassed…that nightmare…I just needed to go and think and I can't think straight when you're topless in bed next to me. I left my number—" she pointed out as I interrupted.

"I appreciate that but you don't have to be embarrassed, you could just talk to me."

"Edward, this has been difficult for me…" she trailed off as I nodded.

I pinched the bridge of my nose momentarily as I paced the small hallway again, stopping in front of her as I looked into her eyes rather intensely. "You've been anxious and jumpy around me since I collected Seth from you. I knew something was up but this…I never…I didn't…you could have told me, Bella."

"I know. I just wasn't ready to lose you." She looked at my chest, not making any eye contact with me. Her voice quiet and unsteady as she admitted her feelings to me.

_Huh._ I was taken aback by her confession. She thought when I learned about her son I'd leave her. Would I? If this was a hypothetical question I could probably have answered that but this was real. Tyler was real and he was in my dad's office picking out a dinosaur sticker for me.

It was too soon for me to know how I felt about any of this. All I knew was that I needed all the facts and right now I still had too many questions to make any kind of decision. My brain raced with everything that had happened in the last fifteen minutes and I couldn't think straight.

I heard voices coming from further up the corridor as other members of staff left their offices for their lunch break. I knew we couldn't carry on talking here and Bella had mentioned needing to get back to work.

"I…I need to think," I stuttered.

"I understand that." She nodded and hiked her handbag up her shoulder, looking like she was ready to go.

"Well I have your number so I'll contact you…" I spoke softer now, stopping altogether when I heard my dad's voice approaching. I could tell he was speaking overly loudly, wanting to warn us they were coming back. Once I saw them, I could see how much Tyler liked his stickers. He already had a T-shirt on with a picture of a dinosaur on a rock and the caption 'Dinosaurs rock!' Now though, all the space around the image was decorated in various dinosaur stickers and my dad's white coat was covered in just as many stickers. Tyler reached up and slapped a sticker on Bella's top, sticking it over her right breast. She thanked him and peeled it off, moving it up to a more appropriate spot. As I was busy watching her, I felt a slap to my belly and looked down to see a sticker attached to my shirt.

"Thanks, Buddy," I told him as I moved the sticker up and pressed it onto the front of my shirt pocket. I smiled at him. It wasn't a conscious decision. I wasn't trying to coax the kid into a conversation or encourage him to like me; his innocent face was enough to make me smile.

"Still on for lunch?" my dad asked after watching our exchange.

I nodded.

"Okay, well I'm ready when you are." He nodded back toward his office letting me know he'd be waiting in there. He said goodbye to Bella and waved to Tyler as he entered his office and closed the door, giving us privacy to say goodbye. We couldn't talk anymore, not now that Tyler was back, so I watched Bella as she held Tyler's outstretched hand.

"I'll be in touch." I shrugged, that was all I could offer her right now.

"Yeah, okay," she said looking nervous as she bit her lip. Her eyes looked like they were watering, but she blinked furiously and straightened her spine, making herself stand taller than usual. "Edward, if you don't…" she started.

"I will," I interrupted firmly.

"Well, in case you change your mind, I just wanted to say sorry. I wanted to tell you. I should have…" her voice trailed off.

I nodded slowly. I wanted to comfort her, to walk to her and press my body to hers, to kiss her forehead and say I'd make everything okay. However, I couldn't do that. I didn't want to offer her any false promises right now.

"Well bye, then." She spoke softly, looking at me with an odd expression. She was studying my face, memorizing it as if she was afraid she wouldn't see me again.

"Bye," I replied.

Bella and Tyler started to walk off, hand in hand. "Ty, your top looks so good. Did you thank Doctor Cullen for all those stickers?" I heard her say as I stood watching them walk until they turned the corner out of sight.

I turned to my dad's closed door. I needed a minute before I faced him. I ran my hands through my hair and sighed as I tried to gather my thoughts. I looked at the black and gold name plate screwed to the pale wood of the door. 'Dr Cullen'. Had Bella had made the connection? I tried to remember our previous conversations, had I mentioned my dad was a doctor? I didn't think so. Anyway, I had bigger matters to think about.

I took a deep breath as I opened my dad's office door.

**A/N:**

**Thanks for reading. Please let me know what you think. I love to hear your thoughts and really appreciate any reviews.**

**Thank you to my beta Lellabeth. I'm truly honored that she would give up her time to beta this little story. Any mistakes are mine because I tinker with this story all the time.**

**Thanks to SarcasticBimbo for giving me her time and opinions when she pre-reads this.**

**Round two of The TwiFic Fandom Awards is currently happening. Amazingly someone has nominated me in the 'Newbie Author' category. Please pop along and vote for as many categories as you can. It seams to me that a lot of hard work goes into these awards so let's support the whole fan fic community and get voting!**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: "Just because she has a pretty face doesn't mean you're ready to be a dad."

**A/N: I don't own Twilight or its characters; they belong to Stephanie Meyer. This is just what they got up to in my mind.**

"What's wrong with her son?" I asked before I'd fully stepped into my dad's office.

The room was surprisingly warm and welcoming. A rare day of sunshine was brightening up the anatomical posters on the walls and heating up the portion of the desk my father was currently sat behind. He was filling in paper work which he pushed into a folder at my arrival.

"You know I can't discuss that," he answered as he locked the folder in a filing cabinet.

"Is it serious?" I countered, desperate for any information.

"I can't discuss that either." He pocketed his cell phone and stowed his desk chair.

"Dad!" I whined at him as he merely shrugged. I paced around his office as he gathered his wallet and keys. "Well would it be awkward, her son being your patient?" I asked, rubbing the back of my neck in embarrassment as I walked out of his office and he followed me before turning to lock the door.

"That depends who she is to you." He turned to me with a knowing grin as I merely stammered, not quite knowing how to answer that. "It's okay, son." My dad slapped me on the shoulder as we turned the corner on our way out of the building. "I get the picture."

_Jeez, what did that mean?_ How much of our conversation did he hear?

My dad and I walked to the diner a few doors down from his clinic to purchase our food. The service was quick here, it was part of the reason we ate here anytime we met for lunch. Given his lunch hour had already been cut short by my surprise meeting with Bella, the speedy service was essential today.

We were quiet as we walked and I was glad my dad was giving me some time to try and process what had just happened with Bella. She'd told me she has a son. I'd met him, seen him in the flesh, but I was still having trouble matching the image of _my_ Bella with _mom_ Bella.

What did this mean for us? Could I handle this? Did I even want to try?

As we approached the service counter, I robotically ordered a BLT wholemeal baguette and a bottle of water then patted my pockets for my wallet.

"I got this, son." My dad handed over enough cash to cover both our meals. "I'm not sure you could remember your own birthday right now. You look rather preoccupied."

"Thanks, Dad." I followed him to a corner table as I tried to clear my head.

My dad picked up his own sandwich, and after swallowing the first bite he started to talk, surprising me by keeping our conversation light. He reminded me about dinner at my parent's house tomorrow night, and told me Uncle Alec had emailed him some photos from Tanya's wedding.

I merely nodded, only half listening to him. I guess he could tell because after another bite of food he sighed and the questions started.

"So, how long have you known Bella?" he began.

"Dad," I groaned as he held my gaze while he chewed his food quicker, finishing his mouthful so he could reply.

"Son, I'm just asking. That was quite a showdown between the two of you." I looked away, half-embarrassed to be talking to my dad about this, half-relieved I had someone I could talk to; someone who was in a position to give me advice in this situation. "So how well do you know her?"

"I know she's Seth's teacher," I replied as he scoffed slightly.

"I'm surprised you know that."

"I picked Seth up the other day." I defended myself.

"Jeez, you work fast! Should I be ashamed or proud?" He laughed, eliciting a small smile from me.

"I knew her before that. She's the girl I met at Tanya's wedding."

"Oh," he replied. "Oh!" It had clearly just dawned on him what that meant. "Yes. Your brother did mention something about that," he told me with a knowing grin on his face.

"Yeah. I bet he did!" I scoffed. We ate in silence as my mind returned to the little boy I'd just met. How old was he anyway?

"So you're dating her?" My dad interrupted my thoughts as I just shrugged at him.

"Err, kind of. Yeah, I guess," I told him, sounding embarrassed even to my own ears.

He just nodded slowly as he contemplated my words. "And you didn't know about Tyler?"

"No. She hinted that I should stay away, that I wouldn't want her if I knew the full story. I guess this is what she meant." I could hear that I sounded bitter, but I didn't have the energy for this conversation. I wanted to run to Bella and ask her a thousand questions. However, despite finally having her phone number, I knew that wouldn't be a good idea. I needed to assemble my thoughts into some sort of order and clarify my questions before I started firing them at her.

"Son, Tyler…well he seems a sweet kid, but a woman with a child, that's a big deal." My dad held my gaze as I stared at him.

"Yeah I fucking know!"

"Language." His eyebrows rose in displeasure.

"Sorry, but I'm a little agitated here," I replied, my words heavy with sarcasm.

"Edward, take your time. You don't need to rush into any decisions."

"But what if I turn around now and say I want nothing to do with her because she has a kid?" My voice was quiet as I admitted to my dad that I might not be able to deal with this situation.

"As much as she'd probably be hurt, I'm pretty sure she'd prefer that to you spending months getting close to them, only to leave then."

"Oh God," I groaned in frustration. I dropped my half-eaten sandwich on the plate. I couldn't taste it anyway. "I don't know if I can do this, dad. I didn't know being with her would entail becoming some sort of father figure to someone else's child." My brain was working overtime. I wasn't able to think straight. "I've been chasing after her like a fool, I wanted to find her so badly and now…" I ran my hands through my hair and sighed.

"Son, your mom took some persuading to even look twice at me. If I'd have given up at the first sign of trouble you wouldn't be here talking to me."

"This isn't _trouble_, dad. We haven't had some argument or a misunderstanding. She has a kid!"

My dad nodded, keeping his cool when I felt like mine was flying out the window. "I get that you're surprised here, I am too. I had no idea you were serious about someone." He picked up his sandwich, his expression challenging me to deny his words.

"We're…I don't know if we're serious."

"Your brother seems to think you're serious." He took a bite of his sandwich, his calm emotions the exact opposite of the feelings raging in my own body.

"Well my brother didn't know that the woman I want to get serious with has a little mini-me ankle-biter. So frankly, he doesn't know what the hell he's talking about."

To my extreme frustration my dad didn't react. He merely finished his mouthful, washed it down with a swig of his drink and wiped his mouth with his napkin. "I know you're aggravated right now, but we both know your brother is only trying to help. As am I."

"Well no one can help me. Not him. Not you. Not Bella." I sat back in my seat and ran my hand through my hair, only just managing to keep calm and stop myself hitting the table.

"Edward. Just because she has a pretty face doesn't mean you're ready to be a dad."

Well...fuck!

"You wouldn't be saying that if she was pregnant. You'd be telling me to man-up and take responsibility." I knew without a doubt that what I was saying was true.

My dad agreed. "Yes. I would, but assuming that's not the case..." he raised his eyebrows at me in question.

"She's not," I confirmed.

He nodded and continued. "That would be a different situation. One of your own making and that would be your own child. You don't have any responsibility for Tyler or Bella at this stage."

My dad let his words hang in the air as I downed the rest of my water, needing the silence to think, and the excuse of drinking so I didn't have to talk. I studied the label on the bottle, suddenly fascinated by the jargon written on the side. Huh, who knew water that trickled through mountains and volcanos for thousands of years had a best-before date?

I sighed. I was stalling now, even I knew it. I thought about my dad's words. I thought of Bella. Her smile. Her unassuming beauty. Her intense gaze. Her humour. Her strength.

"But all the reasons I like her…they're still the same. They're all still there."

When I dared to look up at my dad, he gave me a small grin.

"I'm sure they are, but that doesn't mean you have to be ready to be a dad. And that's okay."

It was times like this I appreciated my close relationship with my dad. He didn't push me but he made me think and question my emotions. "Nothing about this feels okay," I whispered.

"Edward, perhaps you're jumping ahead here. Did Bella ask you to be her son's dad? Presumably he has one already?"

I shrugged. "She said he isn't in Tyler's life, but given I didn't know the kid existed half an hour ago I sure as hell don't know much about his dad. I guess I need all the facts before I can work out how I feel."

"Facts will only get you so far." My dad had now finished eating and was piling the trash from our lunch onto the tray.

"I thought doctors were meant to like facts and figures?" I smiled at him as he grinned back at me. We both knew despite the fact that his job relied on analysis of facts and information he was a man lead by his heart and emotions.

"They do. I do. But facts only get you so far. If I was you, I'd follow your heart on this one, son. Logic and women...I'm not sure they go together!" He finished more light-heartedly.

"I haven't been thinking logically since I met her." I scoffed, trying not to read too much into my dad's grin. I figured it was a bit late for me to be modest about my feelings now. "This is just happening so fast. I knew she was different when I met her but now...it's crazy to feel like this about her."

"Do you remember when eighteen-year-old Emmett came to me and your mom and told us he wanted to propose to Rosalie?"

"Yes. You were ready to castrate him, thinking he got her pregnant."

"Yes, well, he saved that for the honeymoon. Anyway, you remember?"

"Yeah. You cancelled our trip to the cabin, kept Ali and me home so Emmett could take Rosalie and propose there."

"Exactly. I'm not sure Mr Hale has ever forgiven us for letting—or encouraging in his eyes—my eighteen-year-old son propose to his eighteen year old daughter."

"I'm assuming you have a point here, Dad."

"You know I've loved your mother since the moment I met her. I believe Emmett felt the same for Rosalie. Did I want him to get married so young? Not really, but my point is I do believe you can fall for someone instantly. Maybe it's love. Maybe it's lust. Maybe it's infatuation. Maybe it's a connection or just a feeling you can't shake. I believe in that. Not everyone does, but I do. I've felt it myself and I've seen my son feel it too. Only you know how you feel. I don't know if you'll marry Bella or never lay eyes on her again, all I'm saying is don't rule out your feelings because you think it's too fast. Just because you've only recently met doesn't devalue what you feel. If your connection is worth fighting for then you need to accept Tyler wholeheartedly. If you can't do that then you need to walk away from her."

I nodded, he had a few good points scattered amongst his overemotional speech. I thought back to the boating lake, when Bella told me she thought I was going to break her heart. That made more sense now. "I don't want to hurt her."

"I know you don't." We sat in silence while I studied my hands, not looking at my dad. I didn't want him to read my expression. "Edward, I've known you since you booted your brother into this world, always putting other people first. I know you come from strong stock. I know you have your brother's share of pride as well as your own, but you've got to decide what you want. No one else."

"I need the restroom." I didn't, but I wanted a minute's silence. Time to myself. I stood and walked slowly to the back of the diner. I splashed water on my face and took a few minutes to try and clear my head.

When I returned my dad had thrown away our trash and was waiting by the exit. I followed him outside, welcoming the cool breeze on my skin. We walked in silence until we stopped in front of his doctor's practice main entrance.

"I don't know the full story, Edward, but I don't think you'd be this confused if she didn't mean a lot to you, you'd just walk away," he said with a matter-a-fact shrug.

Damn it, he was right. I thought back to past girlfriends, none of them had been that serious. The thought of any of them having a kid was enough for me to know I would have walked. It might not be the socially correct thing to say, but I knew in my heart that I wouldn't have continued a relationship with them, I couldn't have committed to them in that way. But Bella, I'm not sure I could walk away even if I chose to.

"Are you going to talk to mom about this?" Asking my dad this made me feel like I was fifteen again and my dad had just caught me making out on the sofa with Lucy Whatshername. His answer was the same now as it was then.

"You know I won't lie to her and I won't keep secrets from her, ever." I nodded. "You're coming over tomorrow for dinner though, yeah?" I nodded and he continued. "I'll just tell her you have something to talk about, that way I'm not lying to her."

"Dad, if mom gets a hint of this she'll be booking a church and buying baby booties," I protested.

"She isn't that bad!" he defended with a chuckle. "She only wants to see you happy. Talk to her, a woman's opinion, a mother's opinion, might help," he reasoned as I considered his words.

"Sure. "

"Son, you know I've never been in your situation, but if there's one thing I understand better than most in this world it's how to love a child, any child, regardless of genetics." He smiled at me fondly as I grinned back.

"I know, dad, you're pretty good at that," I confirmed with him.

"So if you need to talk, I'm here. So is your mom, and so is your interfering, apparently unknowledgeable brother."

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks Dad."

He merely nodded at me and clapped me on the back as he turned towards his work. I'd already set off in the other direction when I heard him calling my name.

"Son, just…be careful, okay? You could really hurt her."

_Jeez, thanks, dad!_ I nodded in acknowledgement of his words but didn't reply.

ooooooOOOOOOoooooo

Knowing my mind was shot, I text Emmett and made a quick phone call to Judy telling them both the same thing—I wouldn't be back in the office this afternoon. I always give my guts to our company so I felt no guilt in talking a few hours to get my head together. There had to be some perks to being one of the bosses, right?

Not wanting to return home to an empty house, I drove aimlessly in the opposite direction. Before long I'd ended up near the waterfront that Bella and I visited only yesterday.

Walking around the river, this time alone, I tried to gather my wayward thoughts. The trouble was there were so many distractions. I seemed to be surrounded solely by mothers and their young children. I was confronted with kids kicking balls into my path, crying babies being rocked by tired looking mothers and messy children with ice-cream running down their chins. This whole world of children and parenting was alien to me and now that I was standing on the edge of that world wondering whether to join in, it was suddenly so daunting. How was Bella raising this kid, presumably alone? The prospect of that was frightening to me. I knew millions of people raised kids alone, but the reality of Bella doing it was messing with my head.

I didn't know anything about kids aside from what little I'd picked up from my nephews. Seth was older now and we could talk together and I could reason with him. JJ was too young to care who I was, but Tyler was somewhere in the middle of them. Old enough to know if I entered his life and left again, but too young to understand why any of that might happen.

I stopped at an empty bench, sat down, and rested my elbows on my knees as I ran my hands through my hair and thought.

Talking to my dad had been useful, but now, reflecting on our conversation and his advice was only serving to remind me how big a part of my life my dad was. He worked hard, but he always had time for his family. He was there on my first day of school, he was there for my piano recitals and he was at all my little league games. He volunteered to be the team's medic, meaning he watched almost all of mine and Emmett's games for five years. He taught me to ride a bike, he took Emmett and I camping, he made s'mores with us and chased away imaginary monsters. He read us story books, putting on funny voices for the characters and he built us go-karts and tree houses.

He was the man I wanted to be.

He was the father I wanted to be.

One day. In the future.

I was lucky to have him as a father, but who did Tyler have? Would he have a father figure to guide him? Could he turn to anyone when he found the woman he was falling for had hidden something from him?

I knew I was annoyed at Bella for not telling me about her son. Looking back on our conversations, I couldn't recall her saying anything that I now knew to be a lie, but I felt like she'd lied by omission. I could understand her not mentioning Tyler the night we met. She thought she'd never see me again, but once I made it clear I wanted to see more of her, that would have been the point to be honest and tell me. Still, I remembered my conversation with Emmett about revealing our pasts. I hadn't told her everything that had happened in my life up until now so maybe I had to let that go. I had to put my anger about how I found out aside, and concentrate on whether our relationship could move forward now I knew about Tyler.

However, displacing that anger was easier said than done. I knew though that a trip to the gym would be a good place to start. I had a gym kit in my car. It was always there as our building had an employee gym so going there before or after work was always an option.

I stood up decisively from the bench, pleased I was doing something positive instead of just sitting and thinking.

On my walk back to my car, I pulled out my phone to text Bella. Before I could rethink my move I asked when she'd be free to talk, realizing now that her availability was limited given we needed to talk alone. She replied saying Tyler should be in bed by 7:30 if I wanted to come over tonight.

Tonight! That was a good sign. She was clearly keen to see me.

I agreed and after she texted me her address I drove to my work building, my head feeling a fraction clearer now I knew I was going to get some answers.

The session at the gym really helped. It was quieter than usual as it was still traditional work hours so instead of my usual routine weight training, I headed for the punching bag instead. I felt so much better once I'd let my frustrations out on the red and black block of foam, but it wasn't until I could feel the beads of sweat trickling down my back and my breathing became fast and loud that I felt like I'd done enough.

I showered and drove straight home where I ate dinner and answered a few work emails to pass the time. I also wanted to change out of my work clothes so I didn't turn up at Bella's looking too formal. As I removed my shirt I spotted the sticker Tyler had given me earlier. I knew I needed to remove it before washing the shirt, I'd learned that the hard way once with a tissue. However, I couldn't bring myself to throw it in the trash. It was the only tangible reminder of Tyler that I had. I stuck it on a Post-It and put it on my fridge, next to a photo of Seth in his Little League uniform. I then slung the shirt in the washing machine and headed upstairs to find some jeans and a more casual, plain white t-shirt, pleased and slightly anxious that it was finally time to set off for Bella's.

**A/N:**

**Thanks for reading. Please let me know what you think. I love to hear your thoughts and really appreciate any reviews.**

**Thank you to my beta Lellabeth. I'm truly honored that she would give up her time to beta this little story. Any mistakes are mine because I tinker with this story all the time.**

**Thanks to SarcasticBimbo for giving me her time and opinions when she pre-reads this.**

**Round two of The TwiFic Fandom Awards is currently happening. Amazingly someone has nominated me in the 'Newbie Author' category. Please pop along and vote for as many categories as you can. It seams to me that a lot of hard work goes into these awards so let's support the whole fan fic community and get voting!**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: "She was spending her Saturday nights under bed sheets in an entirely different way than I'd have previously believed."

**A/N: I don't own Twilight or its characters; they belong to Stephanie Meyer. This is just what they got up to in my mind.**

Bella opened her front door with a look of mild shock on her face. As I registered her expression, I noticed what she was wearing. She was dressed much more casually than I'd seen her before. She had on jeans, tight-fitting skinny jeans, my male dominated brain noticed rather quickly, and a tight but casual t-shirt was hugging her hips and stretched across her chest.

"You didn't think I'd show." It wasn't a question. It was evident from the expression on her face.

"It crossed my mind that you wouldn't," she replied honestly as she held the door open for me and I entered her quaint house.

"I told you I would." She always doubted me, but this time I was trying not to get annoyed. That would not be the best way to start this evening.

"You've had time to think since then about the reality of the situation," she pointed out, closing the door behind me.

From the outside her house looked small and unassuming, a lot like Bella herself. It was a single story building with a small yard at the front but a larger yard at the back. Once I stepped inside, I realized the front door led straight into the living space. I was now in one large room which housed a sofa, a TV and other living room items straight in front of me. Off to one side but in the same room was a kitchen area with a breakfast bar which divided the kitchen from the living space. Off to the other side were three doors, bedrooms and a bathroom I assumed.

"Mama, I spilled some of my juice." Tyler's voice rung out.

I then saw him emerging from around the breakfast bar. He was wearing green pajamas with a large dinosaur on the top and small dinosaurs decorating his trousers. His hair was ruffled and his eyes gave away his tiredness.

"Okay, baby, I'll clean it up. Edward's here. Can you say hi?" Bella encouraged. The little boy looked over to me and smiled slightly, perhaps recognizing me from earlier.

"Hi," he spoke quietly.

"Hi, Tyler," I replied, unsure of what else to say. Thankfully Bella spoke next.

"I'll just sort out his juice. Take a seat." She gestured to the comfy looking sofa before she turned to Tyler and ruffled his hair as she talked softly to him. I slipped out of my boots and left them by the door, observing the small pair of slippers that were resting next to the welcome mat. Little green dinosaur faces were grinning up at me from the toes of the slippers. They looked so small in contrast to my boots. How old was this kid anyway? Perhaps I could drop that query into the conversation.

When I turned back around, I saw that Tyler was now in the living area, kneeling on a rug, resting his elbows on a small table as he eagerly flicked through some pieces of paper. I looked for Bella and found her on the opposite side of the kitchen island bending over, cleaning Tyler's spilt juice off the tiled floor. Perhaps I should have offered to help. Maybe I should have turned away and talked to Tyler. However all I did was stare at her ass. It was right there, reminding me of how she looked when she'd bent over and slipped her panties on last night in my room. Her hair had been scattered around her bare back and she'd looked so carefree, so relaxed, the opposite of how she was acting now.

"Ewood, you wanna color?" a little voice questioned.

"Umm, sure," I mumbled as Bella jumped and turned to look up at me.

"Jeez, I didn't know you were there," she explained as she gave the floor one more spray with something from a bottle in her hand and one more wipe with the cloth before she stood up.

"Ty, baby, Edward might not want to color," Bella warned. "I'm sorry," she added as she lowered her voice and turned to me warily. "I was planning on Tyler being asleep when you arrived, but, well he knew you were coming and wouldn't calm down so—"

"Bella, it's fine," I reassured her. I was actually pleased to see him again. He made this situation far more tangible and reminded me about the full reality of what I was dealing with.

She shrugged, unable to change things now. "Tea? Coffee?" she offered.

"Sure. Coffee please. White, no sugar,"

"I'll bring it through. Take a seat."

I walked around the breakfast bar and saw Tyler coloring at the small table. He was concentrating on his picture so much that his little tongue was sticking out the side of his mouth. _Huh, maybe he wasn't so scary after all._

"Have you got a picture for me?" I asked him, watching as he raised his head and looked at me. His eyes brightened with excitement as he nodded before offering me two pictures, both of which were dinosaurs. I was sensing a theme with this kid! That also explained Bella's choice of fairground toy last night. Was that only last night? So much had happened since then.

Tyler was now looking expectantly at me. I felt slightly uncomfortable, feeling I'd been thrown in at the deep end. After a few seconds hesitation I chose a picture and Tyler grinned widely at me when I opted to forgo the sofa and sit on the rug with him as he turned his attention back to his picture.

We sat in silence for a minute. I was pretty sure that, as the adult in this situation, I was meant to lead the conversation, but I didn't know how to act around Tyler. I was second guessing myself and overthinking things. Sure, I'd been around Seth when he was this age but he was just...Seth. From the age where his personality started to show it became clear to the whole family that he was basically a mini Emmett. If there was anyone in the world I knew how to handle, it was Emmett, so Seth didn't present too much of a challenge for me. Tyler, however…I didn't even know he existed a few hours ago. I didn't know a thing about him, except it was becoming increasingly obvious that he liked dinosaurs.

It appeared, though, just sitting with Tyler was enough to successfully break the ice because he began chatting away. He was speaking so fast he jumbled some of his words, but I sat and listened, simply agreeing when necessary. I was glad he was filling the silence even if I didn't understand some of his ramblings.

I then watched Bella as she located Tyler's abandoned juice and carried all three drinks through to the living space. She saw me and her step faltered as she took in the scene in front of her.

"Hey, Mama—" Tyler started as she grinned at me and held up my drink before she placed it on the side table, away from any place it was likely to be spilt I guessed. I nodded my thanks to her. "…would eat an elephant 'cause it's so much bigger. How can it be bigger than an elephant Mama 'cause they is huge and I—"

"Ty, baby, slow down," she told him, trying to calm down his excitement slightly.

"I'm not a baby, Mama," he grumbled as I chucked at Tyler's now-grouchy face. He continued to chat and was coloring away, evidently enjoying himself, as Bella sipped from her own mug and watched us. After a few more minutes of coloring, I placed the green pencil down and stood up with a crack of my knees.

"Ugh." I groaned as I arched my tall frame and flexed slightly from my time sat on the floor. I looked over at Bella, she was blatantly staring at me, looking at the sliver of skin between my t-shirt and pants which I'd inadvertently exposed when I stretched my arms. _Ha!_ I'd caught her. My grin turned into a smirk as I took a seat next to her on the sofa.

I was thrilled at catching her checking me out. She might be playing it cool, but I recognized that look in her eyes. I'd seen it before. It reminded me why I kept trying to persuade her to give me a chance, why she mattered so much to me. She wasn't very good at hiding her attraction to me so, without even trying, she made me feel so wanted.

I then leaned closer to her, really close. I liked teasing her and making her flustered. She blushed as my hand came in front of her body. I leaned all the way across her, moving back a few seconds later, this time holding my coffee cup.

"Thanks for the drink." I grinned as I sat back on the sofa and took a sip. I was struggling to hide my amusement at her blush.

"Mama, when is it bednight?" Tyler asked, snapping me back to reality as he stood up and started to climb into Bella's knee.

"Five minutes. You need to finish your drink and clean your teeth," she told him, pulling her eyes away from mine. She patted him on the back as he climbed off her knee and grabbed his cup with both hands. He noisily gulped his drink down before passing Bella the empty beaker.

"I don't wanna clean my teeth," he announced as Bella sighed.

"Just give them a quick brush please."

"But the toothpaste is yucky."

"It's the toothpaste that you choose in the store, remember?"

"Well I didn't know it would be yucky."

"Ty, it's all we have. Use it for now and we'll get some other stuff on the weekend okay?"

"'Kay." He grumbled as he walked slowly into one of the other rooms which I assumed was the bathroom. Bella set her cup and Tyler's, down on the side table and pulled her feet up onto the sofa.

We fell into silence until Tyler emerged and padded into the room. He looked tired dressed in his dinosaur pajamas and now carrying a toy dinosaur, a soft, obviously well-loved dinosaur. He headed straight for Bella and climbed up on her lap, tucking the dinosaur under his chin as he rested against her ribs and Bella softly stroked his hair.

"I don't wanna go to bed, Mama."

"I know but you'll be tired tomorrow if you don't."

"I won't," he protested lightly just before he yawned. "Uncle Garrett let me stay up with him last night while we watched cartoons."

"Oh, he did, did he?" Bella sounded shocked but amused as Tyler nodded.

"Yeah, can I do that tonight Mama?"

"No, baby. Can you go to bed nicely tonight, then on the weekend we'll build our fort and watch a film, yeah?"

Tyler's eyes lit up like stars. "Really? Can we watch Cars?"

"Again!" Bella signed in mock annoyance.

"Yeah, peas, Mama."

"Sure, but you need to go to bed nicely tonight."

As I watched Bella and Tyler's exchange I was struck by how different Bella's life was from the one I'd assumed she was living. She spent her weekends making forts, watching Disney films and shopping for kids' toothpaste. She was spending her Saturday nights under bed sheets in an entirely different way than I'd have previously believed. How on earth did I fit into that scenario?

I was broken from my thoughts by Tyler who was now chatting again.

"Ewood, where's your dino sticker?" he asked me, maybe noticing that I'd changed my shirt since he'd seen me a few hours ago.

"I had a shower so I changed my shirt," I explained. "But I kept it. I stuck it on a piece of paper and put it on my fridge," I told him as Bella looked at me rather surprised.

"Really?" he asked, apparently pleased by my answer.

"Yep," I confirmed with a nod.

"Mama, can I do that with my stickers?" Tyler asked Bella, turning his head to look at her with wide questioning eyes. "They're still on my top."

"Sure, then bed," she told him as he grinned at me.

Now I could see Bella's reservations about our relationship. For the first time since finding out about her son, I realized exactly why she was being so cautious. This boy was looking at me like I had the answers to the universe. I knew then that I had to be in this relationship, committed to Bella and him, or out. Leave now and go, because it wasn't _just_ my heart or Bella's on the line here.

"Yippee!" Tyler climbed off Bella's lap and ran to his room, returning straight away with his t-shirt from earlier. He went to his table of coloring and returned to Bella's lap with his t-shirt and a sheet of paper. He started to pull the stickers off and stick them on the paper as Bella and I sipped our drinks. I watched Bella's pink fingernails holding the edge of the paper for Tyler as I remembered the same nails dancing across my skin less than twenty four hour hours earlier. Those pink nails tracing my tattoo, making my body hum with desire for her.

I shook my head and tried to clear it of those thoughts as I consciously watched Tyler instead. It didn't take him long to finish, so he then got up and walked to the fridge, placing the sheet of paper under a magnet, before he returned to Bella's lap and grinned up at me.

"I doned it!" he announced proudly before he yawned heavily and picked up his toy dinosaur and cuddled it.

"It looks great. So who's this guy?" I asked as I poked at his dinosaur.

"Bartholomew," he told me, the 'duh' in his voice making me smile. Bartholomew? What kid calls their dinosaur Bartholomew?!

"Come on then, baby, I think Bart's tired," Bella said as she scooted Tyler off her lap and stood up herself. "Say good night to Edward," she said softly.

"Goodnight, Ewood," Tyler mumbled through a yawn at me.

"Night, Tyler," I replied as he walked away.

"I might be a few minutes. He usually wants a story," Bella explained as she looked apologetically at me. "Help yourself to anything, food, drink, the TV remote's there," she added, pointing to the small side table.

"I'm fine," I reassured her as she looked at me, really looked at me. She looked like there was more she wanted to say but she just nodded and disappeared out of sight. I could hear mumbled voices as she and Tyler talked and then the rhythmic sound of Bella reading to Tyler.

I stood up and gathered our cups and after I'd rinsed them, placed them on the draining board. I looked around the small kitchen/living room I was standing in and walked to a bookcase which housed several photo frames to take a closer look.

One of the photos was of Bella with a man in police uniform. I recalled her telling me her father was a cop, this must be him. He looked proud standing next to Bella, who was beaming at the camera. There was another frame of a guy standing with Bella, in which she looked much younger. He was obviously older than her though, in his mid-teens when she looked maybe seven or eight. Her adult teeth not yet grown in as she grinned a toothy, missing-teethed-grin at the camera while clinging to him piggyback style. In another picture the same guy, older now, held a tiny newborn, the background of the photo looked like a hospital room. He gazed down at the baby in his arms, elation and utter amazement showed clearly on his face. I could see why this photo was on display, the love depicted here was clear for even a visitor like me to see. There were also several more pictures of Bella and the same guy, who was tall with a handsome face. In one he stood with his arm around Bella, and a younger Tyler sat on the guys shoulders. Tyler had an oversized baseball cap backwards on his little head as they all smiled widely at the camera. In another photo the same guy was in some sort of karate outfit and a black belt. Jeez, Bella really hadn't been joking about knowing a karate expert.

There were also a few metal trophies and a photo of Tyler with a yellow colored karate belt, a huge smile plastered on his little face. Tyler obviously took after the other guy in some way. I was in awe of their obvious happiness in the photos, the way this guy so visibly loved Bella and Tyler. He was there through all stages of Tyler's life, from holding him as a tiny new-born to a recent looking picture of Tyler in a dinosaur onesie. This guy clearly played an active part in their life. My mind would have assumed this was Tyler's dad but Bella had said they'd never met. One final picture showed a young Bella sat with a darker skinned boy and two older men, one I recognized as Bella's dad from the photo of him in police uniform. They were all sat on a river bed, holding up fish, their catch for the day, I assumed.

I realized that there was now no noise coming from the other rooms and I assumed Bella would be out soon, so I headed back to kitchen worktop to make us both a drink. I clicked the kettle on and as I approached the fridge for the milk, I smiled at the sheet of stickers Tyler had placed there earlier. I also saw some more photos, along with various drawings and a card inviting Tyler to Paul's 4th birthday party which would be held at 'Tots 'n' Tumble'. There was another card with a photo of a baby which announced the arrival of baby Siobhan. I stared at these little snippets of Bella's life. Would I ever be part of this? Would I learn how Bella knew Siobhan's parents or what Mike was thanking Bella for when he sent her that card which was next to a crayon drawing of a T-Rex? The card was held up with a magnet of the Golden Gate Bridge, had she been there? Or maybe it was a present from a friend or family members visit?

Everything about Bella intrigued me. Why did I want to know all this? What was it about her that I couldn't shake?

As I looked up from the fridge, milk carton in hand, I heard a door squeak and saw Bella walking towards me. The way she walked, her slight frame and unassuming expression all reminded me exactly why I was still here, but it was about more than that now. It was about the way she cared for Tyler. The way she was here alone with him. Why was she left to raise him alone?

I was knocked from my thoughts as she approached me and I held the milk up to her.

"I was just making another coffee. Is that okay?" I checked as she stopped the other side of the kitchen island and leaned on her elbows on the wooden surface.

"Of course," she replied with a shy smile. I wondered what she was thinking about me making myself at home in her kitchen.

"You want one?" I asked as she nodded.

"Tea please," she answered with a nod as I looked around for the most logical place to find teabags. Bella then come around to my side of the breakfast bar. I could feel her behind me and she leaned past me and opened a cupboard door. I spun round so her face was now level with my chest and smiled down at her. She was now very close to me and my body was humming in response. She remained silent as I stroked a lock of hair from her face.

"You ready to talk, baby?" I asked as she bit her lip softly and nodded.

"Ready as I'll ever be," she whispered.

"It's okay, I won't bite," I grinned at her as she raised eyebrows at me. Okay, so I may have nipped at the base of her neck yesterday, but judging by her moans at the time she didn't object.

The kettle clicked off and she stepped backwards. I sighed and turned to finish our drinks. I didn't know how this talk would go. She was so cagey and, as yet, hadn't really told me anything. I'd found out about Tyler by accident and still knew very little about him. His age I could guess at, but I knew nothing about his dad or Bella's circumstances.

All I did know was I felt drawn to her. I wanted her in a way I'd never wanted a woman before. I wanted to be close to her, to be in her life, to touch her and to know her. I knew she felt an attraction to me and had moments where she gave into that attraction, but I didn't know what else she wanted from me.

Bella walked in front of me and sat on the sofa, her back against the arm rest as she faced the spot I would sit in. She pulled her legs up and crossed them on the sofa before she thanked me for her tea as I sat close to her with my own drink.

"Bella, I don't want to pry but is Tyler okay? I mean he was at the doctor's with my dad…"

"He's fine. He broke his arm a few weeks ago and it was just a check-up."

"Good, I'm glad he's alright. So, had you met my dad before?"

"Yeah, but I hadn't made the connection between your dad and you. The check-up was booked when he had his cast off, before I even knew your surname was the same as his." She shrugged as she trailed off.

"So, Tyler's the reason? You have a son, that's why you've been pushing me away?" I clarified.

"Yes," she confirmed, taking a sip of her drink as I nodded slowly to myself.

"Well you didn't give me much credit. I mean you obviously don't think I can handle this in any way." I tried to keep my voice soft but there was no hiding the slight blame and accusation in my words.

"Look how you reacted when you thought I was pregnant." Bella's voice rose as she started to get defensive. "You were so mad Edward—"

"That's different," I interrupted immediately.

"I don't see how. You weren't ready for a kid then. One that wouldn't even be here for nine months but would be your own baby. Why should I believe you're ready for an instant child? A three year old, who isn't yours?" she asked me harshly.

"I don't know if I am, but I hate the way you don't want to give me a choice. You kept him a secret from me—"

"I'm not ashamed of him." Bella butted in forcefully. "He's the single best point of my whole life it's just…" she sighed before she continued. "He gets attached very quickly, to males especially, not that I've introduced him to any other guys…ever," she added hastily, "...just, family and friends. I just don't want him to get hurt if he got close to you and you decided that you can't do this."

"Bella, I can't tell the future. I'm not in a position to make you, or him, any promises yet, but I do know that I'm here because I want to be. I just...this is such a shock. I need to think..." I tried to explain.

"Well then you go away and decide if I'm worth it," Bella whisper-shouted, her anger only been kept in check by the knowledge that Tyler was asleep and presumably would wake if we spoke too loudly. "Go on…" she said standing and pointing to the door. "Go and decide if my beautiful, amazing son is going be too much hard work for you. Go and judge us when you don't even know us. Is this woman worth it if she's got a kid? Nah, I'll get another one with less baggage, easy."

"Bella—"

"Can't you see that's how this makes me feel?" she continued. "This is exactly what I wanted to avoid. This is why I was so cautious with you. I'm giving you all the power in this relationship to decide whether to continue or not."

"Power!" I scoffed. "I have no power here. I'm powerless to you. I want to be able to walk away, but I can't. I've tried to forget you, but I keep coming back to you. Now with Tyler…I just don't want to mess up and hurt you, _either_ of you." I pinched the bridge of my nose. This wasn't going well, we were both getting cross and defensive and resolving nothing.

I could hear noises coming from the direction of Tyler's bedroom. Bella looked towards his room and sighed. "You don't have to stay. If you have some thinking to do…" she started as I rolled my eyes at her.

"I'll be here," I told her as she nodded. She shot me a small smile and headed off to Tyler's room.

I finished my coffee in a few gulps and then laid my head back on the sofa, thinking about what Bella had said. She was so sure I was going to leave her now that I knew about Tyler. Is that what most men would do? Is that what men had done to her in the past? I was trying to get my thoughts straight but being here, in Bella and Tyler's house, I could see the lives they had built for themselves. The knowledge that I had the power to upset that was sobering. This wasn't some reckless, teenage relationship or some no strings fun, this was suddenly serious and I needed to step up or ship out.

I heard Bella walking back towards me. She'd now put an oversized hoodie on. It appeared to be a karate club hoodie and as she turned to sit down I could see #1 Mom on the back like a squad name and number. I raised my head, sitting up properly to give her my full attention as she sat next to me.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I know I get defensive about Tyler," she started to explain. "I do appreciate that you aren't giving me any false promises and I don't expect you to be fine with a woman who has someone else's kid. I never expected things between us to go this far." She picked at a loose thread on the sleeve of her hoodie as she carried on.

"I thought I'd have a bit of fun at Eli's wedding. You're so attractive that I didn't think you'd even notice me, but you were paying me attention all night and you looked so hot in that suit. Edward, you made me feel things I hadn't felt in a really long time." I could see her face reddening at her admissions but she carried on regardless.

"You reminded me I'm a young woman too, not purely a mom. You made me want you, so much..." she trailed off as I grinned. "Anyway, I wanted to be with someone who wasn't judging me. Someone who didn't know my past and my responsibilities, and then the next day I'd return to being Mom and Miss Swan. It was easier to be with you, assuming we'd never meet again. I gained confidence from that. I didn't know we would get so complicated. I assumed you'd be relieved when I was gone the next morning."

"I definitely was not pleased that you'd left. I thought we had a connection. I was angry that you clearly didn't feel that," I clarified.

"That wasn't the case." Bella shook her head and pushed her hair back from her face as she spoke. "I did feel a connection to you, but I knew I'd have to tell you about Tyler if we met again. Then when you picked up Seth you were so happy—"

"That was because I found you!"

"Well I could tell Seth idolizes you. You were great with him and I thought then that you might be okay with Tyler. I decided to tell you at the diner and see if you still wanted the see each other. But then you flipped when you thought I was pregnant. I panicked and I knew I couldn't tell you then. I thought it would be better to go our separate ways. "

"But you agreed to meet me."

"Yeah well, I really like you. Being reluctant to date was no reflection of my feelings for you. It was because I didn't know how you'd react to Tyler. Then yesterday…Christ, so many times I wanted to tell you, but I was making myself so sick worrying about your reaction that I almost didn't show up. It meant I had to decide not to tell you and to just enjoy the date, otherwise I'd have bailed. I kept remembering when you thought I was pregnant. Your face, Edward, you looked so angry, you were fuming. I kept thinking that's how you'd look when I told you about Tyler."

"I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that you couldn't tell me," I said sincerely.

"It's not just you. Since Tyler was born I've only met a handful of guys. I was honest and upfront at first which is possibly why I didn't have a date for three years. Then one guy I met who asked me out…well, I told him I had a son during the first date and he actually got up and left the restaurant." Bella shrugged.

"What?" I asked, drawing her attention back to my face.

"Yep. He made up some excuse but we both knew why he was bailing. He left me sat in the middle of a fancy restaurant alone. I told myself I was stupid for trying to date, so when I met you and had a chance to have fun and just be me, I took it and I'm sorry if you've been hurt. I never wanted to hurt you or lie to you —"

"Hey, don't be silly," I reassured her as I brushed hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear. "I haven't exactly suffered in any of this. Yeah you've been frustrating but now I understand why. Just don't judge me by other guys' actions, okay?"

Bella gave me a small, apologetic smile. "Okay." She nodded in agreement. "And for what it's worth, I am sorry I didn't tell you about Tyler earlier, I should have. I told myself I'd tell you this morning when we woke up. That way I could leave straight after if your reaction was bad, but…well, after that damn nightmare I was too embarrassed to face you." Her face fell to her hoodie again as her hands disappeared into the sleeves. "I know I've messed all this up," she continued. "I just...I wasn't ready to give you up." She finally looked at me and I saw the sincerity in her eyes.

We fell into silence while I processed everything she had told me.

Bella wrung her hands together and for the first time I realized what she meant earlier about me having power in this relationship.

I'd felt for weeks that I was chasing her, trying to get her to open up and talk to me but now, sitting here, I felt the heavy weight of responsibility and decision making resting squarely on _my_ shoulders. I was overwhelmed by the knowledge that it was up to me if we called this quits.

Looking around Bella's house I could see Tyler's drawings stuck to a noticeboard in the kitchen. His little backpack was hanging up by the front door and a pile of dinosaurs was discarded on the armchair nearby. Bella and Tyler's lives were so deeply intertwined, it was hard to imagine how I could fit into this set-up.

I wasn't vehemently opposed to bringing up someone else's child. That would be pretty damn hypocritical of me if I was, I just never considered it would be something I'd do. Taking on Tyler was different if his dad was around. From what Bella said earlier, he wasn't, but I needed to know the whole situation.

"Bella, Tyler's dad…I couldn't help but notice your photos…you said they'd never met so who's that guy?" I pointed to the bookcase and waited for her response. Her eyes followed my hand as she smiled softly before she shook her head sadly.

"That's his uncle," she informed me.

"Uncle?" I asked, feeling relieved as I realized that guy wasn't anyone romantic to her.

"Well, technically he's my cousin, but he's like a brother to me and Tyler thinks he not only hung the moon but made it as well" she told me.

"So, no brothers or sisters?" I asked as Bella took a sip from her cup, looking down at it afterwards as if it offended her. I guess it was cold by now, or lukewarm at best.

"Just Garrett" she replied. "He's…he's amazing. He's older than me but we were always close. He's helped a lot."

"So what about Tyler's dad?"

"He umm, he passed away before Tyler was born."

"Oh, God, Bella," I gasped in shock. Of all the things I was expecting to hear this evening, that wasn't one of them.

Wow, that was hard information to deal with. "Bella, I'm so sorry," I whispered as I looked up at her face. She wasn't crying but her eyes had glassed over and they were watering as she blinked furiously. "Bella…" I reached for her but she stood up quickly.

She walked to the bookcase where she grabbed a tissue as she stood with her back to me. "Sorry, I don't talk about this much," she explained as I gave her a minute and waited until she sat down again. I moved to comfort her but she shook her head. "I'm fine. We're fine, Edward. You don't have to feel sorry for us," she insisted as she scrunched up the tissue in her hand and pulled her knees up under her chin in a clearly defensive position. "I finally made my peace with it a while ago. Tyler will never have his dad and I have to accept that and move on because I let it beat me up for too long."

I nodded, not that I really understood what she'd gone through; I just wanted to encourage her to talk more.

"Are his family involved with Tyler?" I asked. I knew, without hesitation, that if anything happened to me and I left a child behind my family would fight with their lives to see my child.

"They umm…they blame me..." she replied as I looked at her broken expression, "...for Jake's death."

**A/N:**

**Thanks for reading. Please let me know what you think. I love to hear your thoughts and really appreciate any reviews.**

**Thank you to my beta Lellabeth. I'm truly honored that she would give up her time to beta this little story. Any mistakes are mine because I tinker with this story all the time.**

**Thanks to SarcasticBimbo for giving me her time and opinions when she pre-reads this.**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: "Maybe you need to think less about your dick and more about your future."

**A/N: ****I don't own Twilight or its characters; they belong to Stephanie Meyer. This is just what they got up to in my mind.**

"What? Bella, surely that's crazy?" I looked at her with astonishment as she continued talking.

"They don't think so. Jake's family blame me for his death and they don't have any contact with Tyler because of me. I'm the reason he has no dad and barely any family." Bella spoke the words matter-of-factly.

I shook my head at her. "Bella, things are never that straightforward."

We sat in silence for a moment before she spoke again.

"I was eight when my parents' marriage broke up." Her pink nail-varnished fingers picked at her tissue as she spoke. "My mom took off and my dad moved us to a new town. Jake and I met when my dad and I were unpacking our truck, and from then on we grew up together," she started to explain as I listened intently, watching as she balled up the tissue in her fist.

"Neither of us really had our moms in our lives so when our dads became best friends we spent a lot of time together. We went to different schools, but we were always each other's best friend and I think our dads took some comfort in raising us together. Neither of us had any siblings and I was new to town so I welcomed the company.

"We had great summers together fishing and camping, and I practically lived at Jake's house in the school holidays when my dad had to work. Everything was great until we reached our teens, our feelings started to change." Bella paused as I sensed she was getting uncomfortable.

"Jake was confident. Never cocky," Bella clarified. "But he was certain we'd end up together. I wasn't so sure but he waited. He never asked me out and we never had a first date, but we kind of fell into a relationship. It felt right and of course our dads approved!" Bella rolled her eyes but continued.

"When we were seventeen, there was a day our dads were out fishing. They wanted Jake and I to go, too, but being rebellious teenagers we ditched them and went to the movies instead.

"There was an accident. Jake's dad, Billy, was hurt. It was never life-threatening but he's been in a wheelchair ever since." Bella shook her head, almost as if she was trying to shake away the bad memories.

"He became so frustrated and angry. Angry at us and angry at the world. He never accepted his fate. At first it was understandable but as months and then years passed, he never changed, that initial anger never left him. He was always so bad-tempered. He resented Jake and I because he thought if we were there things would have been different. He was cross at my dad for insisting they went fishing that day without us and he was generally so damn angry all the time.

"Jake was the only family around to care for Billy. He remodeled their house for Billy's wheelchair, dragged him to every appointment, administered his meds, cooked and cleaned for him, everything. Jake's life changed as much as Billy's. It also meant Jake couldn't move out, so when we were eighteen, I moved in.

"Jake was always so busy either at work or helping Billy that it was the only way we had time to see each other. Our first experience of living together should have been carefree and fun, but instead living with Billy was hard. He took his anger at my dad out on me. Never physically…" she added quickly when I raised my eyebrows at her, "…just verbally. He was bitter and angry, but Jake made excuses for him. He changed too," she said sadly, as I listened intently. I wasn't sure how I felt listening to Bella talk about her ex, but as I was finally getting some answers from her I kept quiet and let her continue talking.

"Jake was always fun and made me laugh all the time but living with Billy…well, it made him resentful at times. We never had any fun. We could never go out, never go to the city overnight or stay out at a concert. We never even went out for a meal, let alone had any kind of vacation. We were young, but Jake was tied down and responsible for Billy. I wanted to move away, train to be a teacher and start our own lives somewhere new, but that was never an option so we carried on living with Billy for years, but we just argued more and more.

"I probably could have handled things better, but at the time I felt like there was just no end in sight. Billy wasn't a child who would grow up and gain independence; he was a bitter man who was only getting worse as he got older. The atmosphere in the house became unbearable and one night Jake and I had a huge argument and I left. I slammed the door and drove off.

"I just kept driving and driving. I knew if Jake looked for me he'd go to my dad's, so I couldn't go there. Garrett was living here in Seattle by then so I headed here. It was a two hour drive and I think I cried the whole way. I'll always remember Garrett's face when he opened his front door. I don't think he's faced many women turning up on his doorstep in floods of tears, but he just held me while I garbled out some version of what had happened. He knew what Billy was like; they'd met plenty of times when Garrett visited Forks. Garrett made no secret of the fact that he wanted me to leave Jake."

"He didn't like him?" I queried, quite surprised at her words.

"He didn't dislike him. He just thought I was settling for Jake." Bella shrugged.

I knew that feeling well. I'd seen my parents' marriage and now with Emmett and Rosalie, and Alice and Jasper—I wanted what they had. I'd promised myself a few years ago that I'd never settle. I didn't want to be with someone I could live with. I wanted to be with someone I couldn't live without.

"So you stayed with Garrett?" I prompted. Bella looked slightly reluctant but picked up her story where she'd left off.

"Yeah. Then early the next morning my dad turned up. I assumed Jake had gone to Charlie's looking for me and when Charlie knew I'd gone, they both worked out I'd be at Garrett's. I was surprised to see him because it wasn't like him to get involved in my relationship with Jake. Jake was like the son Charlie never had so he didn't take sides with us.

"I knew straight away from his expression that something was wrong. He used his most soothing police chief voice to tell me to sit down. I'd heard that voice before, when he was delivering bad news to unsuspecting families." Bella trailed off for a moment before continuing.

"Jake had come after me in his truck and wrapped it around a tree. No one else was involved but he…he was gone by the time they found me." By now tears were forming in her eyes as she wiped at them furiously. "Sorry, I know that's a lot of information…" she carried on.

"Bella…you know that wasn't your fault right? You weren't responsible," I interrupted. She needed to know that. She shouldn't carry guilt like that around for years. That alone would be enough to destroy a person.

"Edward, if it wasn't for me, Jake never would have been in his car that night."

"But you aren't responsible for his driving, or the car maintenance, or the road conditions," I reasoned, reaching across and taking her hand.

"Tell that to Billy," she replied as she squeezed my hand.

"I will if you give me a chance!" I was suddenly overwhelmed with an unfamiliar need to defend her. I was learning that Bella could look after herself just fine, but I still wanted to help and protect her.

She brought her free hand up to where our hands were clasped and traced over my knuckles with her fingertips. She ran her fingers delicately over my hand as I spoke, asking her the inevitable question.

"How does Tyler fit into all of this?"

Bella's hand paused for a second before she picked up her movements again.

"I'd found out that night that I was pregnant," she started. "I freaked, totally freaked! It wasn't planned. Jake and I were on the rocks and I would never want to bring a child into that house, that atmosphere, that mess.

"I hid the test and didn't tell Jake straight away. I needed to get my thoughts together first so I could be strong enough to deflect Jake's worries. I was obviously preoccupied and upset which meant Jake and I argued about nothing.

"When they found him in his car he had a bag on the passenger seat, it had a bib in it…" Bella's eyes were watering again but this time the tears fell down her cheeks as she spoke.

"The bib said 'Daddy loves me'," she choked out before finally looking up at me. "He knew, and he was coming to find me, to tell me it would be okay," she breathed out before I swallowed her up in a hug and pulled her onto my lap. I rubbed her back as we sat in silence while I digested everything she had just told me. Her breathing was quiet but I knew she was crying. Her fists grabbed at my shirt as I tried to comfort her and her chest rose and fell occasionally as she tried to calm down.

After a few minutes she stood up and grabbed a fresh tissue, dabbing her face before she sat back on the sofa and composed herself.

"Bella, I don't know what to say," I told her lamely.

"I'm sorry I got upset. I never talk about that night."

"Well I'm glad you told me," I replied sincerely. "How old were you when all this happened?"

"I was twenty when I got pregnant. Twenty- one when Tyler was born."

Twenty-one. I thought back to when I was that age. Jesus, I couldn't have kept a plant alive, let alone have been solely responsible for a baby. Emmett and Rosalie had Seth young but they also had each other and both families, four doting grandparents and plenty of able aunts and uncles.

Bella had none of that.

I did that math. Given that she said earlier that Tyler was three, that made Bella about twenty-four. I'd figured she was a few years younger than me so that fit.

"Jesus, Bella, I don't know how you coped."

"I don't want your pity." Her voice was stronger now. "This isn't some sob story. I simply wanted to tell you what had happened so you could understand our situation better."

"Tyler's an amazing kid. You're right to be proud of him."

"Thanks," she whispered. "You don't know how nice it is to hear that." Bella tucked her hair behind her ears.

"It's true," I insisted.

"Sometimes," she acknowledged. "But you haven't seen him have a tantrum yet," she said seriously. "I was so worried he'd inherited his dad and granddad's temper that I asked Garrett to teach him karate. Garrett's a black belt instructor and usually doesn't teach kids so young but Ty needed an outlet for his frustrations. It seemed to work, and he loves spending time with Garrett."

"So Garrett looks after Tyler?"

"Occasionally, when I go to weddings or paddle boat rides on the waterfront," she replied with a small grin, before she turned more serious. "He's been my lifesaver. He was there for my whole pregnancy and when Tyler was a newborn…well, he was amazing. It was comforting to know Ty would have a male role model in his life."

"So Jake's dad doesn't see Tyler?" I asked in disbelief.

"No. I sent photos and offered to visit but when Billy was hesitant I didn't push it. I think his sister moved closer to help him and care workers stepped in too. Initially I wanted to help. I felt like it was my duty, but I had to put my baby first. I'd stayed with Garrett since the night Jake died. I couldn't face going back to Forks, except for the funeral. When Garrett suggested I stay in Seattle permanently it made sense to me. I could make a fresh start with him close by for support.

"Then as Tyler grew up, Billy became more and more distant. I never really understood his reluctance, maybe Tyler reminded him of Jake too much, I don't know, but I do know that he was furious at me because I didn't give Tyler Jake's surname," she added. "I put Jake's name on the birth certificate as his father and Tyler's middle name is Jacob, but I gave him my surname. I needed to feel like a family, me and Ty. It might be just the two of us but I wanted us to be a unit together. Billy was furious. He said I'd disrespected Jake and now there is no one to carry on his family's name. He's barely spoken to me since."

"Christ, Bella." I was having trouble processing everything I'd learnt this evening. "I…wow."

I was so close to my family I found it hard to put myself in Bella's shoes, to have lost so much and to feel so alone.

"So what about your parents?" I asked in disbelief, surely they'd stepped in to help their only child and grandson?

"My Dad's still in Forks. He visits occasionally and calls Tyler a couple of times a week. I've tried to set him up with Skype but…well, it's a work in progress. My Mom's pretty flighty though. She came and stayed with me for a week or two when I left Garrett's and moved in here, a few weeks before Tyler was born. She checks in every now and then but she's unreliable. Tyler loves her because she's great fun when she visits him, but that isn't often."

I sat back on the sofa and rested my eyes as I processed everything Bella had been through. It certainly wasn't what I was expecting to hear tonight, but I was glad I finally knew more about her and her past.

"I'm sorry for laying all this on you," Bella started as I lifted my head and listened again. "I just didn't know how to tell you about Tyler. As soon as people know about his dad, they look at me differently. I liked that you didn't pity me or see me as some poor single mom struggling through life because I'm not. I liked the strong person I was with you."

"Bella, you are strong to me, stronger than I thought before. I could never pity you," I told her sincerely as I turned my body to face her, desperate to touch and comfort her but not knowing yet where we stood with each other.

I think most of my questions about Bella had now been answered, except one.

"What about your nightmare last night, was it about Jake?"

Bella looked down at her hands but when she spoke her voice was even and steady.

"Kind of. It's always the same. Jake's gone and Tyler's this tiny, scrappy, wriggly little baby." She smiled slightly, maybe at a memory, before she continued. "I just felt so alone. I knew I would never be able to give Tyler the one thing he wants most in the whole world. Watching him grow up has been amazing, but the older he gets them more he questions his situation. I'm stereotyped as someone who got pregnant by some deadbeat guy who didn't care about me or Tyler and it's not like that."

"Well hopefully the important people in your life know the truth," I reasoned.

"They do now." She smiled shyly up at me as we fell into silence.

"Can I use your bathroom?" I stood and stretched, needing a minute to think without feeling an awkward silence between us.

"Of course." She pointed to one of the three doors and I headed that way, taking my time as I tried to think.

I passed a door with letters stuck on which spelled out Tyler's name. His door was ajar and the room was dark, but a nightlight meant I could just about make out his little body. His feet only reached half way down the bed, making him look so young and small. His hair was stuck to his forehead and his little arms gripped his dinosaur Bartholomew tightly.

I shook my head and continued onto the bathroom. I thought about Tyler, how small and young he was, but how happy he seemed, despite everything that had happened to him already in his life. I thought about everything Bella had told me and felt I understood her past actions better now, but I still wasn't sure what this meant for our future.

My mind was still in a haze as I returned to the living room and sat back down, turning to Bella as I spoke. "Bella…I've struggled to understand how I feel about all of this, but I think I'm realizing you having a son is different to how I feel about your son." She looked confused so I carried on explaining what I meant. "If you told me you had a son before I met him, I think I would have freaked out. I never imagined myself dating someone with a child and the abstract idea of your child is scary and relationship changing." She looked worried. "But now I've met him. I've seen you two together as a little family, seen the life you've made for him, it makes me admire you even more." Bella smiled at me as I continued. "But it also highlights to me the importance of getting this right, of being honest with you about how I'm feeling."

"And how is that?" she asked me quietly.

I shrugged. "I'm still processing everything that's happened today. I've only known about Tyler for one afternoon."

She nodded. "I don't expect answers from you right away, but you need to know that Tyler's lost one dad already. I can't risk him losing someone else in his life, not if it's something I can control. He deserves someone in his life who values him, who takes him to a ball game, or takes him fishing and teaches him the rules of baseball. Not someone who simply tolerates him, I couldn't bear that." She looked up at me as I nodded.

I could understand that.

"At the same time though, I know it's not fair to ask that of you. You are under no obligation to love someone else's child and I feel like a bitch saying you can only be with me if you take Tyler as part of the package, but the reality is, he comes first."

"Bella, I'd worry if he didn't! I don't think I'd want to be with a woman who could abandon her child for a relationship. I understand what you're saying, but surely you can see that I can't offer you any promises right now."

"Of course."

We sat in silence, neither of us having any answers for our problems.

Bella then turned to me, wringing her fingers together as she spoke. "Edward, I want you in my life and Tyler's, but I don't want to tie you down to a life you'll resent. I never want us to feel like a burden to you. I've been in that situation with Billy and I never want to make anyone else feel like that."

I nodded, understanding what she was saying. "So what now?" I queried.

"I don't know. I have to do what's best for Tyler. My feelings don't come into this."

"Well they should," I scoffed at her.

"I gave up any right to put myself first the moment I looked at my positive pregnancy test," Bella told me.

"You're allowed a relationship, too. How do you feel? Am I fighting a losing battle here?" I asked softly, almost afraid of her answer.

"No. I like you Edward. More than like you. You make me feel wanted again. I haven't felt that in a long time."

"Good, because you're entitled to be happy too. I don't want you to feel like I'm judging you, deciding if I should bother 'cause it's not like that at all. I'm just aware that Tyler makes this…important. I feel like I need to get this right for him and that scares me. I've never been responsible for anyone else's feelings. I don't want to fuck this up."

"Edward, Tyler isn't your responsibility. You shouldn't feel obliged to stay with me. I'll understand if you want to walk away, or take time to think…" Bella trailed off as I looked at her.

She was a strong, independent woman, but right now she looked so vulnerable, waiting to hear if I wanted to be in her life or not. "I don't want to lose you. If this is too much we could be just friends." Her voice was quiet and didn't carry much conviction, but her words were enough to rile me.

My eyes shot up to hers, my eyebrows rising somewhere close to my hairline as I failed to contain my surprise at her words.

"Friends? _Friends!_" I scoffed in disbelief. "Really, Bella? Friends. You think I'd be happy with that?"

"I don't know," she replied softly, seeming taken back by my harsh reaction to her suggestion.

"Well I do. You're crazy if you think I can be just friends with you."

"I'm sorry the thought of being my friend appals you so much," she replied sarcastically, as I ran my hands down my face.

"Bella," I started as I turned to her. "I know what your hair smells like. I know how soft your skin is. I know how smooth your legs are. I know how your nose crinkles when you concentrate. I know how you sigh in your sleep. I know if I undo my top few shirt buttons, you'll take every opportunity to look at my chest. I know how to make you moan in a way that has my dick at full mast immediately. I know you grip my biceps, really fucking hard, when you come. You think I can know all those things and think those thoughts and be _just friends_?" Bella's face had reddened more and more with every statement I made, until she was now looking highly embarrassed and surprised. "You're asking me to be around you but never kiss you, never touch you. Do you want that?"

She studied my face as I waited for her reply. "Edward, this isn't up to me. This is on you because we come as a package, Tyler and I, so maybe you need to think less about your dick and more about your future."

"Yeah. I think you're right. I do." I nodded at her words as we fell into silence.

My brain was fried from this whole day. I ran my hands up and down my thighs as I tried to think about what to do next. I knew I wanted Bella, that was never really in question, but right now I couldn't commit to her life with Tyler when I'd only known about him for a few hours.

I looked over at her. She looked tired, exhausted actually, and I now knew she had a three-year-old to get up and ready before she headed to work in the morning.

"I should head home," I whispered, not really wanting to leave but knowing we both needed space. I stood up slowly and watched as she did the same. We stood awkwardly close to each other. Really close. I could see how this evening had affected her emotionally and I desperately wanted to comfort her. My mind knew it was a bad idea, but my body inched closer to hers anyway.

"Bella, Christ, I really want to kiss you," I whispered as she looked surprised. "I know it will confuse things but..." My hands found her jaw and my body closed the gap between us.

Bella watched me without moving to kiss me. I was pretty sure she was making certain it was me who was initiating this. Fuck! I needed to kiss her and touch her. I was desperate to confirm to myself that despite everything I'd found out today, she was still the same Bella I'd gotten to know. I needed to know that my Bella existed, as well as Mom Bella and hurt, practically widowed Bella.

I'd seen such a different side to her today that I needed to reconnect with the Bella I knew. The one who would moan when our lips met. The one whose hand would find my chest one way or another, and the one who made me feel so wanted despite our current situation.

When I looked into her eyes, they were calm and warm, and the closer I stood to her the more her breaths increased until my lips were touching hers. Her hands gripped my shirt as she kissed me back softly. She didn't deepen our kiss and I slowly released her lips and rested my forehead on hers. I closed my eyes and savored the feeling of her body next to mine, reminding me of why I wasn't immediately ruling out a relationship with her. Reminding me of our time together over the past week when things has seemed so simple and I'd been so willing to allow myself to fall for her.

But now, remembering the reality of the situation, I was worried. Bella had made it clear she wanted a guy in her life who not only accepted Tyler but valued him, and rightly so, every kid deserved that. However, it was now obvious to me that being in Bella's life and on the fringes of Tyler's wasn't an option. This was an all-or-nothing relationship.

"Please don't hate me," I whispered as Bella stepped back and looked me in the eyes.

"For what?" Her voice was full of alarm and worry as I took a deep breath.

"I don't know if I can do this." I whispered. Bella merely nodded as I continued. "It's not Tyler, or you, it's just-"

"It's not you, it's me." She raised her eyebrows at my clichéd words as I shook my head.

"Well it's definitely me. I don't know if I can be the man you and Tyler need."

Bella's closed her eyes and kept them closed as I took her hand. She didn't struggle against me, instead she gripped my fingers as I spoke.

"I just need more time. I've only known about Tyler a few hours, this has really blindsided me. I need to sleep on this at least. I do want you, I want this..." I played with her fingers as I spoke. "But I need to think about everything."

"Okay," she whispered as she finally opened her watery eyes and gave me a weak smile. "Just promise me you'll tell me straight if we're over." Her hands released mine and gently toyed with my shirt as I watched.

I pulled her closer to me and kissed the top of her head. "I really don't want us to be over."

She smiled a small soft smile and raised her hands to stroke over the stubble on my jaw. "Me either. But I want you to know I don't think I could ever hate you. I appreciate you taking this seriously."

I nodded and slowly backed away from her body, missing the heat and closeness immediately.

"Are you going to be okay? I hope talking tonight didn't upset you." I guessed I'd opened a can of worms tonight and I didn't want her being upset once I left.

"I'm fine. I'll just head straight to bed."

"Okay, well I've got a busy day at work tomorrow and then dinner at my parents, but I'll text you and speak to you soon. "

"Sure."

She watched me as I spoke. "Okay," I nodded and turned from Bella's broken expression as I slid my feet into my boots, deliberately not looking at the dinosaur slippers next to them.

She stepped around me and opened her front door. I shivered at the cold air that entered her house. I wanted to stay here, with her in the warmth, and not face the real world. Since that wasn't an option, I stepped outside and fumbled for my car keys as I spoke.

"Close the door, you'll get cold."

She gave me a weak smile and nodded. "Okay, bye, Edward."

"Bye." I heard the front door click shut as I walked to my car, exhausted and confused after such an emotional day.

**A/N:**

**Thanks for reading. Please let me know what you think. I love to hear your thoughts and really appreciate any reviews.**

**Thank you to my beta Lellabeth. I'm truly honored that she would give up her time to beta this little story. Any mistakes are mine because I tinker with this story all the time.**

**Thanks also to SarcasticBimbo for giving me her time and opinions when she pre-reads this.**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15:

"Nun?"

"No," I scoffed. "Kid."

"Shit!"

**A/N: I don't own Twilight or its characters; they belong to Stephanie Meyer. This is just what they got up to in my mind.**

"Hi, Mom. Sorry I'm late," I called down the hall. I'd let myself into my parents' house and was now hanging up my jacket before facing the whole family.

"It's only five minutes today, I'll let you off!" She laughed as she turned to me once I'd reached the kitchen.

Emmett had been out of the office all day, meaning I'd been crazy busy at work which had been both a blessing and a curse. It meant I'd had a break from the incessant thinking and wondering that had plagued me all night and resulted in only a few hours sleep.

I'd thought about Bella grieving for Jake and dealing with a surprise pregnancy. I'd thought of her with a newborn baby and little support. I'd thought about the other guys she'd mentioned walking away when they found out about her son. Therefore I had an awful, restless night's sleep, which meant I was in a bad mood and no closer to an answer for Bella.

Now I was stood next to my mom, hoping and praying she wouldn't question me too much about whatever my dad had told her about my love life. I really wasn't in the mood for questions and discussions, but she had on her favorite apron and she was beaming. Her whole face lit up when she was surrounded by her family and the little boy inside me who wanted to please his mom was fine with showing up to these dinners when it made her so happy. The grown-up in me loved them too, just not when I was going to get questioned about my love life like always.

"Everyone's at the table. Take this in for me please, dear."

"Sure, Mom." I kissed her cheek as I took the dish of vegetables from her and she followed me with a jug of gravy. I greeted my family as I placed the dish down in the center of the table and took my seat. Everyone was loading their plates and chatting. It was all so familiar and comforting to me.

"Are you driving son?" Dad asked, a bottle of wine hovering close to the glass at my place setting.

"Yeah, soft drink for me please, Dad," I informed him as he moved on to Emmett's glass and filled it after a nod from his eldest son.

"See, Eddie, bring a chick to these dinners and you can have a drink too," Emmett joked. "Ow!" he added, no doubt because of a kick under the table from Rosalie.

"Thanks, Em," I replied dryly. "You're meant to be on my side, don't start with the relationship digs before I've even taken a bite of food, Mom usually waits till we're on dessert at least," I said with a smile in my mom's direction.

He laughed and Mom merely rolled her eyes at us and told us all to start on our food. She was watching Em and I, and I know she loved how close we were. I knew my dad must have talked to her about yesterday, but I also thought she'd wait for me to broach the subject myself; she would give me time and space, knowing I had Emmett to talk to.

I excused myself to use the bathroom before I ate. When I came out, Emmett was there with raised eyebrows. Whether dad had spoken to him or he'd picked up on my mood yesterday when I didn't return to work, or today around the dinner table I didn't know, but he was waiting for me to talk.

"Nun?" he asked when I took too long to think of how to start this conversation.

"No," I scoffed. "Kid."

"Shit!"

It was times like this that our connection was so strong we didn't need words. He patted me on the back, still processing my words.

"Fuck! That's a surprise," Emmett started as I nodded. "It does explain a lot though." I nodded again. "If you wanna talk—"

"Thanks."

We headed back to the table and took our seats. The food was delicious as always but I wasn't tasting much today. I stayed out of the conversation that was bubbling around me, content to enjoy the food and relax, knowing the questions would soon be flying in my direction.

As conversation around the table changed topics again, I found myself watching JJ and thinking of Tyler. Was he like that when he was JJ's age?

Alice and Jasper's one-year-old was appropriately named. Jasper Junior was a mini version of his dad but with a strong dash of Cullen stubbornness as well as Alice's piercing eyes and hair color. He was a good little boy, but hard work. How had Bella coped on her own? I'd seen the effects of a newborn on Alice and Jasper. They'd soon got into a rhythm and routine, but I'd seen how they'd relied on each other for support. Who did Bella have to rely on? Garrett seemed close to both Bella and Tyler but I doubted he was there at two in the morning when Tyler wouldn't settle and Bella was exhausted.

"E! E!" JJ called to me. I realized I'd been staring at him but not interacting.

"Okay, JJ?" I asked as Alice looked at me oddly.

"What's so fascinating about my son today, Edward?" she asked me, sounding genuinely curious.

"Oh nothing." I shrugged to downplay my actions.

"Getting in some practice?" Emmett butted in as Jasper nearly spat his drink out in surprise. My mom's eyes went wide as she started to shake her head at me.

"Edward Antony Masen Cullen, if you—"

"What?" I interrupted. "Why are you middle naming me, Mom?" I gasped as her glass lowered to the table with a bit more force than usual.

"She's thinking you've got some chick pregnant," Emmett stage-whispered to me with a grin, successfully lightening my mood.

"Only because you just said I was 'getting in some practice'!" I spoke through gritted teeth as Emmett chuckled.

"Edward?" My mom's voice was stern, drawing my attention back to the matter at hand.

"Relax, no one's pregnant. Well, there are women all around the world are pregnant, but none of them with my baby," I said confidently. I'd never risk that. My dude was always wrapped. Always. Plus, in a moment of insanity, I had already checked this with Bella.

My mom visibly relaxed as Jasper chuckled and spoke to JJ, jokingly asking him if he knew what trouble he'd caused.

I sighed. It was now or never. "It's just…this woman I met at Tanya's wedding, we really clicked…" I was interrupted by Emmett's loud laugh. He tried to dull it down when I shot him a dirty look, but Emmett was never one for subtlety.

"Anyway," I continued when I realized Mom and Alice were still looking questioningly at me. Rosalie no doubt knew the whole story from Emmett and my dad knew parts of it, but I had no idea how much he had told my mom.

"We…well I couldn't get hold of her, after...well...I mean after the wedding," I added when Alice raised her eyebrows at my words. "Yeah, after the wedding. I didn't have her contact details and I didn't know how to find her…"

"Was she the one I saw you dancing with? She was wearing a red dress. That was a lovely dress, can you find out where she got it from…" Alice babbled before she quieted down. "Sorry, side-tracked, continue." She waved me on.

"Anyway, I picked up Seth from school and well, she's his teacher…" I continued as my mom smiled at me. "Don't get too excited, Mom," I warned her jokingly.

"You look happy talking about her, Edward. You never talk about anyone special." She beamed.

Did I? Oh shit, was I that transparent? I needed to tone this down.

"Have you kissed Miss Swan?" Seth asked sounding mortified. I'd forgotten how perceptive he was at this age, maybe I should have been more careful talking around him.

"Err, we're friends. Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah." He shrugged. "Miss Swan's cool. Mr Newton, our French teacher, he always calls her 'Miss Beau' what does that mean?"

"Beautiful," I answered with a scowl.

"Seth, could you run to my diaper bag and grab JJ's wipes for me please? It's just in the hallway," Alice asked her nephew and Seth nodded and stood up. She shot me a look, silently telling me to talk quickly before he returned.

"Well I don't know what's happening. I found out she, err, she got a child. A boy. He's three. I just found out yesterday so I'm still getting my head around that and what it means for us. I don't know why I'm bothering though. I'm sure Dad has filled you in," I trailed off as my mom continued to smile at me.

"Your father gave me an edited version of your lunchtime chat," she confirmed as I looked at him, unable to know what he'd told her. All eyes on the table were on me, waiting to hear what I had to say and I didn't know myself. I was still too confused to explain the situation eloquently.

"Excuse me," I finished as I wiped my mouth with my napkin and stood up. I left the table and headed for the cloakroom. That didn't go as planned at all. Now my siblings had settled down, there was only me left to get this grief. Sure there were digs about when Emmett and Rosalie would add to their family but other than that they all loved to question me. Most of the time it was fun and jokey, but I was more sensitive this time. I'd never felt this way about anyone before and I'd definitely never contemplated a relationship with a woman with a child before. Perhaps I did need my family's advice and support after all.

I waited a while and gathered myself before I returned to the table. Alice was coaxing JJ to eat something other than gravy and my parents were deep in conversation with each other but too low for me to hear.

"I didn't eat your dinner; you're good to finish it!" Emmett joked with me as I sat down, noting Seth was back and hoping that was enough to deter anyone else from talking about Bella in front of him.

"I guess I should be grateful," I replied sarcastically.

"You really should," Rosalie joined in. "Greedy guts polished off all the roast potatoes and was eyeing yours before I stopped him!" she explained as I smiled while tucking into the delicious home-cooked meal.

"Don't worry, dear, there are plenty of puddings," my mom told him.

"Yum," Emmett started. "I haven't had desserts as good as yours since Miss Swan made some for a bake sale," he said, causing me to glare at him as he shrugged back at me. "You should definitely keep pursuing her if she can cook as well as that!" he added, undeterred by my mood.

"Hmm, I'll get right on that!" I replied. Why was I so sarcastic today? Maybe that's what brothers did to you? Or maybe I needed to get laid again? That's sounded great, but I think this time I had a hell of a lot of work with Bella to do before that was a possibility. I could see now how it was easier for her to be with me before I knew about Tyler. Now I knew the only way we would be together would be in a proper relationship. Before I knew about Tyler, I felt like I was ready for that, but now I was putting a little boy's happiness on the line. This was a big responsibility, one I'd never had to deal with before.

Conversation had picked up again around the table. Talk of JJ starting daycare was producing some raised voices and some laughs and as I watched my family interact I realized for the first time that I envied my siblings. I'd been happy for both of them when they were married, but I'd never wished it was me. I had more of a carefree lifestyle, more freedom to do as I pleased, to do _who_ I pleased! Now though, I realized that I did envy the companionship they had. I always thought finding the person I wanted to settle down with would be the hard part, but now I was wondering if keeping the person I wanted to settle down with was what was going to break me. I never thought I'd have to decide whether to walk away from someone I was falling in love with, but Bella's situation was different. She was vulnerable; she had Tyler to protect so I guess I was out of my depth this time.

I finished my last forkful of dinner and as everyone else had finished before me, I started collecting up plates and serving bowls. Once dinner was cleared away and dessert eaten, we all sat on the back deck watching JJ ride a tricycle in the garden with Alice, Rosalie and Seth close behind him, laughing at the way his little legs were working furiously to move the tricycle a few feet.

My mom was sat next to me. I could see her knee bouncing furiously out of the corner of my eyes, as she looked over to me every so often. I sighed, ran my hands though my hair and picked up my drink, needing to occupy my hands.

"Just spit it out, Mom, you're going to faint from blood loss if you bite your tongue any longer," I joked with her, trying to start this off in a casual manner.

"I just want to see you happy, son, and well sometime happiness comes in unexpected ways," she told me as Emmett scoffed.

"Ma, what on earth does that cryptic message mean?!" he bellowed as our dad chuckled at my twin's abruptness.

"I mean, perhaps you shouldn't rule out someone who you obviously like, just because their situation is complicated," she clarified.

"She has a son!" I answered. "A sweet, friendly, clever little kid, but still a son. That's a huge curveball for me. I've never dated anyone with a child before and to be honest, it does bother me, so I need to get my head around it. Besides, she's practically disregarded me. She assumed Tyler was a deal-breaker and thought I'd run away scared and want nothing more to do with her when I found out."

"Maybe she's pushing you away before you can run?" my dad suggested softly. "Without meaning to, I heard some of your conversation yesterday, Edward, she has one foot out the door already, assuming you're going to run," he concluded as I nodded, knowing that's what it sounded like yesterday.

"Dude, she's got a kid! If you haven't run already, if you can handle that, then you can handle anything," Jasper advised.

"Very true," Emmett added.

I looked over to see my mom smile at my dad. Damn, she'd already got her hopes up that I'd met the love of my life and wanted to settle down and give her a million grandchildren.

"So have you talked to her since yesterday? What's her situation?" my dad asked gently.

"She's not got much family; I think it's pretty much her and Tyler, and her cousin who helps when he can. Her dad's supportive but he lives a couple of hours away. Her mom's flighty, off living her own life, and she has no siblings so it's just her and Tyler most of the time. She has friends obviously and she's happy, she just doesn't have this," I said pointing around at our family gathered together.

"And Tyler's dad?" my dad asked me, his eyebrows up in question. Understandably, he always took a very dim view of fathers who abandoned their kids. He always drilled it into Emmett and me that if we ever found ourselves in that situation, we would be held accountable as a father.

"No," I explained as my dad's face grew angry. "He err—" I continued before my dad could launch into one of his famous speeches about irresponsible fathers. "He passed away, before Tyler was born."

"Oh dear," my mom gasped as my dad's mouth abruptly closed. "That's awful, poor girl," my mom continued.

"I know," I sighed. "Tyler never got to meet his dad and Bella's raised him alone."

"What about the dad's family?" Emmett asked quietly. He'd only just learnt about Tyler's dad too and he sounded shocked.

"I asked her. It sounds like he didn't have too much family either. Bella's tried to involve them, but for various reasons they don't have a relationship with Tyler. I guess that's why she's so leery of me. If I was to get close to Tyler and we don't work out…" my voice trailed off as my mom studied me.

"So how did you leave things with her?" my dad asked.

"I don't know. She did suggest maybe we should be friends." I scoffed at the memory.

"And what do you think of that?" my dad asked.

"I think it's a fucking crazy idea."

"Language, Edward!"

"It is! I can't...I don't want...that wouldn't work," I concluded.

"It could be a good foundation for your relationship. You seem to have rushed things a little, maybe being friends first could work?"

My dad meant well, I know he did, but he must know the real reason I couldn't be just friends with Bella. Sex with her had been amazing. I couldn't knowingly give that up to be friends.

"Edward, I was your age once. I know what's important to you, but there's a child involved here. This relationship needs a strong foundation."

I nodded. "I know, but she's made it clear we will only work if I'm all in with Tyler. It's all or nothing for us."

"How does nothing sound?"

I scoffed, remaining silent as I buried my head in my hands, not wanting to see my parents' reactions to my dad's question.

I looked up to see my mom smiling at me and I looked questioningly at her.

"What are you so happy about?" I asked as she chuckled.

"I think Jasper's right, if you were going to walk away, you'd have done it by now and we wouldn't be having this conversation. I haven't seen you talk about a girlfriend like this…well, ever," she concluded.

It felt weird to have Bella referred to as my girlfriend, but it made me smile. "Just don't start booking the church yet," I told her as Emmett laughed.

"I just want to see all my children happy. You deserve that, Edward," she spoke softly as I shot her a small smile.

Alice then came running over holding JJ at arm's length, her hands under his arms like he was a bomb about to explode. The kid was covered in mud from head to toe. How did he get so muddy in the few minutes since I looked away? My mom leapt into action as her and Alice shooed JJ into the house.

Jasper looked at me. "You could have all that fun too."

I rolled my eyes at him and silently thanked Emmett when he changed the subject and started telling my dad about a tricky client we'd had at work that week.

I let my family's voices wash over me as I mulled over my thoughts. I knew I wanted Bella, but one night's sleep hadn't given me any answers as to whether I could be some kind of father figure to her son.

I didn't stay long after that. I made my excuses and left early while everyone else was still in the garden. Back in the hall I was threading my arms through my jacket when my mom approached me.

"Are you okay?" she asked, concern evident in her voice.

"Yep." I don't think my reply was convincing.

"You look tired." She brushed a hand over my brow as she spoke, reminding me of when I was a kid and I felt sick. She'd always feel our foreheads for a temperature, insisting a mother's instinct was stronger than a doctor's opinion, even when my dad didn't agree.

"I'm fine," I insisted.

"Edward, it's okay to be confused here, but I think you should also try and see this from her point of view. Letting a man into your child's life is huge, it's a bigger decision than letting him into your own life. She wouldn't want you to be in her son's life if she didn't think you'd be a great dad."

My mom talking about me being a dad was freaking me out. I did the zip up on my jacket before I sat down on the stairs in the hall and ran my hands through my hair.

"Other guys weren't interested once they knew about Tyler. Why does everyone seem to think I'm any different?"

"Because of the way your face lights up when you talk about her...and Tyler. You could be just what they need. And they could be the best thing to ever happen to you."

"We'll see," I answered with a shrug as I stood up and fished my car keys out of my pocket.

"Edward, I know you can be a great dad. I know it. But you have to _want_ to do it."

"Thanks Mom." I kissed her cheek lightly.

"Take care of yourself, please." She patted my back as I nodded and headed for the door, relieved to be heading home to my bed, but not so pleased that it would be cold and empty.

**A/N:** **Thanks for reading. Please let me know what you think. I love to hear your thoughts and really appreciate any reviews.**

**Thank you to my beta Lellabeth. I'm truly honored that she would give up her time to beta this little story. Any mistakes are mine because I tinker with this story all the time.**

**Thanks to SarcasticBimbo for giving me her time and opinions when she pre-reads this.**


End file.
